I’ve met a lot of fantastic people through this blog since I began writing it in July of 2013. A good friend of mine who I’ve traveled with on multiple occasions agreed to sit down with me and answer some questions about Russian girls, Russian culture, and other travel tips.
Here are his thoughts.
QUESTION FROM KYLE:
I’ve known you for several years now, and we’ve been around the world a bit. You’ve spent considerable time in Russia and I’ve heard your stories with the Russian girls. Could you elaborate a bit on where you’ve been in the Motherland, how long your trips were, and…well, why you decided to keep going back?
For some reason, as long as I can remember I’ve always been fascinated with Russia. So when an opportunity came to go with a friend on a tour that went through Russia, I jumped at the chance. Even though I was in a relationship and my concept of “game” was basically nonexistent, those few days in Russia essentially changed my life.
I saw what real women can be like, and it went from there.
I came back again a few years later, and it just kept on progressing.
I love Moscow, but I’ve been to several other cities as well spanning both coasts and in between as well. From what I can remember the longest stint I did was about six weeks consecutively.
In a word, inimitable.
First I’ll preface this by saying that similar to any other grouping of any sort of people—here women—they were will always be outliers. But overall, there is this raw nature to Russian women that I have not found elsewhere, even in neighboring Ukraine.
I can write several paragraphs on this, but in general they are very passionate, very intelligent and very quick to sniff out incongruity.
And of course, beautiful for the most part.
Frankly there is no best way.
For me it was at bars and clubs but I know many people that have met them in the daytime or online as well.
Do you see a big difference in the attitude and quality of the “village girls” versus the Moscow and St. Petersburg ladies?
Nope, not at all.
You have to remember that most girls come to Moscow from outside that city—unlike their American counterparts, they do not fall into a sex and the city mindset. The traditionalist mindset permeates throughout the Motherland.
The one difference I do see is just in the day to day life in Moscow versus outside of it.
Moscow is not “real Russia”, even though it maintains a lot of it’s traditional aspects.
KYLE: From my own experience, and also as shown in Ukraine—the Former Soviet Union girls are ruthless. Try to kiss them 50 times and then on attempt #51 the magic happens. Any theories as to why this is?
They respect an actual man and want to see that you are willing to put in effort for them (one) and are also not afraid of rejection and have thick skin (two).
It gets tiring and annoying at times, but this is the Russian dating culture.
Any advice on how to accelerate the dating process a bit for those who don’t have the ability to take the longer trips? I know many of us have used flowers to great success…
Or if you have a more traditional/non-drinker Russian lady (which there are a lot of), see them everyday in the afternoon to build up some face time, and save your nights for other girls.
Go on walks, and bring flowers (yes this works).
However, there is no real shortcut.
Generally speaking, what’s the best way to go about dating Russian girls? Do you find it’s a culture that values relationships and therefore they’re unlikely to have a one night stand?
Well you are asking me about two different things, so I’ll answer each in turn. Treat them as you would a mob boss in the 1950s.
Treat them well, you pay for everything, and you don’t take any shit. They understand the dating culture and the interaction (and roles) of men vs. women. You need to understand that, too.
To answer your second question, like anywhere else there are girls that will fuck you on the first night.
Let’s talk about the Russian language. How good are you and how necessary is it?
I’m decent, but I wouldn’t even say conversational. You have to spend a lot of time to get to conversational. As for how necessary it is, it depends on which Russian women you’re targeting.
If you want to crack that higher quality girl, that is also not a pro/gold-digger, you will need some language skills. And if you are thinking of getting a long-term Russian girlfriend, language becomes even more important as you try to forge a common ground and bond going forward.
UPDATE October 2019, Learning Russian
I’ve now been studying Russian 2-3x a week – with a professional teacher at a language school, for a year, and I’d say I’m barely scratching the surface of being conversational. I’m able to read just fine, and understand quite a bit, but actually speaking is incredibly difficult. I can speak a bit of “caveman” Russian, but I honestly reckon it will be years before I’m able to get all of the tenses, cases, and conjugations on a fluent level.
