Last updated: September 13, 2017

Women Drag You Towards Mediocrity, and Here’s How You Stop It



I left a comment over at Illimitable Man’s recent post, Instructions For A Polite Feminist, that I think is important enough that it warrants it’s own post to elaborate on the message I was trying to convey.

First, read his whole post. It’s really fucking good.

Second, my comment reads as follows:

This is absolutely fantastic man.

Something I’d personally add on to ‘The Burden of Performance’, and I’m sure many would agree with me: women will do almost anything to sabotage a man of high performance. Effectively, they test you for the entire duration of your relationship.

Think about every relationship you’ve ever had past the ~3 month stage. At the point where she is sleeping over and actually sticking around the next day. For most men this point is probably an exclusive relationship but mileage may vary.

Remembering that this woman is attracted to you from various measures: your health, your wealth, and your overall drive motivation, etc.

Does said woman continue you to support you in these goals? Does she encourage you to wake up at 6am on a Saturday to hit the gym, and then spend your day developing your new business or getting ahead in other ways of life?

Fuck no.

Instead, girls flat-out self sabotage the very thing they’re attracted to by trying to keep you in bed with them all day, sleeping in and just being a lazy slob in general. They will literally hold you back in moving forward because women have no sense of needing to move forward, EVER. Even the ones that are in shitty positions in life (no career, no skills, no goals) have this self entitlement complex that a man is going to save them – SOMEDAY. It’s why they sit around in the mornings and eat pancakes rather than get up and be productive.

Of course the irony shouldn’t be lost that the females that awake early on a Saturday morning…usually are nurturing mothers.

So now only must men deal with the burden of performance itself, but we must actively fight off women who want to drag us to levels of mediocrity with themselves.

Keep it up.

I’ve actually got the perfect example of this because I’m actually in a new relationship.


Hold your horses…it’s only been for about a month. And it’s with the caveat that I can sleep around if I please. I just haven’t gotten around to writing about it because I wanted to see the dynamic in action a bit before I started writing ‘how-to-do-this-yourself’ posts. But it’s worth mentioning for this post alone, and don’t worry – more harem content will be out soon due to very high demand.

Back to the topic at hand – women dragging you down.

Your Expectations of Women

…should never be as high as they are for yourself, or for another man. It’s just not the way life works. Expecting a women to work as hard as you, to contribute as much as you do, and generally – to be your equal – is simply going to set yourself up for disappointment both in the short and long term. I suspect there is a reason that men were the primary breadwinners and had much more power both from a domestic and political standpoint for so many years. It’s because women simply don’t contribute as much to society as a whole.

For example, if you’re reading this blog, you probably are working on some sort of business on the side so you can make extra money or escape the 9-5 jive.

How many of you have a girl that you’re dating who is doing the same?

Most likely, you’re either sitting in the same position with your hands by your sides, or you’re literally laughing out loud.

Most girls simply go home from their 9-5 hellhole and turn on the TV, killing their brain cells and souls by watching shit involving the Kardashians. The smart girls go to the gym, and spend time preparing their own meals to better themselves in that sense. However, I’ve yet to meet a girl who does the gym, meal prep, and everything else I do on a day-to-day basis to keep moving forward on the self improvement and freedom path. That usually involves the 9-5 gig, a minimum of 2-3 hours a work on side work (10+ a day on weekends), an hour workout, and I still make time for friends, dates, etc. The trick is that I know how to get by on little sleep, I minimize my commute and I don’t waste any time.

Most women just cannot handle what I do on a day-to-day basis. Are there exceptions? Of course, there always are. I should also note that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people need to be able to take a step back and relax in the world. It allows others to rise to the top.

What I am saying though is that if you expect the same from women as you do from yourself, you’re in for a long life.

Can They Recognize Difficulty of Work?

I’d like to use my own mother as an example, who was a stay at home mom for the majority of my life; or at least until my sister and I were both old enough that that we could be relatively self sufficient. She did some substitute teaching once in a while, but was always home when we returned from school for the day.

My dad always worked full time.

My mom always handled all meal preparation and cleaning. My dad never lifted a finger in this aspect, and rightfully so. He was having his soul sucked out of him every day so he could provide us with a good childhood; that included the stay at home mom care package. How incredibly selfish would it have been of her to ask him to work all day and then do menial tasks at night?


