Kimoji Teaches Some Brilliant Business Lessons

If you were trying to download something off of the iTunes Store last week and couldn’t, it’s possible it was due to Kimoji.

What is Kiomji, you ask?

It’s Kim Kardashian’s latest brilliant venture in which she provides nothing of value except show off her size-of-the-country-Russia ass.

This business venture is an emoji keyboard with pictures of her ass. Yes, I’m serious. Serious enough that Kimoji brought the iTunes store to it’s knees. Considering that I’ve actually worked on Apple’s data center equipment at a previous job, I can say from experience that this is no small feat.

Now, the final figures as far as downloads and profit are still up in there air (believe who you wish), but Kimoji is so incredibly brilliant that it’s worth talking about.

First off though, I figured I would share a conversation I had with a co-worker (he’s 38 – an “old fart” in his own terms) over instant messenger last week when we saw the news about Kimoji bringing down the app store. Have a good laugh.

Me:
wow…
okay want to know how many downloads it has?
it will make you cry

Friend:
5 million?

Me:
yesterday it took the app store down and it was averaging 9,000 downloads…per SECOND

Friend:
why do ppl like her?
is it chicks of dudes
or*
f- u millenials
please explain to an old fart

Me:
dude i dont know
its this celebrity culture, american bullshit
“my life is so dull and bland i have to worship someone who is COOL”
that
is how pathetic my generation is
they would rather watch some person famous for a having a fat ass than accomplish anything themselves

Friend:
if thats what is we have more problems than Isis and global warming

Me:
thats exactly what it is man
seriously this girl is famous for nothing other than a sex tape, a big butt, and being a cunty drama queen
see also: shore, jersey
THESE PEOPLE ARE AMERICAN’S “IDOLS”

—

Now, let’s take that 9,000 downloads per second and assume it’s correct. Kimoji was selling for $2 per download. That’s $18,000 a second, or a cool $1,080,000 a minute. I have no idea how many minutes the app store stayed up, or how many Kimoji apps have been purchased since – but let’s assume it’s a fair chunk of change.

Putting aside my disdain for the Kardashians as a whole, and reality TV in general, I have to admire the business savvy of the person operating the Kardashian puppet (I certainly don’t think Kim herself is bright enough). I certainly don’t have $1,080,000 in my bank account, so…

Business Lessons From Kimoji

Here’s lessons we all can learn so we can make $1,080,000 a minute…

1.) The Profit Margin on Kimoji Was INSANE

If you take a look at Kimoji in the app store, you’ll see that the majority of the reviews are one and two star ratings. And remember – these are fans of Kim Kardashian! Intelligence is obviously not their forte, and yet even they are rating Kimoji for the sad sack of shit that it is.

And realistically, what do you think the cost to develop Kimoji was? I could easily hire an overseas app developer to do this for a thousand dollars – probably less. I’m sure the overseas freelancers would have bid themselves down to $100 to develop Kimoji.

It is completely feasible that Kimoji was developed for a thousand dollars or less. That is an absurd profit margin.

Lesson Learned: Profit margin matters. Some of the best products today are digital – i.e. they do not have a scaling cost to produce them in number. One time cost to produce, potentially infinite number of sales.

2.) Who Bought Kimoji?

I have absolutely no data on the gender demographics of the iTunes store, but I think it is fairly safe to say that the majority of people who downloaded Kimoji were probably women. The Wall Street Playboys – who also have far more money than I do – are constantly preaching about how women should be your target audience for a product. They’re more impulsive, emotional, and to top it off – plenty of them in America sit around and do nothing but spend hubby’s money all day.

These same women who sit around bored all day as a “housewife” are the same women idolizing Kim Kardashian and drooling over her lifestyle. Again, this is absolutely brilliant. Kim’s business manager sat down and realized that:

1. Kim’s market is primarily female
2. These females all want to “be like Kim”
3. Developing a product that gives them a chance to “be like Kim” will sell like hotcakes
4. Developed a product that can scale well and at an absurdly low production cost

Lessons Learned: Men are more logical and likely to research a product before buying. Women are the impulsive ones. Stupid, gimmicky products like this are a woman’s domain.

3.) Scaling

Already discussed this briefly above so no need to go further into it. All you have to know is this: Kimoji cost a flat rate to develop one time. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that the app developer is getting a commission on every sale. The Kardashians have the power, money, and status to get whatever they want on their terms – every time.

Sure, there might have been secondary costs to get Kimoji updated or fixed, but these are minimal at best and were likely ironclad into the contract before Kimoji was released to the public. To top it off, I highly doubt they’re actually updating the app considering the continued bad reviews Kimoji is receiving on the app store.

4.) Brand Power of Kimoji

Kim Kardashian as a whole is nothing.

She got famous because of a (crappy) sex tape.

She has remained famous and wealthy byappearing on a large variety of crappy television shows in which she and her family act like morons, often at the expense of others. I mean, one of their (many) ex-husbands – basketball player Lamar Odom – nearly killed himself in a brothel. Of course, as soon as possible the entire family appeared in the hospital on their reality show. Real classy.

She’s gone through multiple husbands and is certainly not an example that any decent parent would want their daughter looking up to.

But despite all of this, Kim Kardashian is a brand. She is Kimoji. She has such a loyal audience  that she could auction off her own feces on her website and people would be on a wait list to buy it. Much of this following is directly because of our celebrity-worship American culture, but there is simply no discounting the brilliance of the business plan behind Kimoji.

Kimoji Bottom Line

To summarize:

Profit Margin: Developed for $1k, sold for $1m.

Women Buy: So market for them.

Scale: Infinite sales off of one time development. Or, at least until the iTunes store breaks.

Brand: Despite accomplishing nothing, Kim Kardashian is a brand that sells.

Leaving your opinions of the Kardashians themselves aside – what do you think of the Kimoji business venture? How can we apply these lessons to our own businesses? Comments are always welcomed so leave them below.