Last updated: May 14, 2014

Match Theory



I’m a former competitive endurance athlete.  In that world of suffering, we often talk in number of “matches” left in the tank.  Every time you expand some effort beyond your threshold, that burns a match.  You want to burn your last match on the last stretch before the finish line.  If you burn them up prior to that, you’re going to suffer.

For example, let’s say you’re riding in a 60 mile bike race.  There are three major hills.  You start the race with five “matches”.  You burn one up at the start getting to the front of the pack.  You burn another on the first hill.  You burn the third on a sprint point where you get a bonus prize.  That means you have two matches left and two hills, PLUS the finishing sprint.  You better make damn sure you don’t burn those matches up for any other reason, or else you have no chance of winning the race, or even finishing with the main pack.  If you burn too many matches, you end up like this, being pushed by the guy with man titties.

match burned

Relationships, sex, and life work the same way.  You have a limited amount of matches to burn; i.e. passion in life.  You can only give so much before you simply cannot give any more.  Eventually, as the cyclist above depicts, you are exhausted and cannot take any more.  You may be able to recover and finish strong, but you will still only be mere seconds away from slipping back into the dreaded red zone.  You must be conscious and careful of the amount of matches you have left in you.

Let’s start with how match theory works in regards to females, because I fucking hate women. <3 you, ladies.

As a girl exits her teenage years into young adulthood, she is full of life and love.  She is blissfully naive to the world around her.  She glows as she floats through the world, and is able to fall wild and passionately in love with a man if he can sweep her off her feet.  Excuse my Disney fantasies for a moment.

Then, she has a one night stand.  The guy never calls her.  A match goes out.

She has a fling with an alpha who won’t commit despite her tearful pleas.  Another match, gone.

She’s stressed at school and starts to develop bad sleep/eating habits.  Match burned.

I think what we’re seeing with generations of sluts patrolling the streets now is matches going out all the fucking time.  Girls are getting pumped and dumped, hit and quit, nailed and bailed, and fuck ‘n chucked all the damn time.  It’s not new knowledge in the Manosphere that a woman is not as capable of bonding with a partner if she has had many sexual partners previously (see some of Roissy or Rollo’s work).  With every new cock to penetrate her; a match goes out.  Eventually, the roaring fire is down to a mere flicker.  Her flame is dead.  It is gone, forever.  You cannot rekindle a spark to a dead match.  She will never be able to give as much passion to another person again.  There are a limited amount of matches in life, and she didn’t allocate them properly.

Don’t think men are off the hook, though.

When I went to college, I was fresh out of high school, 18 years old, and thought I knew everything.  I went to school with wide eyes and an openness to the world.  Full of life, fire, and passion.  Admittedly, I’ve burned matches.  Do I have a lot left?  You betcha.  However, my outlook on life is bleaker than it was 4 years ago.  I’m far more in tune with how the world really works, thanks to a tiny little red pill.  As a man burns too many matches, it becomes more difficult to move on to the next phase in life.  What was a lifetime of goals becomes a lifetime of “should haves”.

He’s a nice guy and gets friend zoned by the girl he loved for two years.  Match burned.

He works 70 hours a week every week for a year.  Poof.

He plays videogames and gets fat.  Match out.

Once again, with every match burned, is another chip on the shoulder in the game of life.  It’s one less get out of jail free card, if you like Monopoly.  The thing is, one the matches are burned, the fire cannot be rekindled.  If you get your heart broken, I don’t think you can open yourself up again as deeply to the next person.  Maybe you do anyway.  The same thing happens.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.  There are only so many matches, and if a man keeps letting girls put them out, then he is due for a lifetime of misery.  This is why many men turn to game, and while they get laid more, they naturally become more cynical and closed off towards women, and society as a whole.  You must protect yourself from getting burned.

If we want to talk career wise, working 70 hours a week is not healthy in any way, shape, or form.  Only in America are we willing to work so many hours for precious little piece of the pie.  Every extra hour spent laboring away in a cubicle is less effort you can put into the side hustle you’re truly passionate about.  It’s less effort you can give to raising your son to become a real man.  It’s less effort you can spend chasing pretty girls and charming their pants off (and as a result, putting out their matches).

We all have a limited amount of matches.  Just like a bike race, with each match burned, it becomes harder to recover and bounce back to peak form.

Make sure you burn yours wisely.


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  1. I would say it happens in Marriage (for a Man) also…going along the lines of thought, for every shit test, for every argument about “fill in the blank”, for every discussion that starts with “you should…”, for everytime you reach out to her and she says she’s not in the mood, for everytime you come home from work and she says “your turn, I’m going out with the girls tonight”, and the ever present…you don’t care, love, feel, whatever enough.

    A match is spent.

    And at some point, you just can’t do it anymore. Because you’ve come to conclusion that you can’t run fast enough, you can’t earn enough money, you can’t be nice enough, you can’t fold the towels perfect, you can’t load the dishwasher good enough, you can’t take good enough care of the kids, ad nauseum….I have this theory, that every Husband and I mean 100% of them, will come to the conclusion that they can’t do ENOUGH to make her happy and fulfilled. And that is either a breaking point OR the point of clarity for him. He either gives up and sits down (and quits) or he finally comes back to what’s really important – himself.

    He either regrets lighting all his matches, or he finds out that he has another book of them in his back pocket.

    Great analogy BTW.

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