But most American women are that selfish these days. I have married friends who work tough jobs all day, while their wives have a cakewalk of a job. Yet the man still has to do the cooking when he comes home; else they would be eating takeout every night.

My mother was smart enough to realize, that no, her job of vacuuming, cooking, and generally just showering us with love was nowhere near as difficult as my dad’s job of engineering machines from the ground up, and dealing with all the office politics that came along with it. She recognized that she got a great deal.

Let’s use this example to circle back to our main point – women holding you back.

Women Will Drag You Down

I’m just going to quote parts of my comment at IM because it sums it up perfectly.

Think about every relationship you’ve ever had past the ~3 month stage. At the point where she is sleeping over and actually sticking around the next day. For most men this point is probably an exclusive relationship but mileage may vary.

Remembering that this woman is attracted to you from various measures: your health, your wealth, and your overall drive motivation, etc.

Does said woman continue you to support you in these goals? Does she encourage you to wake up at 6am on a Saturday to hit the gym, and then spend your day developing your new business or getting ahead in other ways of life?

I actually wrote this comment right after my girl left for the day…on Saturday.

I had wanted to go the gym at roughly 8am, and she said she wanted to join me. So of course we didn’t get there until about 9am. At the gym, as I worked through a brutal superset workout…what did she do?

Walked on the treadmill.

Oh, and she did two whole sets of planks with me at the end.

After we got back from the gym, she really wanted to go and get pancakes. And steak and eggs sounded like a good post-workout meal to me. I relented and went, and in Los Angeles, $30 is about the minimum you can spend on any meal for two. Finally, another hour and a half and $32.67 later, we were full and headed home. But she didn’t have work until 2pm – so of course she dicked around my apartment (of course, didn’t make herself useful and clean up my apartment or anything) until 1:15pm…and ended up being late to work anyway.

By the time she was gone and I settled into a working groove, it was 2pm and half the day was gone.

As you can see, my whole comment at Illimitable Men was very on-par with an experience I had just had earlier that day.

Find A Better Woman?

I hate to say it, but this is pretty typical of girls, at least in America. She is pleasant, hot, and otherwise great. And as I said, my expectations for women are in check. I do not expect them to adhere to the same rigorous standards that I do, so it’s hard to be “disappointed in her”. I’m sure there are girls out there that are better than what I’ve described above, but overall I would say this is far closer to the normal experience than anomaly.

Again, this girl is wildly into me because many factors. Success and drive being two among many.

But as you can see, she sure as hell isn’t doing anything to support those qualities. I suspect it changes when a family comes along – from what I hear from married friends, that’s when women start realizing the need for money and encouraging you to work longer hours. Gotta have that bigger house!

Instead, I have to actively fight her attempts to make me a lazy slob. Sometimes now, when she spends the night, she simply falls asleep on the couch at 11pm, whilst I continue working until 1am or so. Then I wake her up, fuck her, and go to sleep with her.

IM’s Burden of Performance

As a man, you are not only expected to maintain a high level of performance to ensure her continued attraction to you, but you must actively engage in the relationship to stop her attempts. A man’s mission should never be his woman, instead she should be a support to that mission. But with the continued downward spiral of the selfish nature of American women, it makes it a daunting task.

What women don’t realize is that all of the relaxing activities that they want to partake in (dinners, shopping, happy hours, Saturdays in bed), men actually would like to do, too. Sans shopping. But those activities come at a strong opportunity cost in that they prevent you from using precious time to move forward. As I’ve said before in The Pillars of Self Improvement, men are meant to build:

Some folks will tell you that as long as you’re “happy”, that’s all that matters. I respectfully disagree. Us men, we are meant to build something. It is not enough to sit idly by and just hope that things “fall into place”. It doesn’t matter what you build, so long as you are moving forward on the path.

What can you build?

Your body

A business



Among others, of course. The point is, you must constantly be moving forward.

Do you ever have those days where you just feel…down? Have you ever noticed that those days come around only when you do absolutely nothing? Even if you absolutely fail at your task or mission at hand, it doesn’t matter. That, “I’m a piece of shit,” feeling is only prevalent if you were just lazy about it. As a man, you are biologically wired to fail, pick yourself up, and then try again. It’s the reason we get rejected by women, it’s the reason we open businesses that tank (see: the first book I wrote and released on this blog), and it’s the reason we design engineering marvels that have problems.

It is better to have tried and failed miserably than to never try at all.

