“You’re Young, You Have Time!”
God damn, I am sick of hearing this. Seems it’s almost a weekly occurrence that somebody says this to me. Often times, they’re older than me. Significantly older. They’re foolish. Time is the one thing you simply can’t get more of. I know this.
And yet, I’ve wasted a ton of time over these last few weeks. My trip to Budapest sucked away a bit of my soul in addition to killing my liver. I think a part of me is still sitting on top of the bridge crossing the Danube River. The bridge that I sat on and drank beer until the wee hours of the morning. In that moment, I was just free. There was no work. No stress. Just the gentle sounds of a city sleeping at night and the sound of the ice-cold Danube rushing beneath me.
Now I come back to California and think about really leaving. But fuck, it makes me panic. I debate whether I should make the leap to location-independent-fuck-you-9-to-5 this year. That scares the shit out of me. Someone tells me I’m young. That I have plenty of time to make the decision. Fuck you, I am not. 24 is right around the corner. I am about to pass from young 20s to mid 20s. The years are only going by faster. They will never slow down. And there is nothing I can do about that. All I can do is maximize what I have.
Back to moving abroad.
I can’t figure it out. I talk to fellow bloggers whom I write more than (by a lot), and yet, they get more views and sell more products. But I’m a tech guy, so I’m doing something wrong. I take suggestions and fix things, but there is still so much to do. This article on OKCupid gets over a hundred hits a day from Google. Yet no one buys Cracking OKCupid, even when they click through. I can’t seem to crack the secret to selling it. It is not making me enough to live abroad. Not that I expected it to fund my life, but I hoped maybe a small chunk.
On to the Indian-fested world of Elance. I spent tonight bidding on web design jobs. It felt like dating online. Copy and paste message -> modify a few things -> sell yourself the best you can -> hope they respond. What a crapshoot. This is how I want to make a living?
Elance bidding leads me to a glass of red wine and this blog post. Every day that isn’t a success is more time lost. Yet people keeping saying that I’m so young. I have plenty of time to figure things out. What horse shit. The countdown started the day I left the womb.