Last updated: April 25, 2016

Online Dating Myths, Debunked



If men were getting lots of responses, going on dates, and having lots of sex – they wouldn’t be on Google looking for help with online dating.

After an overwhelming amount of requests for additional information, individual profile reviews, and a more comprehensive guide; I decided to put everything that I had learned over my own years of online dating into a book. This book will allow any man to create a profile from scratch and experience success.

It should come as no surprise that this book does not contain the conventional advice that many “gurus” on mainstream sites provide. Understand that those articles are catered to both women and men – and must be politically correct. If you want to have success on OKCupid, you must push aside the myths that many people have pushed upon you.

Myth #1 – Looks

There are many people that fully believe the only guys who get dates online are “10s”.

Let’s start by clarifying that there are no 10s in a woman’s world. Every girl has a type that’s based on drastically more complex standards than your average man.

For a man, the 1-10 rating is based almost entirely off of looks. If she’s not overweight, that likely places her at a 6 on the scale to start. For simplicity’s sake, I’m talking about American body types, which usually ere on the side of obese. If she has an excellent body (i.e. better than average) and a good face, she will probably be an 8. After that, it’s subjective.

One man’s 8 will be another man’s 10. Another man’s 9 will only be a 7 to the guy next to him. However, the foundation of the 1-10 rating scale is solid because men generally agree that beauty, femininity, and fitness can all be judged the same based around a pair of boobs and a vagina.

If only women were so simple.

Women are attracted to power, money, confidence, and charisma. A fat man with all of these qualities in spades will still be able to attract women, and will even be loved by them. A fat woman with these qualities is the woman who ends up on the TV show
Hoarders for owning too many cats. All other things being equal, a man who is in shape will likely do better than one who is fat, but the difference isn’t as marked as that between a fat and slim woman.

Starting to come together?

Due to the various differences in personalities, upbringings, etc., women have a lot more to be attracted, or not attracted to. One woman’s 10 might be another woman’s 3.

One woman’s 6 might be another’s 1. There is just no way of telling until you open your mouth and give yourself a shot. Or, in this case, until you copy and paste the same message you sent to the previous hundred girls.

What’s fascinating about OKCupid and other online dating sites or apps is that it deemphasizes what a woman would naturally consider attractive and instead makes them – you guessed it – exactly like men. OKCupid and other technology based dating mediums forces them to base their initial desire off of looks alone. When you’re messaging girls on OKCupid, you have a split second of their attention.

You must capture it quickly or you’ll be tossed aside quicker than another pair of semen-stained panties.

Many people will tell you that your pictures will absolutely make or break you in terms of your OKCupid success. I’m here to tell you that it’s simply not true. I’ve run profiles without any pictures to test this theory, and had astounding results with it. We’re talking 50% response rates.

The real point I’m trying to drive home with this is this: looks don’t matter as many would have you believe. I once made a profile without a picture and proved this. So, if you’re truly as ugly as a toad, that doesn’t mean you are out of the online dating game.

You just have to pick the best picture you can, taking full advantage of all the tricks girls use (lighting, effects, side shots, secret-fat-hiding shots, etc.) and use them to your benefit.
Even if you are ugly, you can still have outstanding success on OKCupid.

Myth #2 – Women are on dating sites because they want something serious and are tired of the bar scene

Once you start looking at women’s profiles on OKCupid, you’ll discover that at least
half of them have something written within their first few paragraphs along these lines:

“Hi! I’m new to this whole online dating thing and not sure how to fill out my self summary. I’m not very good at talking about myself. Anyways, I am NOT looking to just hook-up, so please don’t message me if that is your intention. I have gotten tired of meeting guys at bars and my friends encouraged me to try this out.”

Let’s debunk every lie in this generic statement.

“I’m new to this whole online dating thing and not sure how to fill out my self-summary. I’m not very good at talking about myself. “

Women love to talk.

They especially love to talk about themselves, their lives, and their friends. This statement is a vain attempt to give you the impression that they aren’t like other girls who talk too much – which is nearly every girl on the planet.

“Anyways, I am NOT looking to just hook-up, so please don’t message me if that is your intention.”

This one is the closest to being the truth. Even if a woman truly was on a dating website or app with the sole intention of hooking up, she would never, in a million years, convince herself of that, much make it known in a public space. She will rationalize her actions – no matter how insane and illogical they are – to her grave.

This behavior is a biological firewall, because women don’t want to be perceived as sluts by their friends or by you. As much as today’s culture promotes equal opportunity and encourages girls to be slutty, men are still disgusted by the thought of committing to a long-term relationship with a slut. Women know this deep down, so they go through every trick in the book to tell themselves they aren’t a slut.

A friend of mine (credit: LaidNYC, rest in peace) summed this up well when he said,

“A girl saying she can go out and get laid is like me saying I can buy a girl dinner.”

Now, some women are genuinely looking for relationships on OKCupid. Some of them truly won’t hook up with you on the first date. But, the myth I’m debunking here is that when they say they aren’t looking for a hookup – it doesn’t mean they won’t. I can’t tell you how many times a girl that said she didn’t want to hook up ended up face down, ass up on the first date.

This is an excerpt from Cracking OkCupid. I’ll be posting more myths from it next week.


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  1. thx for the LaidNYC reference..that’s another gem your mentioned! Saw your excellent, well-thought post on another site recently (won’t say in case you don’t want to be ‘outed’…

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