Kyle,
I love your blog because I find your story very similar to my own.
I was a nerd in high school wasting my time with WoW, CS, and Guild Wars. (Kyle’s note: read this for my story about video game addiction)
In college I turned things around a little bit, and I had limited success with girls and had 3 girlfriends.
I discovered your blog from your post – Red Pill Roundtable: Date Strategies, through a Google search after a string of failed first dates.
My favorite blog posts of yours:
- The Questions Game
- Getting The First Date Bang: Volume 1, The Setup
- Red Pill Roundtable: Date Strategies
- 40 Thoughts on Online Dating
Your blog has inspired to me to take massive action in regards to girls and learning game.
Thanks to your blog I have doubled the number of girls I have had sex with in just a few months!
Furthermore, my harem has grown to three girls! They are 18, 19, and 24 years old.
My typical Saturday and Sunday involves me going to the gym, going on 2-3 dates, and then spending the evening with one of the aforementioned girls at my place.
Life is going pretty good right now, but I have a couple of problems:
Flakes – My flake percentage seems really high, roughly 50% of the time a girl will flake on a first date. Due to flaking I try to setup 2 dates for weekdays and 3-4 dates for Saturdays and Sundays. My closing percentages for dates seem alright. This week for dates – 100% of girls back to my apartment, 75% naked, 50% banged. I am not sure what good numbers would be, and I don’t have anyone to compare with since I work as a mechanical engineer and most of the guys I work with are losers. Which brings me to point #2.
Social Group / Male Friends – I relocated to the <redacted> area after graduation to work as an engineer at <redacted>, and I am struggling to find cool male friends. When I asked the other twenty year old guys in my department what the best bars and clubs were, 80% of them told me they don’t go out. Furthermore, most of them look terrible, none of them workout or put effort into their appearance. It would be nice to have a couple of cool guy friends to push each other in terms of girls, fitness, money, and lifestyle.
-J
My Response
J,
Thanks so much for your email man. Stuff like this is so inspiring. Do you mind if I post this email publicly on the blog; of course I will remove all information that is personal to you. Let me know.
Secondly, for your questions.
1.) Flakes – 50% is a little bit high for a first date flake…how are you meeting these girls? If online, I think the book will help you a lot in that aspect. It is very much a system designed to take you from opening message to having sex with her. Other than that, the first thing I’d investigate is how often you’re staying in touch with them. If you meet them on Saturday, for example, and text them Sunday to set up a date for Thursday…are you contacting her between there? 4 days is a long time for total silence. Try pinging her with light hearted stuff in between. i could actually write a long post about this and might actually do it.
BUT, the 100/75/50% are VERY good. Getting a new lay every other date is excellent odds. Don’t worry about bringing that up too much, but try to pinpoint if there is a common theme going on that you think is stopping the other 50% from having sex with you. Are they saying no at the last minute? Work on getting those last minute resistance skills up. Are they feeling slutty? Give them a reason not to – i.e. instead of saying “come hang out at my apartment” say “come check out my vacation photos”, etc. Give her a plausible reason so she can say “sex just happened”.
2.) Friends – This is gonna be a tough one because from what i hear…<redacted> is a pretty small place. Best advice I can give is to go check out the Roosh V forum and see if there are any members in the area. Just do a search for ‘datasheets’ or ‘meetups’. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll find some guys there.
The other best advice? Comment on blogs like mine. You wouldn’t believe how many friends I’ve made who are very like minded, and I’ve met them in person now too. Some of them have become great, lifelong friends who I’ve traveled with and had some great experiences. Leave comments and use them as support groups. I respond to every single comment on my site so you know people will help motivate you and hold you accountable there.
Thanks again!
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How to meet male friends:
If you have one in your area Join an MMA or a BJJ dojo. They’re 90% male and usually pretty cool guys.
The city he gave me is pretty tiny, it might be hard to find one.
Great suggestion though.