Four years ago, when I started college, I took it upon myself to make all sorts of girl friends. Note the space in between girl and friends. As in, platonic, non-sexual girl friends. You know, just what every guy wants. As the last couple of years of gone by and I’ve greatly improved the female-relationship part of my life (i.e. I have girlfriends), I have come to understand much better how the male-female relationship dynamic works. I’m going to let a huge secret out of the bag here, brace yourself. If you are a college girl, listen up.
Guys care about looks. A lot.
There you go! Huge shock, I know. However, with that being said, the platonic female friends who I have kept as close friends over these last four years (despite most of them greatly disapproving of my lifestyle these days), I truly do care for. And, whether they believe it or not, I have little-to-no sexual interest and would love nothing more than to see them be able to land a good guy who made them happy.
Here is my advice for my (admittedly) sexy college girls friends whom I love dearly as my friends; but would probably bang if given the chance.
There is no better time for you right now to land a strong, good man and marry him. You will never be more young and beautiful than you are now. You will only get uglier, older, and likely, more bitter towards the world.
Yes, that’s awfully harsh, but it’s the exact opposite of what guys usually say, because they’re spineless wimps (they’ll say, “no, you’ll ALWAYS be beautiful to me.”). Keep in mind that I did say a strong, good man. Sure, you can snare a boring accountant when you’re 35 or 40 who will be one of those typical “yes dears”. Sex with him will be boring and passionless (dominance is much hotter) and you’ll quite literally wear the pants around the house, perhaps even keep his testicles hanging as a chandelier in your living room. If you’re okay with that, then by all means, continue fucking lots of guys and working on your career as a social worker/HR slave/starving artist/insert other worthless career (at this point I’m just generalizing America).
If though, you want your real fairytale-bullshit-Hollywood-scripted Prince Charming, listen to me. If you want a strong, alpha man who turns you on and is loyal to you, heed this advice. I had this talk with my little sister who is 18 and going to college this fall. I told her not to sleep with too many guys and to try to find the best guy she could while she was in her prime years (18-25). After that, it is DOWNHILL. Accept this, and I’ll be the first to tell you, it’s NOT fair. Girls have it great from 18-30, guys have it good after that. Girls get older, uglier, and more wrinkly, whilst guys can keep themselves in shape, accumulate wealth, travel experiences, fuck more and more girls, and generally become more sexy. Look at Brad Pitt and George Clooney. They’re swimming in women. Then look at Jennifer Aniston, who, while still beautiful, I suspect is so bitter at this point in her life that she will never hold anyone down (though I’d love a suga mama, call me beautiful).
For guys, it’s probably 80% about looks. I’ve tolerated a lot of bullshit because I had someone beautiful. Dancers, bi-polar alcoholics…etc. It’s amazing what I put up with in hindsight, and most guys are the same. After this, what matters is your femininity and softness. Most guys don’t give a shit that you make $45,000 at your boring ass HR job where you file paperwork and answer the phone.
STOP drinking so much, STOP making out with guys like me in clubs within 5 seconds of meeting, STOP putting off exercise “until I’m fat,” and for the love of God, STOP wearing sweatpants/hoodies/sunglasses/flip flops/Toms/stupid baggy T-shirts with stupid slogans everywhere (reminder: guys care about looks, and that look is not sexy). DO learn to cook, be sweet, and keep yourself in shape, and you will have good, strong men who want to wife you up.
I know everything you said is totally true, but I’m still pissed. I mean, how many women today really want to be sweet little defenseless housewives with nothing to show for their life but a super macho husband? Fuck that! I’m not going to sit around and wait for the world to change, I’m going to do everything I can to prove that women can have careers that mean something!
But, I know you said “if you want your real fairytale bullshit.” Which I will continue to say, doesn’t exist.
Your posts make me want to rant about things; sorry!
I want to be a sweet little defenseless housewife, and I follow these rules in my daily life as tightly as I can. I’m almost 23 years old and I would like to get married to a strong, dependable man who honestly wants to be with me because I can satisfy his desires to be with a woman who ACTS like a woman worth keeping. To each their own, but don’t go whining about it later in life when “all the good men” won’t look at you.
Whoaaaaa! A real woman?! Is that what I see here?
