Jerry is 25 years old. At his young age, he feels a little lost. He has only had with sex two girls in his 20 years and feels that he’ll never find a girl or figure out his life. He works as an accountant.
Marshall is 24 years old. He, like Jerry, feels a little lost. He has only had sex with one girl in his 24 years, his ex-girlfriend whom he dated monogamously for 4 years. She dumped him recently, saying, “She needed to find herself.” He works as a junior programmer for a software company start-up.
One day, Jerry stumbles upon a Pick Up Artist forum and is amazed at the content presented to him. All of a sudden, he feels all of his problems are solved. After reading for several hours, Jerry understands how to approach a woman, how to talk to her, how to deal with last minute resistance, and ultimately, how to close the deal.
Jerry reads a challenge about 30 approaches in 30 days and decides to undergo the challenge. For the next 30 days, he will approach a girl each day and figure out how to get laid.
One day, Marshall stumbles upon a self-improvement blog and is amazed at the content presented to him. All of a sudden, he feels all of his problems are solved. After reading for several hours, Marshall understands how to design a beginner’s workout program/nutrition, the importance of developing interesting hobbies, the opportunities of travel, and the foundations of attraction in the opposite sex.
Marshall starts hitting the gym every day, eating right, and starts teaching himself how to play the guitar. He undergoes a 30 day challenge to develop these habits.
30 days into his challenge, Jerry has approached 23 girls and has experienced 21 rejections. Out of the two approaches that went successfully, one texted him telling him she had a boyfriend, and the other did not respond at all.
30 days into his challenge, Marshall has put on 5 pounds of muscle, learned to cook 10 new recipes, and has learned the basic G, C, Em, and D chords on guitar.
30 days later, Jerry has made 12 more approaches and gotten two numbers. One led to a date, but she never texted him back. The other one never responded to him.
30 days later, Marshall has put on another 5 pounds of muscle. With his new physique, he also hit up the mall and bought some new clothes. He has noticed a couple of girls looking at him with a slight smile on their face.
Jerry continues to make approaches and begins to progress with girls. Slowly, but surely, his approaches lead to numbers, and eventually, those start converting into dates. While he doesn’t score on these dates, he rationalizes that he is at least learning how to seduce a woman properly.
Marshall continues lifting weights 5 days a week, eating right, and practices guitar for an hour every day. Slowly, but surely, his physique develops considerably. He notices girls looking at him more, and a few strike up conversations. He grabs these numbers and goes on a couple of dates which are fun, but ultimately lead nowhere.
Jerry starts making huge progress with his pickup attempts. He is now going on dates and getting…second dates! Eventually, a few of these lead to him getting laid with these women.
Marshall continues working out and eating right. In addition to playing guitar, he has developed a passion for writing; tracking all of his progress online, documenting his journey of self improvement on a free WordPress blog. Every day he gets checked out by girls. Some he converses with, and it leads to the occasional date and score.
One year into their respective journeys, Jerry is making dozens of approaches a week. He sets aside time at his lunch hour and right after work to make “daygame” and “happy hour” approaches. He is still working his accounting job, which, while it pays well, ultimately bores him and does not provide him satisfaction in life. Out of these approaches, Jerry is closing numbers in 30% of them and getting laid with about 10% of them.
On the other hand, Marshall has continued to hit the gym and now stands at 10% bodyfat. His guitar skills have improved to the point he is able to impress a woman quite easily by playing easy hits such as “Wonderwall” and “Time Of Your Life”. He is still working his engineering job, but has realized he does not want to sit in a cubicle for the rest of his life. He has started formulating his plan of escape. In addition, he is striking up conversation with a half-dozen girls a week while out and about, and able to get numbers from nearly all of them.
Jerry is now an effective seducer. When he goes out at night, he estimates he has a 30% chance of getting laid that very night by a girl he meets at a club or a bar. He has effectively memorized openers, stories of demonstrating his of higher value, and various last minute resistance techniques to help him get his dick wet. Jerry gets laid once or twice a week with a combination of one night stands and his fuck-buddy that he met off of Tinder.
Marshall has continued improving himself. At 5’10”, he now stands 190 pounds with 8% bodyfat. His blog on self improvement has taken off, and he estimates it will bring him $2k in additional revenue a month within the next year. His guitar skills have improved considerably, as he has learned to play by ear and improvise with ease. Girls continue to flash him smiles, and he continues to escalate these interactions into dates. Marshall gets laid three to four times a week with his two fuckbuddies, and one girl who he is dating on a more serious level.
Jerry has reached the point where he is an effective player. He has racked up over 50 notches over the last two years and is only becoming more versed in the study of game. However, Jerry feels slightly lonely at times. If he doesn’t get laid on a specific night, he feels angry, unsatisfied, and ultimately worthless. The amount of time he gets laid on dates is directly correlated to his self esteem, and ultimately – his happiness.
Marshall has reached the point where he is completely ripped, very skilled at guitar, and has the ability to stick to healthy habits. He has rocked up 25 notches over the last two years and realizes that dominance, abundance attitude, and ambition really attract women. If he doesn’t get laid on a specific night, he doesn’t care – he merely goes home to work on his blog, hits the gym, or home cooks his meals in preparation for the week ahead. He doesn’t care if he gets laid, because he knows he is a decent looking guy in excellent shape, with a multitude of hobbies and ambitions to carry him for the years ahead. He realizes women are a small piece of the puzzle to ultimate happiness.
Who would you rather be – Jerry or Marshall?
Both!
From what I’ve seen, it is not possible. It’s one or the other, though sometimes men transition between the two.
Nah – both are possible. You just have to treat learning Game as one of your hobbies and have a life apart from it. It is difficult at first, because it is so dominant for a man. But it can be done. Building up passive attraction only is no way to be good at Game. On the other hand you do not need to approach 5000 girls to be good with girls. You meet them all the time in a busy lifetime. Sure sometimes going on daygame at very time-effective periods is highly profitable, but that is just 2-3 hours a week.
Self-discipline and temperation is the main point and I think Roosh has written about – he sets aside a certain time for approaching and meeting girls and it takes up only a small part of the week for him.
The problem is that men get addicted to the girls and everything else falls by the wayside. Hence, if you just improve yourself, you naturally grow confident and start doing well with girls – hell, some guys don’t even know what “game” is and they morph into naturals by just improving their lives.
Of course, “get better with girls” is a big focal point of most guys wanting to improve their lives.
“Marshall” is more rounded as a person and actually has a life outside of gaming/seducing women, but “Jerry” gets laid more often because he approaches more often and places his focus semi-exclusively on women.
Honestly, it’s not a matter of who I’d “choose”, the only person I can be is Marshall.
If you start from nowhere, you need to build yourself up.
Victor over at B&D has said something along the lines of “you have to be content/comfortable with yourself before you can be content/comfortable with others” and how it’s bullshit/an excuse to not go out and meet new people, and while I agree with him (to an extent), you have to have value as a person or else you’re just pretending to have value. Unfortunately, I’m not a very good pretender, but I constantly study comedians/people with wit to improve my own wit and to be more engaged in conversations.
Having value and no way of expressing it is almost as useless as having no value and pretending you do.
Happy New Years and great luck in 2015.
Thanks very much for the comment, have a great New Year’s yourself.
A little late…but I’d rather be Marshall. Marshall has a well rounded life focused on becoming a better person. If he decided to focus on game, he’d have a higher SMV, and he’d be able to better with girls and probably score higher quality than Jerry
Good comment!