There’s a thread over on this forum that I’ve been following with a lot of interest, about a mid-20s male virgin who is struggling to get that monkey off his back. To quote from it:
“Maybe you know me from the forum, maybe you don’t… But this situation has been weighing on me for a long time. Being 20-30, it is troubling to me that I haven’t yet lost my virginity. And I’m closer to 25 than 20, by the way.
To be honest– and I try to be completely honest on this forum– is really hard. But I don’t lie to you guys. I don’t engage in P2P or anything like that. I am religious, and loosing my virginity never happened.
It is weighing heavily on me, and I try to be positive, but in our current society I feel like I have zero value as a 20+ yr virgin. I believe handily in the values of this forum, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do…”
I’ll spare you the back and forth, but I did end up chiming in on page three and have been part of the discussion since. But, I do one to really point this one very, very key detail out.
Things have changed.
The world is not how it was 50 years ago, and frankly, I’ve been harping that biology rules all for quite some time—as far back as 2013.
Which is why, when the original poster pointed out that he grew up somewhat religious, and wasn’t keen for his first time with a girl to be some one night stand, I had to speak up.
And, this poster wants to also go to Belgrade, Serbia—and hopes to get the monkey off his back while he’s abroad. I’m certainly an advocate of dating abroad, and would encourage any and every man fed up with the girls of the west to make that move. But at the same time, I’m also pretty sure it’s not a solution to his problem. If anything, it’s just unnecessary pressure.
Especially because Serbian women are notoriously difficult.
I responded and chimed in:
“I can and do understand this, but let me also point this out…it is an old school way of thinking and biology tends to not be so kind to those unwilling to “evolve”.
Times have changed. While a few years back this might have been seen as commendable in a girl’s eyes, it’s no longer the case, especially in America. We have “evolved”. People fuck just for the sake of fucking, not because they love someone.
Now, you can make the argument that it’s backwards progress and we haven’t really evolved at all, merely regressed. However, to that point, Mother Nature does not give a damn.
The current marketplace as it’s evolved has clearly spelled out that it wants you to have the opportunities to lose your virginity with a one night stand, or even as something as simple as swiping right on your smartphone.
However, if you look deeper.
Once you go through enough of these girls, then you can have a newfound appreciation for when the girl who is worthy of a LTR comes along. You can appreciate her for the qualities she brings to the table. And more so, you’re able to screen out and vet her because you’ve taken your lumps with the hoes of Tinder.
Because if you don’t get some practice with the promiscuous girls first, there’s simply no way you can have the tools in your arsenal to make and keep an LTR strong. Humans have evolved so that if you want to produce, you have to have game and be able to manage that aspect of the relationship. No longer can you count on womanly and familial morals to help keep those things together.
It is literally survival of the fittest.”
I mean, I was a pretty darn late bloomer myself.
This blog originally started because I’d finally gotten the monkey off my back, and was having some real success with women—and I simply wanted to document the journey. Sure, it’s evolved a lot from there, but at it’s very core, “Trouble” was all about breaking out of my own shell and seeing the world for what it was.
It troubled me.
In any case, I wish this guy the best of luck.
If I were him though, I’d just get some girl off Tinder and get ‘er done with.