Basically, learning some basic phrases and sentences will take you reasonably far with both the women and your day-to-day life, but being able to actually “date in Russian” is a multi-year process that most people should not bother undertaking.
Russian Pod 101 is the best online tool, but nothing is going to replace actually going to class with an actual teacher.
What cities would you recommend and not recommend for men traveling?
Moscow if you know zero Russian. Moscow if you know some Russian.
If you are going to venture to the other Russian cities, it will be fun and an experience but I would get some experience first in either Moscow or St. Petersburg.
What are the general prices of going out at night in a major metropolitan like Moscow? What about if you venture out to other cities in Russia?
With the devaluation of the Ruble prices are similar to going out in Los Angeles. Cheaper than New York but still on par with a major city. There was a small dip outside Moscow but nothing drastic.
This will not be a budget destination.
Moscow vs. St. Petersburg—which one and why?
I personally like Moscow better. I am not a fan of museums or architecture. I also believe Moscow has much better looking women by a long shot.
What is your craziest story with Russian ladies?
I’ll tell you about a non-sexual one. It was leaving a club at 6am with my buddy and trying to find some food to eat. We ran into two girls at some street food stand who then invited us to their apartment.
Little did we know it was over an hour away by foot, through railroad tracks and grassland in a random Russian city.
When we finally arrived, we were so tired neither of us even tried to have sex.
One girl grabbed a guitar and sang her heart out to us, while the other took a quick nap until the grocery stores opened to go buy groceries to make us breakfast.
What is your best heart-warming (i.e. real nice display of feminine qualities) that you had with Russian women?
There’s almost too many to pick from.
If I had to choose, it would be a story with one of the most attractive girls I had been with—who not so coincidentally did not speak a word of English—brought me a small present for my birthday even though we had only seen each other a few times.
She knew I was leaving and wanted to give me something to have that I could remember her with.
Updated October 2019
Kyle here now, in 2019 (this article was originally published back in 2016), and I want to talk about one specific thing that my friend briefly mentioned. Flowers.
I’ve now been living out here in Eastern Europe for over three years…and for a long time, I was pretty averse to buying flowers for a girl. Couldn’t really tell you why, it was just an “icky” thing that I hated doing. Likely because, in America, it’s just a sign of weakness. Women demand them, they don’t appreciate them, and they’re seen as a way to beg for forgiveness and say, “I’m sorry…”
You know what I mean?
Nobody wants to be the bumbling-Dad-bod guy who only shows up with flowers so his wife can castrate him further.
Basically, what I’m saying is, this took me a long time (i.e. years) to fully understand…
So, yes, you can absolutely buy girls in Eastern Europe flowers. It won’t hurt you, either. Because real women like to feel real femininity coursing through their veins…and flowers do exactly that. Yeah, flowers are still kind of stupid and pointless on paper (they look nice for a day or two and then just die), but for some reason, it really presses buttons, in a good way.
That’s the best explanation I have.
It’s just such a different world out here…you really just have to get here to understand it.
While I still haven’t been to Russia myself, there’s a large group of expats that come here to Kiev, Ukraine for the summer. Including one friend who has family and has lived on and off in Moscow for many years.
In his words, Moscow is just a tough city to live in at times. He thinks Kiev is just a little bit more livable, mostly from the perspective that Moscow is just so big—people live everywhere. You try to get five people together and they come from five different parts of the city, whereas in Kiev, most of us who are expats are all in one very central area.
Granted, that is not the case for locals in Kiev who may live in different districts and need to travel to a central meeting point.
He also believes that overall, Kiev is a bit more Western, less intimidating, and the people seem a little bit happier (it’s worth noting he speaks fluent Russian).
He also thinks the Moscow women are just touch more calculating and demanding than the Ukranian women, but also hotter.
Food for thought.
Obviously, a huge thank you to my friend for taking the time to answer these questions. I know Russia is on the eyes of many of us digital nomads—both from a girl perspective, and simple traditional values. Many of us yearn for that kind of environment where men can be men and women can be women.
And both can be happy doing that.
PS: If you want to meet the ladies of Russia, start with this site.