Last updated: May 14, 2014

Trouble’s Travels Volume XV: Back To The USA



  1. Prologue: Trouble Returns From Travels
  2. Volume I: Getting To Poland – 30 Hours Of Delays, Kissing-Ass, And Getting Drunk In Airports
  3. Volume II: The First Night In Poland, Selling Strip Club Tickets
  4. Volume III: Getting Yadstopped
  5. Volume IV: Where Is Alpha Dwarf?
  6. Volume V: The Wroclaw Dash
  7. Volume VI: “I-So-Would” Go To London
  8. Volume VII: The First Solo Dolo Day
  9. Volume VIII: To The Top
  10. Volume XI: Barcelona, First Of The Worst
  11. Volume X: Get Me Outta Barcelona!
  12. Volume XI: All Roads Lead To Rome
  13. Volume XII: Where Gladiators Fought
  14. Volume XIII: Absinthe Is Trouble
  15. Volume XIV: Goodbye, Europe

I had a long journey to get to New York City from Prague.  First, I caught a flight from Prague to Brussels, Belgium.  I then hopped a flight to Geneva, Switzerland, and finally got going on my trans-Atlantic flight to JFK.  Switzerland is expensive as balls – a bottle of water and a pen cost me eighteen dollars.  I mean, I get that it’s an airport, but that is incredibly expensive.  I flew an Airbus 330 back, which was glorious compared to the cramped inter-Europe flights I’d been shuttling around on for the past couple of weeks.

Airbus 330
Airbus 330
Switzerland from the air.
Switzerland from the air.

New York City Day 1

Holly landed in New York before I did.  I had told her to find where my flight was coming in to, find the closest AirTram exit to that terminal, and then meet me outside of customs.  Once I landed, she informed me she was already on the AirTram heading towards the subway transfer station.

Damnit woman!
Damnit woman!

Fortunately it wasn’t difficult for her to get back.  I breezed through customs, glad to finally be the traveler in my home company and not have to deal with all the bullshit of being a foreigner.  I was greeted by my girlfriend right outside customs, and then I got a look at the fucking suitcase she brought.

Jesus Christ, is she moving here?

That was my first thought, as her suitcase was heavier (she had to remove things at LAX to get it <50 pounds), and significantly bigger than mine.  And she was coming for four days to New York, whilst I had been in Europe for two weeks.

Damnit, woman.  Of course, escalators are not common in NYC like they are on the Tube in London, and frankly, elevators are not exactly easy to find, either.  Holly can’t lift either my suitcase or hers – so here I am, walking up flights of stairs in subway stations with a fifty pound suitcase in both of my hands.  I will admit, my patience coming in, and leaving, NYC was pushed to the limits because of this.  It was also pushed to its limits in other ways, too – but that will be covered in the next post.

The first night, knowing I was going to be up for over 24 hours again, Holly booked a river cruise on Groupon.  We walked the two miles to the ferry port and boarded.  We got some spectacular views of the Manhattan skyline (breathtaking), as well as the Statue of Liberty (not as cool as I thought).

The skyline.
The skyline.
Lady Liberty
Lady Liberty

New York City Day 2

We got up the next day and I headed out to Times Square to check on some Broadway ticket prices (my sleep patterns were completely fucked, to say the least).  I personally wasn’t keen to pay see a Broadway play, but since the girl offered to pay, I was all for it.  After getting some breakfast pizza, we hopped on a tour bus.  $125 got us three days on the bus as well as admission to three venues of our choice – we chose Top Of The Rock, Empire State Building, and the Madame Tussauds Wax Muesuem.  Honestly, it sounds cliche, but the tour buses I took were some of the best value I got out of the trip.  I’d highly recommend them, again.

I didn’t take many pictures on the tour.  Holly took close to 1,000 photos in New York, which is 2/3 of the total amount I took on my entire trip.  Damnit, woman.  In any case, I still haven’t bothered to download them all of her computer to my own, so I don’t have a zillion photos to share of our first day bus tour.  But hell, you guys have seen enough photos of my trip overall, anyways.  But, we did see every major landmark in the lower half of Manhattan, as well as get a decent view of all of the neighborhoods.

After that, we headed out to a nice dinner and saw Chicago on Broadway.  I can’t say I loved it, but I wouldn’t say I hated it, either.  It was a cool experience to at least see a Broadway play while in New York City.  However, when I move there, I’m certainly not going to be the guy frequenting Broadway plays because I’m some cultured snob.  One Broadway play in my life is probably enough.

Except maybe Lion King or Aladdin.  Two of my all-time favorites.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the 17th and final edition of Trouble’s Travels.  I’m going to go through my last two days in New York with the girlfriend, including meeting up with fellow ROK writer Law Dogger and a Yankees/Red Sox game.

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