PUA text game has been steeped in tradition for many years now. Short and aloof answers. Statements, not questions. No emojis. Most of you know what I am talking about.
However, things have begun to change over time. The invention of Tinder and other online dating platforms has meant increasing accessibility to girls for most men. No longer is it a matter of having the courage to approach and get her number. It used to be you might be one of a half-dozen guys she was texting.
Being aloof would set you apart from the rest. PUA text game was effective. Now though?
She’s getting more like three dozen guys hitting her up all the time.
Being aloof and distant is not as effective as it used to be. That’s not to say that it’s completely useless, and I’ll get to that in a minute. However, why would she continue to engage you when you are only offering three-word replies to her?
She has 35 other guys who will give her far more entertainment.
UNDERSTANDING HOW GIRLS THINK
You see, girls can and will chase the guy who they think is a catch. If you’re rich, ripped, or just supremely confident—then they may tolerate the old-school method of “aloof PUA text game”.
However, online dating has changed that a lot.
Think about it. When she meets you on Tinder, she doesn’t know that you are rich, ripped, and very confident. Sure, you can show it in our photos, profiles, and messages—but only to an EXTENT.
Being too aloof will result in your shooting yourself in the foot, simply because she hasn’t seen you in person yet to verify your claims.
So that means that until that point, you have to give her a little more to work with. Once you’ve met her, and ideally fucked her, then you can move towards being a little more distant and aloof in your text messages. By then, she knows you’re a busy guy with stuff going on in his life.
HAVE SOME “LIFE” TO YOUR INTERACTIONS
Wouldn’t you like to get responses like this?
Here are 7 essential rules to forgetting the old PUA text game and implementing a strategy that will work for you.
#1: EMOJIS ARE NOW ACCEPTABLE
It used to be a little gay to use smiley faces, because you really only had ASCII characters available to you. They were thought of as being girly and too invested.
But now you have such a plethora of options as far as emojis go, you can use them freely. They provide color and visual stimulation to a text interaction. You don’t have to send her the cheesy kissy emojis or anything of the sort.
But take a look how I used them effectively in this interaction.
As you can see, I actually did gay it up and use a kissy emoji. But this is so far removed from the older PUA text game—and you can see that it’s effective.
Let’s take a quick little breakdown into this one.
Devil = you can use this emoji as much as you want with girls these days
Grandma + angel = She had been complaining earlier that she was going to go to bed, as she was tired. So I called her a grandma. Typing out the word “grandma” would not have been more effective at all.
Kissy face = Pulling her back in. I’d been teasing her pretty hard, as she commented when she said that I said something nice. I then said my retort to that (push), and the pulled back in (kissy emoji). As you can see, it didn’t hurt me.
Monkey = I’m being a bit bad here. I went sexual (albeit not that much), and then desensitized it a bit with the monkey face. It’s important not to get overtly sexual with a girl before you’ve met. It’s easy to spook the cat.
#2: IT’S NOT JUST LOGISTICS
The older way that PUA text game worked was to keep texting to logistics only. Nowadays though, if you know how to effectively use it, you can keep a girl interested.
It’s a fine balance and takes some practice to get the hang of it. But a stupid picture once a day reminding her what a dork she is can, and will, do wonders.
On top of it, you have to banter back and forth a bit to get her to want to meet up (provided you met her online). If you met her online, it’s not like you just asked her for her number on the first message. That wouldn’t get many responses.
You probably sent a few messages, so continue that before asking her out. Or should I say…
#3: DO NOT ASK, TELL (JUST LIKE OLD SCHOOL PUA TEXT GAME)—WITH A CAVEAT
The old rules still apply for this. Always assume the sale.
This means you do not actually ask her out. You assume the sale, and say, “So when are you free to get a drink?”
When she tells you, you then tell her when and where. I think it’s bad to just assume a date and time, but some guys go that route.
People are busy these days. If some girl was asking you out, and just took a dart to a calendar and told you a time—wouldn’t you feel a little peeved she didn’t even ask?
It’s dumb to paint yourself into a box on a certain day and hour.
If you say, “Let’s meet. Meet at the pub on Thursday at 7pm”, but she works until 7:30, wouldn’t you feel dumb if she could have met at 8?
You’ve just shot yourself in the foot.
#4: THE POST-SEX LANDSCAPE HAS CHANGED
It used to be that the balance of power instantly shifted once sex happened with a girl. These days though, it’s going the opposite. It’s not a light switch.
I hear stories from guys all the time about how they lost a girl after they had sex with her once. They never can get her out again.
The best thing you can do after sex is play cool.
- Send her a text the next day and tell her it was fun
- She’ll hopefully respond and agree
- Ignore her for at least a few hours, then talk about something completely different
- Use the banter tactics I’ve shown above to keep her reasonably engaged until you can see her again.
- To ask her out again, it’s best to keep it simple. A few days later, simply say, “So what’s your schedule like for the rest of the week?”
- Schedule from there
PUA text game used to assume that she would do the chasing after the first hookup—and yes, this used to be the case.
It’s not fair, but you still have a little work to do once you’ve slept together once. Just continue to utilize the pre-date/sex texting style you were using, and start adding inside jokes you’ve come up together with in person to supplement.
Generally speaking, after you’ve had sex three times, the tide seems to change.
#5: HAVE *FUN*
Many of the old texting tips and tricks just had a very robotic feel to them. Aloof and distant, with no life to it. Keep in mind that dating is supposed to be fun.
The world has changed. It’s all about attention and fun. Whereas PUA text game used to work because it was so different, it’s shifted back. When a girl has so many suitors, she just wants to have fun—excuse the pun.
If you are not willing to engage and have a little fun with your text game, you’ll find your success lacking.
So, smile. Just no kissy faces.
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Great insight to how things have changed post-Smartphones/Tinder/Instagram. Wish I had written this article.
The whole “text is for logistics only” school of thought is totally flawed when you’re texting a millennial girl.
You do have to do a little more bantering around to reel her in or you just won’t stand out from the plethora of options. It’s about finding a balance between being too distant and too desperate.
Fortunately, if you can master that, guys can achieve a similar level of options from online game too if they just study it a bit.
Exactly, it’s not an exact science. You can’t be a robot. You have to…you know, BE HUMAN.
Thanks for commenting!