What is the best way to meet Japanese women in 2019?
The Internet, of course. For a nation so obsessed with technology, this is no surprise. In fact, online dating is one of the fastest growing industries in the country.
But, as with all things, there is a right and a wrong way to go about it. Read on to find out:
- Why online dating is huge in Japan
- The best site to meet Japanese women
- How to chat up girls (and keep the conversation going)
- Why you should move fast to get the best girls in Japan
There Is Little Offline Dating Scene In Japan
So this is not 100% true but it will soon be. Online dating is all of the dating that most young Japanese people do. Here is why:
- Japanese men are notoriously shy around women. They would never approach a girl on the street or even in a bar.
- Girls are taught to act coy to appear more feminine. They’re pretty much afraid of showing interest (which does not help the already elusive Jap men).
- Japan is pretty sexless (only around 20% of people are happy with their sex life) but it is very liberal. Joining an online dating site does not come with the same stigma as the West.
From the safety of being behind a computer screen, Japanese women open up quicker and they’re easier to pick up.
A girl you meet at the club could smile at you as she is giving a fake number and calling you a creep in her head. They’re so afraid of confrontation that you never know if a yes is really a yes. This doesn’t happen online – you can meet Japanese women easier and with less awkward dancing around each other (which is so typical of the Japanese dating culture IRL).
The Best Site To Meet Japanese Women Online
In the pre-Tinder days, Japan Cupid was the most popular online dating platform in the country. While this is no longer the case, I’d still choose it over Tinder any day. The reason? Quality over quantity.
Sure, nobody can beat Tinder at the number of active users. But these days it is riddled with fake profiles and even straight-up hookers. The girls you meet on Tinder will also be flakier than Japan Cupid. Because Tinder requires minimal time and effort investment, it’s easy for them to ghost you or not show up for dates. The communication doesn’t feel real enough for her to feel guilty!
The other big reason I love Japan Cupid is it’s still…
Well, very big.
It has been around for some time now and it has millions of users. Cupid Media, the company that runs it, has experience with niche dating sites all over the world. Online dating is fun but it also needs to be safe. A premium dating site with decades of experience means a better, less dangerous experience.
Finally, Tinder may be useful to connect fellow travelers but you will not meet Japanese women, that are interested in a relationship there. These days it’s turning in the hookup app that it is in the West.
So, bottom line:
You may have some success with Tinder in certain cases. For the most part, though, it’s better to choose Japan Cupid.
How To Meet Japanese Women Online
Since you clicked on this article, I am assuming you don’t just want my thoughts and experience.
You want to actually meet sexy Japanese women!
In Japan, the easiest way to do that is online.
There are singles bars and you could even pick up women on the street. The sweet and non-confrontational culture is playing against you here, though. You will not have any nasty rejections. Japanese girls are taught to be polite and respectful in all situations.
However, this also means that a ‘yes, I’d love to give you my phone number’ could be a ‘I would genuinely love to go out with you’ to ‘Screw you, creep, I am giving you a fake number’.
The women you will meet online are:
- Actively looking for a partner
- Willing to make the effort to get into a healthy relationship
- Prepared for the challenges of an international relationship
All of those things play out in your favour, especially on Japan Cupid. Why Japan Cupid? Because it’s a large site with many members but it is not a locals-only place. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. No wonder it’s one of the best places to meet Japanese women.
Go To Japan Cupid For Cuties Like
Japan Cupid has hundreds of success stories to boast.
- Yuriko who moved from her small town to Osaka. The adaptation was tough, especially since all of her colleagues seemed so concerned by work that they wouldn’t even think of a relationship. I wanted to be successful but I also wanted to find romantic happiness. She met English teacher John through the site and they have been inseparable ever since. We plan on travelling the world together! John has really opened my mind to so many opportunities!
- Erika, a recent divorcée who found herself virtually undatable in Japan’s awkward culture.
Dating is hard in Japan but it’s even tougher if you’re divorced, she says, it’s like guys were both intimidated by me and judgemental that I got divorced in the first place. I think everybody saw me as a Queen Bitch and I really struggled to get back out there.
She is now happily engaged to a handsome Australian. I could not be happier, she says. - Maki who was never the cool kid at her school and it scarred her for life. I would get bullied a lot as a kid and it really affected my confidence. I was very shy, too painfully shy to actually meet someone in real life. Maki didn’t believe anyone would like her online either. Her now-husband Stephen proves the opposite!
These are normal, down-to-Earth women.
You won’t meet the infamous JAV (Japanese Adult Video) models on Japan Cupid and the site also patrols hard for prostitutes.
The women on the platform simply want a guy that will pay more attention to them than he does to his favourite sex doll.
Talking To Japanese Women Online
To meet Japanese women, you would have to initiate contact. Even more than that, you’d have to ask her out, choose a date location, and generally take initiative on most matters.
When you ask a Western girl out, she might suggest some locations and generally try to keep the conversation going. Jap girls will act all shy till the very end. By the way, this is all calculated. They are raised to believe that by acting sweet and innocent they will make you work for it harder and bag you as their boyfriend.
It can be tough to talk to Japanese women because they don’t give you a lot to talk about.
Here are my best strategies for making it work on Japan Cupid:
Personalise Your Opener
Your first message to an online crush should not be generic. Make her feel wanted by tailoring your opener to her profile.
Most women on Japan Cupid are stereotypical good Japanese girls. They want affection above all. Do that from the very first message. Ask about something on her profile and then slide a compliment in there. You can’t hear it but she is giggling behind the computer screen.
Start By Sharing A Personal Story
The best way of asking questions without making it an interrogation is by sharing something yourself. For instance, if you see she has a flute in one of her profile pictures, tell her about that time you spent five weeks practising Twinkle-twinkle, little star! only to fail miserably during your music class.
By the way, yes, this is an embarrassing story. That is not a bad thing. There is power in being vulnerable, just look at famous stand-up comedians. When you make people laugh, they feel good about themselves.
The same goes for when you meet Japanese women (or when you’re trying to pick up any girl, really).
Ask Her Out, She Is Waiting
A Japanese girl would never make the first step. She is too afraid of scaring you away or appearing ‘unfeminine’. But as long as you have a good conversation going on, she will be waiting for you to make a move.
In Japan, it’s all about subtle hints. Pay attention to stuff like that in your online chit-chat. It means that it’s finally time for a date!
Japanese men are notoriously bad at this game. They wait for too long and girls begin to question if there was a connection in the first place. Don’t make the same mistake. Man up and ask her out within a few days of first talking to her! This way you will not just meet Japanese women online, you will get to date the best Japanese girls, period. Not just the best Japanese girls online, the best in general. Because, while the local guys are hanging around, too afraid to make a move, you will be wining and dining these Japanese hotties!
As usual, good luck and make sure you come back with a field report. What worked for you? What didn’t? Share so we can all improve!
For people skeptical about the affiliate link, I lived in Japan for many years and this was all true. It seems like nothing has changed since I’ve been away.
I would add, be aware that Japanese girls sometimes go on a date just to be polite. Escalate gradually and in a fun way while you are together, but definitely not too far in public. Never kiss in public, for example. If you aren’t getting positive signals, try someone else.
Thanks for chiming in man!