Well, fuck me. I never thought I’d be here. But here I am.
In July of 2013 I started dating a girl. She didn’t bang me on the first date.
I realized that despite every green light in the book, there was a distinct chance I wasn’t getting any that night. That didn’t stop me from trying though. I pushed the escalation, then pulled back. I froze her out once or twice. I tried forcefully grabbing her hand and putting it on my hard cock…she’s stroke it a couple of times and then refuse to go further. She wanted it though, telling me that she couldn’t keep touching me or she wouldn’t be able to resist wanting me inside her. After at least an hour of the back and forth battle I was out of patience.
We kept it casual for a while, seeing each other once a week or so in between the rest of my harem.
I’ll be honest, I don’t really have much to add to this one. This is one of the girls I’ve been seeing for two months or so now. We have fun and get along great, but I don’t think there’s a relationship type of chemistry. We kind of just go with the flow. Anywho, she came over, we had sex. Then tried to watch The Great Gatsby but we’d both had enough of it within half an hour. So we had sex again, instead. Now it’s about 1am and she left.
Make a note of the “I don’t think there’s a relationship type of chemistry” from that post last August, because then…this happened.
Ah fuck it, just go read for yourself.
- Field Report: 5 Girls In 5 Days: Day 5 & RECAP
- I Underestimate Myself
- Happy Thanksgiving
- Holly Asks For Commitment: Thanksgiving Follow Up
- Coming To Terms With My Own Fear Of Commitment
- The Conclusion Of The Holly Saga
- I Couldn’t Go Dark: I Now Have A Girlfriend, And…Said Girlfriend Found My Blog
Truthfully, I feel like I could write a pretty compelling story if I went back and re-wrote those articles instead of having originally written them so far apart. Anyways, here we are. I’ve now been with Holly for an entire year as of yesterday; though I’m writing this a few days before the official one year mark. I guess I still have time to break up with her and delete this post before it goes live, ha!
I can honestly say that this last year has been pretty incredible. It has been an eye opening experience to hold down a healthy and fulfilling relationship that holds true to the masculine and feminine balance. My last relationship was not exactly healthy, as I wrote here and here. Once you’ve obtained game and red pill understanding – my goodness, the word relationship is no longer as dread-inducing as it one was. The endless nagging, games, mood swings, and overall bullshit just doesn’t exist in my world.
I love the girl and I’m glad to share what I’ve learned in the year since I’ve been with her.
Red Pill Relationship Lessons
Write these down and memorize up, gentlemen (and ladies, to a certain extent).
1.) Fuck her good.
As simple as it sounds, there is a reason this one is at the top of the list. You can debate all you want about how important sex is in the overall grand scheme of relationships – some people will say 50/50, some say 60/40, some say it’s not important at all (they’re fools). Firstly, you will not be a happy man if you are not satisfied in the bedroom. And make no mistake, a woman looks to you for leadership – much like how a dog will take on the mood of its owners, women are very much the same. If you are generally happy, she will be happy. She is at her happiest when she is pleasing you, so if she’s doing a good job of it, it has a direct impact on her happiness.
If you can fuck a woman well, you’ll keep her coming back for more and more. Women also tend to have stronger orgasms once they feel fully confident around a man, so naturally, they are going to have more intense orgasms once they’ve opened up to you – no pun intended. This means you put her in her place in the bedroom, treating her as a toy for pleasure. Do what positions you want, pin her down and take her whenever you want – and fuck her like it’s the last time you’re ever going to fuck.
If you need help on how to fuck, I recommend giving Red Pill Orgasm a read.
2.) If she is a good girl, you will have to fight comfort.
You must continue growing, at all costs. Because if she’s doing her job, you’ll have to make some effort. It’s a cruel double edged sword – when she’s fucking you good, cooking for you, and generally filling your life with positive feminine energy, it’s hard not to want to spend tons of time with her and neglect other things in life.
- Side hustles
- Social skills
In an even crueler fit of irony…
She pleases you -> Makes you happy -> You relax a bit -> You become comfortable -> Your drive, which was so attractive to her, wanes -> She loses attraction to you -> Things go downhill
3.) There is only so much you can do.
