Kyoto women are fun and beautiful…
…but, sometimes they are also notoriously hard to get.
Whether you want a fling or a serious girl, dating in Kyoto is nothing like the West. Read on to learn our best strategies on:
- Meeting the highest value Kyoto girls
- Nightlife as a gaijin (foreigner)
- Picking up girls with zero Japanese skills (+ two smart ways to improve your language skills)
- Dating and the best places to bring a girl
- Hook up culture with Kyoto women
Let’s take it from the basics:
Where To Stay In Kyoto
Kyoto is a huge city and it’s very spread out. The best neighbourhood, if you are here for the first time, is Shimogyo. Located north of the Kyoto Station, this area is very convenient for both sightseeing and meeting girls.
Within Shimogyo-ku you will find Kyoto Station, easily the best day game location in the entire city. It’s much more than a train station, too. There is a shopping mall within the station, as well as a few great restaurants and even a rooftop park. Jot that last one down as your first pickup location! It’s always full of beautiful girls and the relaxed atmosphere makes for the perfect environment to meet them.
Most of the hotels here are much cheaper than downtown. They are conveniently located around the station. The main downside is noise but if you get over that, Shimogoyo is perfect for the average traveller.
You just have to grab the Karasuma subway line and you are downtown in no time. Departing from the Central North exit are buses that can take you just about everywhere you’d want to visit. There are also trains to take you to Arashiyama, Fushimi Inari Shrine and Nara.
Guest-Friendly Hotels In Shimogoyo
The Japaning Hotel Briller is a fairly nice choice for a very affordable price. They have AC in all of the rooms, the property is clean, and the staff are very friendly. You won’t be enjoying many creature comforts but the space is recently renovated and pleasant to stay at.
For even cheaper accommodation, try one of the many hostels.
There are upsides and downsides, of course. For instance, if you’re sharing a dorm, it gets hard to bring girls back home. On the other hand, you can meet some fellow travelers and have company for exploring the city. In Kyoto, it’s always good to have a wingman or wing woman. You can find them at the hostel.
Oh, and you could also meet some pretty Kyoto girls at your hostel. Japanese women do enjoy traveling around their own country.
Our third guest-friendly option is the newly opened Mimaru Kyoto Station hotel.
This one is brand new and they are trying really hard to impress their customers. Designed to be minimalistic and beautiful, Mimaru is taking care of every little detail of your stay. They aim to be your home away from home, and the entire experience is curated from start to finish. Just one tip: make sure to book in advance, there is high demand for it on booking sites.
Gaijin-Friendly Nightlife In Kyoto
Gaijin is the Japanese word for foreigner. Unfortunately, travellers are not welcome everywhere in Kyoto. Some locations remain locals-only. You might be asked to leave, or you might just get dirty looks. Either way, these hardly seem like great pickup locations.
If you are going out to meet Kyoto girls, you want to know where the beautiful ones are. You also want to know what places are gaijin-friendly.
Kiyamachi Dori
The Kiyamachi strip is one of the most picturesque streets in Kyoto. Running parallel to the river, Kiyamachi Dori is home to some of the city’s best Japanese barbecues and clubs. But it is at night that it truly comes to life.
Make sure to walk all through the street. It is divided into three parts. Most tourists will only stick to the middle one (granted it is the most popular). Don’t miss out on the southern and northern sections of the Kiyamachi strip, either. These are more local-focused but foreigners are still welcome.
At the less popular Kiyamachi bars, your novelty status will really help. Kyoto, as any other Japanese city is very homogenous. You will instantly spark interest.
The club scene in this area is markedly upscale. Prepare to spend big and make sure you are dressed to impress. A lot of the clubs enforce strict dress codes. Better safe than sorry, always wear long pants. Opt for a nice fitting shirt, too. As for accessories, only wear a watch if it is actually nice.
Pontocho District
This is Kyoto’s nightlife area. Located just on the west side of Kamo River, it is home to busy bars and loud clubs.
Check out the Jo Social Sake Bar. They have tasting menus, starting at 1000 yen, but the sake isn’t the only thing people come for. The owner, a former geiko is one of the city’s most colourful personages. He has an endless amount of stories to tell. Oh, and you can try on the samurai costume in the bar. It makes for some cool travel pictures, that is for sure.
After you’ve warmed up, it’s time to go clubbing. In Pontocho, there is no shortage of discos. It only depends on what kind of music you like (and, of course, what kind of girls you would like to meet).
One of my personal favourites is the Kitsune Kyoto disco. Some of the hottest Kyoto women come here to party. Granted, it must have to do with the tiny cover fee that they pay (as opposed to 2000 yen for guys). No matter what you think of that kind of differences, there are perks to the discrimination. Mainly, the fact that Kitsune is never a sausage fest and the quality of the girls is impressive.
