Last updated: October 1, 2019

6 Things I Learned About Dating Spanish Girls in Madrid

Dating Abroad


Kyle here. This post about Madrid and Spanish girls is a guest post by Alex at the “Forever Alpha Blog”. To check out his site, hit up the link at the bottom of this post.

You’re at a bar, and a stunning brunette walks in. She’s got the big, brown eyes, gorgeous thick lips, all complemented by perfect, smooth olive skin. You catch her glance at you – leaning back up against the bar top, beer in hand. Her eyes quickly dart downwards and back up, sizing you up like a piece of meat.

She smiles.

You sense an opportunity.

You wonder what it would be like to add a Latina to your harem. How would you do so without any problems? Let me tell you.

My Harem-Building With Spanish Girls

I’ve built a few harems in the past, and have had a serious amount of success, and a serious amount of fun in the process. I’m from the UK, and have therefore had the most amount of harem experience here. But I also lived in Madrid for four months and I will share my experiences there with you.

If you’re going to Spain expecting to have a roster of super-submissive little Spanish girls, you will likely be disappointed. Spain, like the rest of the West, is populated largely by dominant women. When I say dominant, I mean their general attitude towards men is one of entitlement, and they’re generally demanding and ungrateful. This is a generalisation though. You will still find a decent amount of Submissives if you put in the numbers.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the past few years is this:

All women will submit to you if they deem you to be high value enough.

This is true of Dominants as well as Submissives. It’s just that the bar is set higher for Dominants. You will have to be far higher in overall value in a Western country than in a country consisting primarily of Submissives. So although all women will submit to you if you’re good enough at this, it makes your life more difficult and it’s a pain in the ass if the girls where you live are mainly Dominants.

Submissives are happy being submissive, Dominants have been conditioned by Western society to be dominant, demanding and bitchy, which makes their relationships with all men worse. Just be aware of this going into dating Spanish girls.

It’s the same as the UK, the US and all Westernized countries.

Therefore, the big four values still hold true, and you will need to rank very highly in at least two of them to successfully build a quality harem in Madrid, like you will in any Westernized country:

  1. Looks
  2. Dominance
  3. Non-compliance
  4. Status/social proof

Lessons From Spanish Girls

Where Spanish women are different to the majority of Western women, is the exterior. They are hot.

The majority are brunettes, as you would expect, but there are also some blondes too. I found that their skin was a lot nicer than most Western women; both colour and texture. They also talk a lot, which makes your life easier as a man. Trust me, most men screw up during the Dating Phase because they talk too much. When a woman does 80%+ of the talking, your chances of having sex with her go way up. It makes her more comfortable and it stops you from setting off her alarm bells.

If you’re an enormous, hyper-emotional extrovert, this may be irritating to you. But I would encourage you to remind yourself that the goal is not a competition to see who can talk the most. Your goal is to have sex with her. And if it’s any consolation, I find dating to be a pain. I would much rather get to the good stuff. But it’s a necessary pain.

Here’s what I learned:

Lesson #1 – Night Game Is The Best Way To Get Laid In Madrid

There’s some important caveats to this though. A huge amount of my success in the past has come from Tinder, and I stand by Tinder as being very effective in large cities if you’re a good-looking guy and are maximising your sex appeal.

But as a foreigner, you will probably find night game is more effective in Madrid. A large part of this is due to there being a language barrier. If you speak really good Spanish, then it may be different. But for guys who don’t have high levels of Spanish, clubs actually reverse the typical communication problem of not being able to hear each other talk – it actually plays to your advantage. If she finds you physically attractive enough, you can dance with her, kiss-close and then get her immediately back to yours without saying a word.

Tinder requires a conversation, and I found that girls in Madrid had horrendous levels of English. Furthermore, they were also under-confident with their English and a lot were therefore unwilling to meet. In clubs, women are more confident due to alcohol so you don’t have this problem.