Well excuse me for having an opinion that’s not controlled by a man! If you can be happy living your life specifically so that someone will want you, good for you.
I’m happy living my life the way I want to, because I don’t NEED a man to complete me. Also, tanks for the assumption that I’m “not a woman worth keeping” simply because I don’t choose to subscribe to a value system that bases my worth as a human being solely on what I look like.
As it happens, I grew up cleaning houses professionally with my mom, I’m a great cook, and I can rock 6-inch heels, evening gowns, flip flops, or sundresses and still look sexy.. Having an opinion about the way women are constantly subjected to men’s desires does not make me less worthy as a woman.
I also happen to be happily dating the best man in the world, who also wants me to be my own person.
And it’s super cute that you’re “almost 23 years old.” I’m so glad I know that. If you just said 22, I would have, like, had no idea how old you, like, actually are.
Hah! That’s a good reaction to promote, it gets people talking 😉
“I mean, how many women today really want to be sweet little defenseless housewives”
I’ll be delving more into feminism in future posts, but I firmly believe that the ideas that feminism passes that women SHOULD want and what ACTUALLY makes women happy is completely backwards. Let’s think back to “caveman” years — the man hunted, provided, and protected. The woman cooked, cleaned, and raised the family. So biologically…that seems to be what makes women happy. For proof of this, look at how divorce rate and feminism rates have risen in harmony together. I fully support women’s rights (vote, pay, etc), but do not support feminism, which I believe is women wanting to take the role of men in lives.
Honey, you have no perspective. I understand, this blog makes me shudder to think what I may have written when I was your age. I hope you find the sweet girl of your dreams. You have given it much air time in your thoughts.
No perspective in regards to what?
Like I’ve always said: if she acts like everything revolves around the pussy, I’ll take it; but I won’t be committing.
Exactly. Admittedly, this is something I need to work on…see the latest “one-itis” post.
Just reading the comments, this thought comes into my mind:
The female rationalization mind is an amazing yet scary weapon they wield, even if they do not realize it.
Good article, though it will fall to deaf ears due to the fact that it’s a logical post.
Sadly, yes. My sister has read this though and hopefully it has not fallen deaf to her (she’s 18).
Girls think I’m crazy when I tell them to lock in a good looking man early. Not kidding at all.
Jeremy has told me the exact same things before. It was hard to hear the first time but since he’s fed me my red pill I instantly realized he was right (and so are you). Still something I think about often. 2014 will be the year I decide what I want for my future life – wifey up and be a perfect little housewife, or have fun and freedom with a less secure future.
Good post. More women need to internalize this
I think the funniest part is that this is actually the first post I EVER wrote on this site.
I was a genius back then, too 😉
I tend to disagree with some red pill thinking that a girl NEEDS to take advantage of her SMV at 18-22. I DO think it gives the best chance and the most options.
However, if girls like you and Holly take until your mid-20s to decide, and take care of yourself, there’s no reason you won’t take close to full advantage of your SMV. This means decide by mid-20s, and start looking by then, settling down just before 30.
After 30 to start looking? Good luck.
Yeah you were! This must be one of the first things you realize after assessing the pool of women out there haha. I agree that there is some variation, depending on the girl – I personally have always been a late bloomer – or perhaps waiting for the right man to train me haha.
I would have been infinitely unhappy if I hadn’t had this chapter of my life and I had sprung into an early marriage – didn’t know what I would want or what to look for in a potential serious relationship before Jeremy.
I realize now more than ever that I have a lurking time clock, but like you said, it’s relative. Yes, in a year or so I’ll be over the average “prime,” but I’ll be just reaching my personal prime. It’s important for each individual girl to realize what this information means to her… and not complain when she wants to have 10 more years of laziness, career building, “independence”, or slutty fun, but good men won’t kneel on the ground to slide a ring onto her old ass finger. Haha too much?
I started reading ROK over the past two months, and I honestly have found much of your writing and that of other contributors to be very insightful. This was my first time checking out your personal blog and as a young lady starting college in the fall I’ve really enjoyed the pieces you have written to your sister and college aged female friends. Thank you for your writing and the clarity it provides when it comes to young women of our generation!
Thanks, Ariana. I appreciate the kind words. Don’t hesitate to email me if you ever find yourself in need of advice.
Yes it is really true words