Last updated: February 19, 2019

Western Dating—Let’s be Realistic

Dating Abroad, Women


A reader wrote in a while back in response to one of my daily emails, though I can’t for the life of me remember which one it was…

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Two observations:

1) Intellectually curious, well-read women definitely exist in NYC. By the tens of thousands. But the average guy probably isn’t going to date one. If he does, she’s likely promiscuous, intently “liberal,” highly career-oriented – or all of the above. You need a level of social connection or money in NYC to meet the more traditional, well-read girls that 95% of people just aren’t going to have. And, even if you get one, you are obviously in constant competition with models, celebrities, heirs, tycoons and wildly successful people in just about every field a girl could find attractive.

Then again, the average Ukrainian guy probably feels exactly the same way about Kiev. And, he has little or no chance of ever becoming you in Kiev.

2) Something in American culture perceives almost everything intellectual as “masculine” or “nerdy” – whereas Europe and especially cosmopolitan Russia don’t have this problem. Well-bred Russian girls consider being knowledgable about languages and literature every bit as important for being attractive as mastering ballet or staying thin. On average, a feminine, conservative but incredibly well-read American girl will try to hide from you how much she reads (if she finds you attractive). But many girls in Eastern Europe are actually raised to try and appear as well read as possible. I guess there’s a bit of BS on both sides but for me it’s a refreshing change for sure. When was the last time any guy went on a US Tinder date and the girl anything she read in a book.

If just for this reason, I would like to try living in Moscow and/or Petersburg the minute I can afford it. Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts.

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This is a perfect example when I mean that there are still some pretty good girls in America. But, unless you are one of the top guys (and even subjectively speaking, I’m not sure I’m quite there yet myself), you don’t even have the access.

It’s not even a matter of “Game”, confidence, or any other number of factors that you can control.

It’s just that you will literally never run into these girls unless you stumble upon one of them on the street by pure accident.

This is why:

  • They’re not on any form of online dating; why would they be when they have the best of the best men already available to them in their normal life
  • You sure as hell aren’t getting anywhere near to them in a nighttime scenario, they’re either at private McMansion parties or they’re tucked away in the VIP area of the nightclub
  • Even your chance of stumbling into them on the street is slim if they’re truly upper-class and take Uber Blacks everywhere


Guess I’m full of ’em today.

Realistic, Though…

And reality is most people are just not going to get there.

Coincidentally, if I had stayed in the corporate environment, I would have likely had a lesser chance of reaching this “upper tier”. So, while some people like to hate on me and say that, “Kyle couldn’t make it in America so he moved to Eastern Europe to easy-mode his way to the top”, the reality is that by doing that I also moved much closer to the top tier in the West, too.

To prove this, think about which one of these is more sexy:

  • My likely career path had I stayed in the corporate lifeA 27 year old senior computer engineer making $120,000 a year working 40 hours a week, 3 weeks of vacation, his boss’ bitch, with a career trajectory likely to cap out at $150,000
  • Or, my current life: A 27 year old world-traveled entrepreneur who runs a blog that gets millions of hits a year, owns an olive oil company, speaks [mediocre] Russian, has complete control over his schedule and makes more than the salaries listed in the last bullet.

Pretty clear.

It all boils down to this:

Become the best man you can.

And leverage it.

I’ll be talking much, much more about how you can become the ideal man and attract the ideal woman in The Girlfriend Blueprint, which will be presented on a webinar on 3/3/19.

Do you agree or disagree with my general sentiments in this post? Comment below, let me know.

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Leave a Reply

  1. There’s no getting away from the fact that when you’re over 40 your perspective on life and love is different from when you’re in your 20s, but what is it really like to date in your fifth decade?

  2. I agree with you. I think your post is pretty cool and its good to see someone in the dating game/life being honest. I was unaware that all those factors were present in dating women in New York. The cost of living there and in LA is already high and then you have to compete even when some of those chicks could be bums. I’m trying to get my life together so I can make more money and see the world for the women that are out there. But good article.

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