TO UNDERSTAND THIS POST YOU MUST READ THIS:
https://thisistrouble.com/2014/06/07/what-the-fuck-is-the-point-of-being-a-man/
LETTING GO OF MY ANGER WITH AMERICA
I look back on the above post now, and I realize that my anger was far deeper than because I had just sold my beloved Mustang. It was my first true step towards freedom, as I had just relieved myself of my $400 a month payment and $200 insurance bill.
I was upset because this was the first real step of unplugging.
My first true dose of reality. They always say that admitting is the first step, but what they never mention is that it’s certainly not the hardest step of them all. The hardest step is taking that first real step of action. The first real plunge. You know that feeling when you go out for the first swim of the summer? How the water is icy, spreading from your fingertips up to the hairs on your head? You know the feeling of shock?
Well, it’s rather unpleasant, and What The Fuck Is The Point Of Being A Man? was a direct result of the shock I had just experienced. Really, the entire American dream that I had been raised on was being thrown into the trash. I was selling the status symbol. The fancy car that was supposed to get me girls. And while it did (many times over), it didn’t really matter. I got plenty of girls after, too.
I was making a conscious choice to not cave to the norm. To be a producer, not a consumer, at least until I’ve produced so much that I have the financial capacity to consume with no consequences.
Trust me – it was really, really hard. Saying goodbye to the only reality you have ever known, the very existence you have grown your entire life around, takes a lot of courage and perseverance through multiple episodes of self-doubt.
But tomorrow, I get on a plane as a free man.
I no longer have a boss, I no longer have an office job I hate, and I no longer have to live in America.
Now, I am the boss, I love my job (which, at the moment, is writing this post), and I get to live wherever on this planet I please.
How’s that for a change of pace?
The anger is gone.
It’s been replaced by focus, passion, and happiness.
No more, “What the fuck is the point of being a man?”, woe-is-me crap. These days, I’m incredibly thankful to be a man. I probably wouldn’t be undertaking a journey like this if I was a woman, from both a motivation and safety perspective.
MY ANGER WITH AMERICA, AND HOW TO CHANNEL IT
This post (and subsequent advice) goes far past the typical “self-improvement/motivation” path all men need to go on.
Here it is: let the hate fuel you.
It’s not simple, and it’s easy to get in over your head. But if you learn how to channel that anger, the work you can put in, the things you can do – it’s incredibly powerful. But you must harness it properly, and not allow it to consume you and run your life.
I mean, look at that last post.
That does not look like a man who is in control. At the time, I clearly wasn’t.
I was angry:
To put things in perspective, I have worked my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE to get to the point where I am at, I have done EVERYTHING right according to the American Society Handbook To Rape Young Men™ – and WHAT DO I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?
A car I can’t afford, an apartment that is nearly 50% of my net income, a $100k FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER (thankfully I only owe $5k on it) on my wall that says Bachelor’s in Economics, a career in COMPUTERS where I use ZERO economics, a office where I must censor myself in fear of being fired, and a shit load of expensive materialistic toys that I bought because – well, I was bored.
But I channeled it. Took control. Used it as motivation. Made myself and my already strong drive even more powerful.
It’s an entire mindset shift to stop feeling sorry and to start taking action.
It’s not easy, and it’s damn well not supposed to be easy. This is beyond the generic, self-help stuff that is commonly preached. That advice usually consists of, “Stop the negative self talk, fake it ’til you make it,” etc. And that’s really about it. Learning to take anger and use it in a productive and powerful manner is a whole new ballgame. It’s the next step of self awareness, self improvement, and ultimately, being the best man you can.
It’s hard to explain.
And while I’m not trying to build you up into thinking that I have all the knowledge about how to harness this energy – I promise you this. I am trying my best, in a very long and detailed post, to put the steps I took into actionable advice that you too can use. However, doing one thing and then teaching it is a whole different ballgame. Much how I didn’t start teaching guys how to pickup girls when I was still in the beginner stages, this is the same concept.
I’ve learned to walk (harness) my anger. I’ve learned how to run (use it as fuel) with it. Now I need to learn how to completely control it so I can teach it.
Trust me, I will.
I would not be setting foot on that plane tomorrow without the support of you guys, whether you are just a drive-by reader or a guy who has bought all of my stuff. This comes from both a monetary perspective and emotional perspective. This blog has truly turned my life around. You guys, the readers, the soul of place – have made it happen.
So thank you.
For reading.
For helping me channel my anger.
For being ass-kicking, action-taking men in a world that makes it really hard to do so.
I hope you’re ready.
Because the real fun is about to begin.
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Congrats on the success Kyle. Waking up from the American Dream generally is traumatic experience. To think everything you were told since a child was a lie, that everything you have worked for is going to screw you over. I’m very thankful I was able to figure this stuff out with the help of others at a young age. I feel bad for people in their 40s or 50s who are just now starting to see the cracks in their worldview. But it is a healthy process overall. Like how the military breaks young men before it can build them. The breaking sucks but ultimately it is what is needed to facilitate the deep change. Again congrats hope to be able to write a post like sometime soon. Nothing is as sweet as freedom.
Charles – thanks. Much appreciated!
Yes, I don’t even know what to tell the older guys sometimes, especially when they come to me for advice. It’s mind blowing, and admittedly a bit intimidating. But i’m learning to take it in stride.