Of course, it also helps that there are two different floors, the atmosphere is great, and the drinks are delicious. But, most of all, since we are talking about picking up Kyoto women, Kitsune is amazing for that purpose.
Other Pickup Clubs And Bars
Depending on how long you are staying in Kyoto, you might want to branch out and go off the beaten track. Here are some nightlife locations to check out. They are all gaijin-friendly and perfect for singles:
- Barcode, Hello Dolly, Bar Cordon Noir, and Ki bar in the Nakagyo-ku area
- World in Shimogyo-ku (if you listened to my accommodation advice, this one should be a 5-minute walk away from your hotel or hostel)
- Metro in Sakyo-ku
- Pig & Whistle Higashiyama-ku
Bear in mind that bars close and reopen with new names all the time. If there is a new and exciting club that you went to, please share it in the comments below. There are enough Kyoto women for all of us, let’s help each other!
Remember that contrary to popular belief, not all Japanese women are obsessed with Western dudes. Some of them would not even consider dating you.
Here is why…
What Kyoto Women Want—And Don’t Want
There are plenty of reasons why a Kyoto girl might not be into foreigners.
For starters, a lot of the Western men she meets are in Japan just for a limited time. This ‘transitory lover’ is hardly a Jap girl’s idea of romance. There is a strong fear of being used and left behind.
To add insult to injury, foreign men get the reputation of being players. Some things that you think nothing of, such as dating around, bother Jap girls. To them, if you go on one date (that is right, just one!), you are already boyfriend and girlfriend. When they meet Western guys who don’t share their belief, a stereotype is created:
Foreign men are just fuckboys.
Finally, even if you are staying in Japan for the long term, she might fear the cultural difference and stigma. Because of the whole belief that Westerners are unreliable, her family might not approve. Her community might give her some BS about it, too.
In Japan, it’s all about status.
Your partner is just as much a part of your image, as, say, your handbag. Kyoto women dress to the 9’s and take great care of impressing others.
When they are choosing a boyfriend, they want a guy they can show off. If you are not show off material, be it because of your foreigner status or because you work a low-paid job (most expats in Kyoto are English teachers), she might not want to date you for the long term.
Why You Still Have A Great Chance With Kyoto Girls
First of all, you have the gaijin hunters. These are Japanese people that are obsessed with foreigners. It’s not just for dating purposes. Oftentimes, they just want to chat about your country and practice their English a little bit.
I know you will be flattered by the attention but hear me out. Gaijin hunters are only good for one night stands. You never know when the next intriguing foreigner will come along. She will ditch you for him. As tempting as it may be, look for more traditional Kyoto girls.
Fortunately, a lot of women here are tired of the dating scene. Local guys are often socially awkward or plain boring. It’s no wonder marriage rates are dropping so low. Japanese men are simply bad at dating. It’s not hard to swoop Kyoto women off their feet. Even simple shows of masculinity and assertiveness will are very attractive to her.
Meet High-Value Kyoto Women On Japan Cupid
I love Japan Cupid as a dating site. They are specialized enough to be successful but they also give you enough freedom.
Much like other Cupid Media sites, Japan Cupid is for connecting relationship-minded Western men to their Japanese love interests.
It’s great for you because you can meet your exact type. There are advanced search features (heck, you can even search by their bra cup size) and limitless browsing. It’s not a marriage agency. You are not confined to a limited number of matches selected for you. The large membership of Kyoto women allows you to explore your options.
It’s also great for the girls.
As I told you, Jap men are notoriously terrible at dating. I am talking 200% beta behaviour.
Even though local men are a safer bet for Kyoto girls, foreigners offer an exciting alternative. You are a novelty (only around 2% of Japan’s population is not Japanese). A different culture means different courting rules and hopefully a bit more masculinity. That is all Kyoto women want!
Finally, unlike Tinder or similar apps, Japan Cupid is for serious relationships. You could, I guess, find a quick fling here. It’s much better if you are looking for a girlfriend or a potential wife. The women here are prepared for an international relationship and all that it entails. At the same time, they come in expecting at least a decent level of commitment. If she is expected to get over the difficulties of intercultural dating, she expects you to commit to her and only her.
Oh, and since it is a premium site, Japan Cupid has the resources to police their platform very efficiently. Scams are rare and fake profiles are not something of concern.
How To Best Use Japan Cupid In Kyoto
Kyoto women can be hard to date at first. If you have no luck IRL, you’d be thankful to have used Japan Cupid.
My best tip is:
Start talking to girls in the weeks leading up to your trip.
At first, you want to connect to as many people as possible. It can be exhausting but it gives you plenty of choices. Screen them quickly, though. By week two, only keep a few girls that you really click with.
At first, you want to connect to as many people as possible. It can be exhausting but it gives you plenty of choices. Screen them quickly, though. By week two, only keep a few girls that you really click with.
