Reader S writes in to ask about a recent email:
Yo Kyle, I had read the email you published a couple or few days ago about Poland. I thought the email was quite interesting because of how the world has changed differently. Here’s a little part that you wrote:
“I mean, I get it, they’re not for everyone. But I think many a foreign women are on to the “game” these days. Foreigners who fly in for a few weeks, hook up, and then disappear into the abyss. They’re wise to it by now. What’s the point, other than a novel factor which isn’t even novel anymore because any girl can do it.”
When you say “wise”, do you mean that their aware to the game whatever foreigner uses? Also, shouldn’t that be a good thing? Because if it’s like that, then that means they want relationships rather than getting pumped and dumped. What do you think?
Not aware of the game, per-se, but more aware of the general goal of men who are going abroad.
Plus, they’ve probably heard all the little lies by now (I’m here for work, I come here often, I’m thinking about opening a business here, etc etc.)
Maybe not a bad thing, but the problem is more that the men who are coming are looking to pump and dump.
Hence no one wins.
Women stop hooking up because they don’t want to get used for a casual fling, and then men start saying that the women all suck because they don’t put out.
Now, there’s more, a lot more…
There was a friend who first moved with me when I went abroad. He hailed from the South, and I’d even coached him in Miami the year before moving. He came to Krakow a few weeks after me, and then we traveled onwards to Kiev and Odessa. He returned home at the end of that year, but recently reached out to me and told me he was beginning to look for something serious in the relationship department.
But…he’d hit a roadblock.
Even though he’d improved himself, and his standards were merely:
“Not fat, cute, and pleasant”
…he’s saying there just aren’t many of them. And he is a tall, good-looking dude who should realistically have no problems meeting a decent girl, anywhere in the world.
The fact of the matter is that the numbers are pretty rough these days.
Take, for example, this tweet I sent out yesterday:
“It’s getting to the point in the western world where you can’t really “grind” to meet a solid girl for a relationship. Maybe one out of ~200-300 girls is cute, thin, feminine, and hasn’t been with 10+ dudes. The gap grows even more if you want a skill like cooking as a bonus.”
A follower responded with:
“To me the math works like this when they’re 21:
– 70% overweight-obese 1
– 0% already married/serious boyfriend
– 15% notch count over 10 (>5 ideally)
– Realistically you’re working with 5%
Looking for a submissive one who cooks, no mental health issues?
It’s rough out there…
And really, I won’t lie and say it’s an easy solution. I think it’s easier to just go to the needle factory than to try to find a needle in a haystack.
Which leads us to reader Robert writing in to ask about the general dating scene in Ukraine:
I keep seeing an ad for an agency in the Ukraine claiming that Ukrainian women are looking for western men because they are more stable, have a solid job with upward mobility, want a wife and a family.
This leads one to believe that Ukrainian men don’t want this or at least not as much.
First what are your thoughts on this?
Is it true or just some bullshit so guys will surf this website talk to some beautiful women and perhaps make a visit to the Ukraine to meet and one day marry the girl of his dreams. I have no idea if this is a paid for service or a pay per letter service which I know are pretty much all bullcrapola.
I do think there are some beautiful women in the Ukraine and if you are lucky enough to meet one and fall in love with each other then I say go for it but honestly meeting through a website?
Yea or nay?
I mean we do it in the US all the time there are countless sites but for a foreign girl even a bit older woman say over 35 any chance at all or all just BS?
Avoid any and all systems that ask for you to pay by the letter, by the message, or anything else of the sort. There are a couple of reputable dating sites out there (like this one, both friends and I have had plenty of success on it – review here) for foreign countries, and yes, they are paid, but it’s purely for membership, not based off of what you actually do on the site.
Don’t ever send a girl overseas a laptop, roses, or medical emergency funds.
These things are so common that the United States government has started labeling them as “Boris and Natasha scams”, because it’s often a Boris in his mom’s basement pretending to be sexy Natasha…
A far better option would be to pony up for a premium Tinder subscription and poke your head around the dating market in foreign countries.
That way, your investment is a few measly bucks instead of a few thousand.
Now, that’s not all:
Ukrainian men, or at least many of them, do want families. There’s also plenty of them who have their own set of issues (we all do).
- Lack of motivation (hard to be motivated when there’s so many beautiful women around you and you have your choice).
- Little room for growth (poor economy).
- On and on it goes.
So, yes, many a foreign girl (not just Ukrainian) will look to a foreign man because there are plenty of advantages. Yes, it also means there are plenty of “gold diggers”, but frankly, I get tired of this argument.
Reason why is this:
Throughout history, men have been seen in terms of attractiveness and value to women based off of what they can provide.
Recently, the States has gone more to “women wanting mindless dancing monkey entertainment”.
But, abroad, you’re still evaluated based off of what you bring to the table as a man.
This is a good thing, because it means you are in control of your own destiny…
Unlike in the USA, where you’re really just hoping the right girl falls on your lap at the right time in both of your lives if you want anything serious.
In Yours Troubly’s humble opinion, going abroad puts the ball back in your court.