Let me emphasize though that this is just Madrid, and I’m almost certain that you won’t have the same language problems with Spanish women on the Costa del Sol, for example.

Lesson #2 – DO NOT Screw Up Logistics

Because I didn’t really know Madrid particularly well, I ended up going on a lot of dates (primarily from Tinder, some from night game after getting numbers but no sex) that led nowhere, both literally and sexually. I normally have a pretty good sense of direction but completely screwed it up on more than one occasion. This is interpreted by women as a lack of self-confidence even if it’s the furthest thing from the truth (which in my case, it is).

Plan out each date – make sure you know exactly where you’re going, exactly when you’re going to get there, and exactly how you’re going to get there. Sounds like really simple stuff, but you’ve got to give it extra thought when in a big, foreign city, and you don’t have unlimited internet there and unlimited access to Google Maps.

Lesson #3 – Play Up The Sexy Foreigner Effect

A lot of guys will agree with me on this – when you do actually go out on dates with the few Madrid women who will speak half-decent English, play up the sexy, mysterious foreigner. If you’ve got blonde hair and blue eyes, this will come easier, as it instantly differentiates you from 95%+ of Spanish men. But the foreign accent and overall attitude should be enough.

All of this basically means that her ASD will be lower and you will have sex with her faster. It puts her into “vacation mode”, and she rationalizes her highly sexual and easy-to-get behaviour as being “okay” (in her ASD-riddled mind) because this sexy foreigner guy isn’t a part of her normal life.

Weird, but true.

Adding to this, Spanish girls will make this easier for you just being how they are…

Lesson #4 – Spanish Women Talk A LOT

This makes it ridiculously easy to keep the mysterious sexy foreigner appeal going for as long as possible. It doesn’t last forever, but keeping a woman talking for most of the time you spend together not only makes her more comfortable (and lowers her ASD), but it also keeps you more mysterious and more unknown.

It’s in incredibly attractive power to have, and is guaranteed to have her treating you like a king – sexually, affectionately and she will also tell her friends all about you, which can open up more doors 😉

Lesson #5 – Prepare For The Greatest Cockblock Of Madrid – Language Barriers

To expand on my previous points, you will not maximise your true potential in Madrid with Latinas if you don’t speak decent Spanish. There are plenty of British and American women there, like in most Western capitals. But seeing as we want Latinas, we need some level of Spanish speaking skills.

Learning Spanish is not easy, but it’s do-able, and I highly recommend it if you want to have an outrageously successful and sex-filled adventure in Madrid.

spanish girls

Lesson #6 – Maximise Your Charm

Despite being “The Sexy Foreigner”, on dates you still need to ensure you’re maximising your charm. You still need to:

  • Ask good questions
  • Display genuine warmth
  • Show genuine interest in her life (even if it’s a bit dead)
  • Kino her
  • Tease her
  • Not be too much of a player – remember these are primarily dominant women, both entitled and delusional when it comes to the sex and commitment (commitment before sex and all of that nonsense).

Remember that if you’re young, good-looking, and confident, and come across as too much of a player, they start thinking…

“What if he thinks I’m just another slut? OMG but I’m a LADY! Oh dear I can’t see him again…”

…blah blah, societal conditioning blah blah. So you want to avoid this, and being charming will do this for you.

There you go – 6 lessons I learned from harem-building in Madrid. Learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to. If you are going down to the south coast of Spain, I suspect you may find it a little easier, as I believe that the language barrier was the biggest obstacle to overcome. Not an issue for ONS’s, but for continuous sex, you need to actually be able to communicate, obviously.

Maximising your fitness and your sex appeal is very important if you want to build the best harem that you can, whichever country you’re in. To learn how to maximise your looks and your sex appeal for women, read this article:

Why Women Can’t Help But Love A Great Physique.


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  1. In my experience Madrid was the easiest city to get laid by far.

    You need to speak Spanish though, otherwise women will avoid you

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