A reader writes in to ask…
Hey, I’m an old fart and I appreciate the opinions and experiences of those willing to share. I had one of those bratty entitled white wives and just started something with a Filipina woman 12 years younger. I greatly appreciate the warnings found here and elsewhere. There were some questionable things that kept making me wonder if it was a scam. I wouldn’t say I’m totally out of the woods yet, but each warning has so far passed the OK check. A few more to go.
But I am aware of them and can feel good I may have found a real gem. No doubt this one is sweet, caring and that femininity exudes out of her. I love that.
I don’t mind supporting her 2 daughters if it comes to marriage (and only then). But I do have a couple of questions. Does their culture expect a parent to support adult children? From conversation, it seems as if the oldest daughter has it in her mind to take care of her mother. Would it be legit or rude to insist that I would only support the children and not her siblings or parents? I haven’t had that conversation yet and wouldn’t mind hearing what those who may know would think.
I am Korean American. Not that it should matter, but let’s be real. It does. I can handle that.
The thing is…
It’s really just in the Western world that you go and dump your elderly parents in a care home, leave them to fend for themselves, and just pay their care bill while visiting once a month.
As far as I know, those type of facilities just don’t exist in the rest of the world. Instead, the families come together to care for the elderly. Because there’s not the money to do the care facilities, and I mean that there’s not money to build them, and even if they could, people don’t have the money to pay for ’em.
My own father always said:
“You can tell how a culture and society is by how they treat their children, and how they treat their elders…”
Anyways, this is one of the things that happens when you date abroad. You have to accept the culture for what it is. That’s the price you pay, because trust me, you will not like some of it. That’s the tradeoff by having a nice, feminine, thin, loyal wife who cooks all your meals and does all your laundry.
“Actually Abroad” member Sam asked me to answer the following questions:
Does your current UA apartment have a dishwasher? A dryer? A no-match light stove? A waste disposal blade in the sink?
If not, do you miss these things? Does your gf handle literally all of this?
Do you guys split the cooking nights when you’re not busy? Does whoever do the cooking doesn’t do the dishes? Or so you just not cook/eat at home much?
I assume she expects you to take out the trash. What other chores do you have to do?
I assume you have a maid. How often does she clean, how long does it take (I think they are slow out here), and does she all these chores on the days she comes? I heard they are only $7/hour in Kiev. So you definitely safe money, but I don’t know about time.
And, the answers…
Are in the latest post on “Actually Abroad”.
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