My ex (links above) was always miserable. There’s no other way to put it. Even with all of my game and knowledge, I now realize that there is simply nothing I could have ever done for her. Maybe if I had Brad Pitt’s looks, Bill Gates’ money, James Bonds’ badass-ness…but that’s a lot of maybes.
Holly on the other hand is so upbeat, stable, and happy all of the time, it’s hard not to pick up on it. While having a strong frame as a man can certainly mold a girl’s personality to an extent, there is only so much you can do. It makes me chuckle that I am the moodier one of the two of us – a complete 180 from my last girlfriend.
4.) Love is not what it’s all cracked up to be in the movies.
And maybe that’s what has so many men lost, and then finding the Manosphere. Maybe they’re just searching for love, and then come across game and the magical pussy that is bestowed upon the person who masters it. I did it, and I totally get the appeal. Every man should go through that phase, and I wouldn’t be the person I am without that. I understand that love might be fleeting. It might be difficult. It sure as hell is scary. While some say love is kind, I have no doubt love could smack me in the face at any time.
But as I write this, it doesn’t matter. I understand love, better than I ever have before.
5.) The friends matter less over time.
This isn’t to say I don’t like Holly’s friends, I actually do. At the beginning of our relationship though, she analyzed every single interaction with every single friend. It was just silly, and I truthfully thought it might be the ultimate downfall of the relationship. However, over time she began to realize how many positive attributes I brought to her life and began to care less of what her friends thought of me. There are a couple of them who didn’t think very highly of me at first, probably because Holly was dumb enough to actually share This Is Trouble with them.
It’s no longer a concern at all.
6.) Be careful…
If her family likes you, and of course they will, you charming bastard – you’ll quickly become engrained with it. I love Holly’s family and have a blast with them, but for those whom are not looking for something super serious, realize that developing a close relationship with her family will make things harder if you decide you want to end things.
7.) If you’re in a Red Pill Relationship…break ups? Psh.
You will assume that you will never get broken up with. This is my own thought process. I see no circumstance whatsoever in which she would end it. Confident is an attractive trait.
8.) I am still my own man.
I love Holly, I truly do. However, if she decided she no longer wanted to be with me tomorrow (direct contradiction to #7, I realize), I’d be okay. I’d realize that I could pick myself up. This is what the Red Pill is all about – understanding. Understanding women. Understanding love. Understanding life.
I have zero regrets about this last year with Holly and look forward to seeing what adventures we have in the future. For those of you on the fence about a relationship – realize that picking the right girl is everything.
Holly, if and when you eventually read this – I love you. You’re an amazing girl.
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Good article. these red pill lessons ill keep in mind with my girl.
Regarding importance of sex in a relationship I always remember the adage, “when things are going well sex is 1% of the relationship, when they’re going bad it’s 99%”. My last ltr, she never had any interest, either that or she was just lazy. I have a high libido and hers just didn’t match. I have a sneaking feeling she might have been abused. Came to the red pill in the last 2 years. Learned a lot about bitches…..
The funny thing is, my ex had zero libido (https://thisistrouble.com/2014/11/13/story-ex-part-1/). Eight months without getting my wang touched. However, if I’d knew everything I knew now…no way that would have ever happened.
Patrice O’Neal once said that women never leave you unless you’d be crushed by them leaving. Sounds like this isn’t a problem for you, so you’ll be just fine.
What an artist he was. This is so true.
Positive, upbeat post. You sound like you’re in a great place.
“There is only so much you can do” – indeed, this is starting to hit home with my current girlfriend. She’s prone to bouts of extreme moodiness and emotional swings, and no matter how masculine or dominant I am at one end of the spectrum, or how patient, reasonable and reassuring I am at the other end, she inevitably reverts to type after a period of calm.
The long distance doesn’t make things easy, but at the end of the day, I just want a quiet life – as I suspect many men do – and wondering which version of her I’m going to get on a given day doesn’t fit into that very well. A stable baseline is always preferable to high highs and low lows.
Sometimes discretion is the better part of valour…
Thanks as always buddy, always love hearing from you since I was such a huge fan of YSW and look up to you as to where I’d like to be in ten years.
There have actually been a lot of positives that have come for me from the distance between my girl and I – much to my surprise.