Line up the dates for your time in Kyoto.
Don’t overbook yourself. Not all of the women will be as amazing as they were online. Just have the option, especially on your first nights. Worst case scenario: she doesn’t show up and you have to find a girl the old-fashioned way. That is still what you’d be doing if you did not use Japan Cupid.
My point is that Japan Cupid is a sort of safety net. If you are going to Kyoto anyway, of course, you should take advantage of other pickup techniques, too. But Japan Cupid will be there for you, even if other things fail.
Day Game Strategies In Kyoto
If you want to pick up girls on the street, you will need some Japanese. Granted, women in Japan often speak English. But approaching them on the street in English makes you look weird and even a bit creepy.
Here is something I did not realise about Japanese girls:
Most of them are paranoid about dating safety.
This extends beyond day game, of course. You will see it when you are dating online, when you try to arrange a real-life meeting, when you chat up women in bars, etc.
A foreigner approaching her in English feels extremely out of the ordinary to the average Kyoto girl. Not only will you be turned down most of the times you try, but the few times you do get a number it will either be fake or she would have changed her mind.
So what now? If you don’t speak Japanese, you are doomed? Nope, I will tell you how to be smart about the language barrier:
Japanese: To Learn Or Not To Learn
First things first, you will be more successful with Kyoto women if you do speak Japanese. This is just simple math. You miss 100% of the chances that you do not take. You can’t take a chance with a girl that doesn’t speak English if you do not speak her language.
However, I firmly believe Japanese is not essential for dating success. In fact, you can live a very good life – both dating-wise and in every other aspect, without a word in Japanese.
If you do decide to learn the language, consider an online tool. Sites like Rocket Languages have perfected systems to emulate how a child learns a new language. The best way to improve your skills is to practice with native speakers in realistic situations. Rocket Japanese does that, while Duolingo (or your local community college’s courses) doesn’t.
If you are already in Japan, you’re at an advantage. Japanese surrounds you so it’s time to make full use of it. The best way I know to do that happens to also be a way of meeting women. Yes, I am talking about the oh-so-popular site Meetup.com
Why Kyoto Women Love Meetup
The idea behind meetup is helping groups organize themselves for hangouts. Meetups are gatherings of people with similar interests. While the site is not Japanese by any means, it is getting so much attention here.
It helps that Japanese people are naturally introverted and it’s not always easy for them to make friends. Isolation is a huge issue, especially in large cities like Kyoto. Meetup works like Tinder for finding new friends and a community.
Some of the most popular meetups are language exchanges. You go to these events to practice a language that you’re learning with a native speaker. It’s not hard to find Japanese speakers, as you can imagine. You will have to return the favour and speak to them in English for a while, though. This is how language exchange works.
Even if you are not planning on learning Japanese, there are tons of cool Meetups you can join. It’s a fun way to meet new people. And by meet new people, of course, I also mean ‘meet beautiful Kyoto women’.
Japanese is not required for all of the meetup events. You can use the site as the locals do. To hang out with cool people, while doing something you all enjoy.
Kyoto Women: Dating vs Hookup Culture
I’d be lying if I said there is no hookup culture in Kyoto (or Japan). It’s definitely milder than the West, though. For the most part, Japan is very traditional. The girls you meet online, even the ones with the sluttier pictures want a husband and kids. Not right off the bat, of course, but that is their end goal.
On the other hand, the culture is very sexually liberated. Around 15% of all Japanese women have been in porn. They don’t teach you that in sociology class, do they.
My point is: Kyoto is full of good girls but even the good girls are not afraid of getting a little nasty.
If all you want is a hookup, ask her out to a late night thing. Whether it’s karaoke or drinks, planning an activity around the time the last train leaves is a clear sign a hookup is coming up.
On the other hand, if you are interested in the girl for real, you will have to change your dating strategy. Take the time to get to know each other. Make your first date during the day, preferably somewhere that gives you conversation prompts.
For instance, a coffee shop or a tea house is good. An art exhibition is much better. The same goes for any other cultural activity. She will be impressed by your interest in Japan’s art and culture. More importantly, you will have something to talk about, even if you don’t click at the very first moment.
Kyoto Women: In Conclusion
Kyoto girls are not as easy to date as it seems. Apart from the gaijin hunters, other girls will have some reservations about dating a foreigner. If you want to win them over, show them that the stereotype is not true. Always look to stand out from what she is used to (in a positive manner, obviously). Local men are beta? Be an alpha.
Oh, and remember to take advantage of all the resources you have on your side. The Internet is a great place to meet Kyoto women. Be it through Japan Cupid, Tinder, or in a Meetup gathering, you can find online love just as much as you can meet someone at a bar.
Either way, fingers crossed for you!
Remember to come back with your tips, stories, and insights into Kyoto women in the comments below.