The fear of regret is real, and it’s awful. That is why you must always be on a constant path of self improvement.

Note the ‘absolutely nothing’ in bold above…

Women are content to do absolutely nothing.

A real man is not. It is the burden of performance that we shoulder, that will never go away. In olden times, women seemed to recognize this more and were more supportive and appreciative of your hard work ethic and desire to move forward in some capacity. In modern days, it seems women only want you to work hard when it gives them a direct benefit – otherwise, they’d rather you waste your precious time on them.

Ultimately, it all comes down to selfishness. They have no burden of performance, but they have all expectations.

I’m not saying it’s fair to us men. But it’s the cards that have been dealt to us. There is little we can do to except to recognize the situation for what it is and always continue moving forward for yourself.

Good luck.

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Leave a Reply

  1. This is pure gold. To put it bluntly, men want women who add value *to* our lives.

    Most Western women are interested only in drawing value *from* a man.

    The girl who wants the best *for you* is a keeper.

    1. I read it, and she said she was bored reading about how hard Kyle works to not just maintain but also to improve his life. Here’s a direct quote which is ironically pretty much self-indicative of the brain rot that has set in to American women’s minds: “Hell, just hearing about all this makes me tired. No, not tired. What’s that other word that’s sort of like tired? Bored.”

      Now, I don’t have to point out how assinine this witless comment is, or how selfishly egocentric one has to be to make such an empty-headed comment. But, since I’m feeling charitable today, I’ll give it a go.

      I don’t know wtf is going on in this person’s brain, but I can deduce its not empathy nor respect. Perhaps that’s due to a misunderstanding of the rather simple equation of time and effort multiplied equals achieved goals.

      Allow me to break it down for the American women who don’t understand the relationship between dedicated effort and positive results. See, when you have to choose between those totally legit baller heels that you’re sure will soothe your busted ass ego after reading this, or going out with Bailiee and Brittany and Barbie to that really hip bar (where the nice guys buy all your drinks).. Those nice guys have to choose between buying you drinks, or paying their inflated car payment on time this month. Now, we both know that you won’t bone those losers. Talk about a lot of effort that doesn’t pay! But, then comes along a guy who’s confident, successful, passionate and ambitious. He won’t buy you a drink. He’s hott! Now, let’s try real hard to focus and see if we can’t figure out how the loser can become this guy. Give up? I knew you would, because hey, I just know shit like that. I’ll tell you, if you can manage to focus long enough to read this without tweeting how awesome your new manicure is. Fwi stop ruining Pinterest #Wasteofspace. Anyway, the loser decided to stop putting women’s desires ahead of his own self development. He worked harder and more efficiently with his time management skills and hit the gym regularly. He also probably read a lot of websites’ articles like this one! *gasp* the horror (to quote your sarcasm).

      If that bores you, you don’t deserve to be with someone so hot and successfully boring. So go find someone interesting like that hip guy with the legit [insert hipster bs here] who’s taking another shot so he can ask you if he may kindly have the honor (ironically foreign concept to both of you) of buying you another round without his tampon falling out. Good luck with that!

        1. Thanks man. It comes from a place of respect bro. Ladies, that’s the part of you that gives a shit about another human, because they’re relatable and you like their character. Character isn’t just having a fav Kardashian. Character is… Ah fuck it.

  2. yeah exactly. Most of my friends got married right after they landed their job. This was when they graduated college. Some of these men who were fit, had active personality now when I look at them, they changed dramatically. It’s just surreal. This one guy told me he does all the cooking, cleaning the house after he comes from long days of office work and his wife does part time make shift government job and just watches reality shows on TV doing absolutely nothing. (similar to what is in this article). I want to shake the guy and just literally tell him that he is fucking up but the guy defends his wife to the core so it would probably fall on deaf ears. It’s just unbelievable how guys change so much after they get married (not so in good way).

