Well fellas, this is it. My final Munday in the life of the Corporate America dream
hellhole has come and gone.
Wish I could say I was sorry.
And I can hardly count it as a true Munday because I basically told work to shove it last week while I worked from the comfort of my home.
And it feels good.
It’s hard to imagine that this came to fruition so quickly, and I don’t meet to toot my own horn here – but if I can do it, so you can you. Why? Because look at what I used to look like.
Seriously, look at that guy on the left. Does he look like he’s ready to tackle life?
Then look at this little dork back in 2010.
He looks happy as a clam to be on a cruise with his girlfriend, getting his wiener touched consistently for the first time in his life.
How about the guy on the right.
I don’t even think he looks ready to tackle things. His eyes are baggy from ten days in a row of binge drinking until 5 or 6 in the morning. He looks happy as hell to just be on vacation, away from the jail cell that is cubicle imprisonment. He’s just happy to be free, no matter how temporary it might be. The ten days of drinking the sorrows away is all he cares about.
But enough about those guys.
How about the guy writing this right now? Me.
I don’t have a picture to show right now, because I’ve been up since 7am this morning. I went to bed at about 2:30am last night. I was also up at 6:45am the day before. Oh, and I haven’t showered. I haven’t changed clothes. I have barely moved from my standing desk today.
(Editor’s note: this was written near the end of the day Monday and is being published Wednesday morning.)
All I’m doing is obsessing.
Because walking away from the life of being shackled to a death does funny things to a man. All of a sudden, the entire life path of college -> marriage -> 401k -> white picket fence -> kids -> retire -> die has been shattered into a million pieces.
All of a sudden, that path now has a hundred of different ways to go. It’s full of zig-zags, mazes, and loopty-loops, whereas the old path was a straight line with a straight path into a dirt wall (being buried six feet under).
Is it overwhelming?
But fuck, I have never been so excited for anything in my life. It’s akin to being cured of colorblindness. Unplugged. Prior to quitting, everything was simply in dull shades of grey and white. But now, life has a new lenses, full of vivid colors and lights.
I did work out today, and did walk outside of the house. I walked to the pool, where I plumped my laptop on my table and watched the sunset go down as I did some minor editing on some future posts. There was no looking at the clock, no watching to see when my boss left, no Alt-Tabbing out of YouTube videos that are necessary to pass the time…none of it.
There will never be another Sunday night of dreading the Munday morning. No more days of shuffling my feet as I open the door to the office, with my shoulders drooped down and my balls checked in to the Human Resources department upstairs (run by incompetent liberal arts degree majors).
Never again will I return to the Munday.
I’m ready for trouble.