Last updated: May 1, 2019

If Your Girl Has Been Around, Does It Matter?



A reader on Facebook asked an interesting question when it comes to how much a girl has been around, if it should matter to you, and we had an interesting discussion…

Here’s his original question:

“If you are genuinely her best does her notch count matter as much as you think?”

My response:

My $0.02 is that it actually doesn’t matter that much, as long as you are her best and stay her best. For me at least, it was always more of just a general…disgust, I guess you could say.

Ex: I just don’t want the mother of my kids to have slept with 15 dudes…just personal taste.

His further response:

I have also struggled with this and believe it relates to paternity concerns on a biological/hind brain level. The risk you run, which is real is that you get that virgin, make a happy home, pump out some kids, she starts to wonder and blows it all up an jumps on the cc. I have dated woman like this, faithful husband’s, great providors, good in bed (her words) ticks all the boxes and she leaves him to go on a sex rampage.

To which I said:

It’s definitely biological on some level. I also think, *in this day and age* (did not apply before the recent sexual revolution), it may be better to have the girl who is not a virgin, but a low notch count so she doesn’t have that bent-up curiosity. If she’s had a couple before you, and you do sling the D better than them…

Some other thoughts…

Prior to the last few years or so, if you had a girl who was indeed a virgin, you had better odds simply because of the environment of the world.

(i.e. no Tinder, Seeking Arrangement, etc, etc.).

In the last few years, that has changed a LOT.

What worked for grandpa ain’t gonna work for you…

Here’s a story for you though.

The 27 year old virgin who went on TV…

I was watching “90 Day Fiance” recently (yeah yeah, totally guilty pleasure of mine, sue me…), and there was a Spanish man who waited until he was 27 years old (!) to lose the good ‘ol V card…


I was a pretty late bloomer myself, and man oh man, I don’t think I could have waited much longer (and it was nowhere near as long as he did).

The good news for this dude:

His new wife was also a virgin, and was also 18 years old and quite cute.

So, I guess sometimes maybe it’s worth the wait…

Naw, who am I kidding. Still too long.

Which leads us to this question from a reader:

In your honest opinion how important is sexual success to the quality of every other category of a man’s life? Is it possible for a virgin male to be truly fulfilled and have a positive identity?

Fulfilled with a positive identity? Probably…

This Spanish guy seemed reasonably self confident. But I still don’t see why you would wait, personally. Knowing that time is finite, and that you only have so many years on this planet, and only so many of those years are good years, and only so many of those are in your true physical-sexual prime…

*I* don’t think it’s a good idea to wait.

But, that’s just me, and I didn’t write the manuscripts that tell you to wait until you’re married.

Now, this part is important:

WITHOUT the RELIGIOUS upbringing, virginity for a male is just a sin.

It’s a dark, dark cloud that just hovers over your head. You feel like less of a man because of it. Unless you’ve been raised and taught that that’s how it’s supposed to be, you’re probably going to feel like you are less of a man.

And yes, this will reach to other parts of your life.

So, use it and lose it, if you ask me.

Thankfully, a V card is a trait that can be fixed pretty easily – especially in today’s modern world.

Leave your thoughts about all this below…

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