  3. Hank Reardon’s Wife to Jim Taggart:
    She shrugged. “From the angle of a horsewoman, darling. If you had the most powerful horse in the world, you would keep it bridled down to the gait required to carry you in comfort, even though this meant the sacrifice of its full capacity, even though its top speed would never be seen and its great power would be wasted. You would do it— because if you let the horse go full blast, it would throw you off in no time.
    * Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

    Lillian to Dagny about Jim Taggert’s new wife:
    “Well, consider your sister-in-law, Miss Taggart. What chance did she have to rise in the world? None— by your exacting standards. She could not have made a successful career in business. She does not possess your unusual mind. Besides, men would have made it impossible for her. They would have found her too attractive. So she took advantage of the fact that men have standards which, unfortunately, are not as high as yours. She resorted to talents which, I’m sure, you despise. You have never cared to compete with us lesser women in the sole field of our ambition— in the achievement of power over men.”
    * Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

  4. * Women are relational, social beings first and foremost. That is the lens through which they see everything, including you. This is a fundamental difference between men and women.
    * Men have a functional utility to women that goes far beyond any functional utility women have to men….safety/security/provisioning. This is part of the performance burden. For them this is very emotional and instinctual and unconscious.
    * Women’s utility to men, the one that really matters, is purely emotional. If she makes you feel good, life is good. Sex is a huge part of this, not all of it, but a way bigger piece than it is for women.
    * Hence the truth in: “Women are the pragmatists pretending to be the romantics and men are the true romantics pretending to be pragmatists.”
    * She wont tell you how to be a man and she will focus on additional security and status once she feels comfortable she has you. You have two options, other than hell:
    * be someone who is a natural and organically ignores what their woman says for the most part, and does what they believe is right, consequences be dammed.
    * or know enough and gain enough genuine self-confidence to say no to what she asks for and demand of you, and instead give her what she actually needs. Which will, paradoxical as it may seem and in spite of her loud emotional fits, produce what is actually best for both of you. As a man that choice ours. She will not be a collaborative partner in this.
    * If this sounds a lot like “how to be a good parent”, that’s because it actually is very similar in this regard. You may be reluctant to think of her as childish and long for an equal and always collaborative partner, but choose wisely. What it really means is that you must be the leader.
    * The right woman and the right man together BOTH become capable of much more than they are individually. Women have a lot of wisdom and a ton to offer a man, and vise versa, through complimenting each other vs. competing with each other, but it is you the man who must own the frame and dictate how things will be, or they will be bad, very bad. One of the 16 Laws of Poon comes to mind here: “Don’t play by her rules. If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire.” It’s a harsh and illogical and confounding truth, but the truth it is. Step up.
    * Yes, women drag you toward mediocrity, but you get to choose your path. Only if you allow them to be the leader does it come into play, and if you do that, see the law above.
    * I learned this the hard way… Like most men these days who swallowed the blue bill that was shoved down our throat by our mothers and our weak fathers.

  5. Not all women, but most I’ve met – really don’t feel like they are in a relationship unless they can make their man depressed when they feel bad. Its a horrible thing, because guys just don’t need that or want someone to feel sad when they do. Often it’s not enough to comfort them they want the man to hurt deeply like they do. Like they do when going through menstruation or something. Like you are not a good man if you aren’t hurting like they are. I know being a women has many more issues than being a man, but why do women have to push this point on us… In irrational ways? And expect us to react rationally and strong? I am sorry if you go crazy on me, I just can’t trust you, how can I count on you for anything… And what is stopping you from going to the next guy when I don’t bend to your current crazy state of mind? What is there for a good man to hold onto? Nothing… Just crazy… Just bitchy women feelings… Even Christian women, I have met say and do one thing, but when they feel bad it all goes out the window. God is gone, discipline is gone, and you are left with a bitchy women. Guys are sick of this, that is why there is MGTOW men go there own way – because at least we can trust ourselves and god, we just cannot trust these fickle women. It’s a sane reaction to men being hurt when trying to connect with women. We have had enough… Any time women want to be reasonable we are here for them. But, we are not going to cater to your crazy moods, you need to be a reasonable woman most of the time, that we want to stick around for and support – a reasonable women.

  6. Lol at the ‘high performance’ stuff. You sound so full of yourself and your own ‘building’, it’s all about you. Work till 1AM and then wake ‘her’ to fuck her, then to bed… Wow, what a man. Also, you seem to make a big deal of being in the gym to maintain the desired physical selfimage, sounds rather pathetic. Small dicks and big muscles often go together – and why you toll away your brain isn’t getting filled up with anything, you know, there’s a reason sports people are typically dull as hell, they don’t have time for anything but their body.

    Anyways, I agree totally that women have a need to bring you down when you dream about what you wnat to do in life, when they feel that you are being ‘unrealistic’ according to their own plans and ideas, I have never understood why, but I’m not sure I got the answer here. There’s a real lack of emotional depth in the above text.

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