Last updated: April 7, 2019

I Thought I Would Die On A Thai Jetski



From the desk of Kyle Trouble

Location: Phuket, Thailand

I clutched on for dear life as she attempted to maneuver the jetski into a simple turn.

You have to give it gas in order to make it turn, completely opposite of how a car moves.

I felt the machine lurch side to side, and thought about the agreement I’d previously signed that I’d have to pay $X,XXX if this machine were to capsize and the engine got flooded.

She gave up on turning and straightened the vehicle out.

Began to apply a little bit of throttle.

Then all of it.

No easing into it.

I was thrown back and nearly fell off the back of the jetski.

Back down to no throttle.

Into her ass I crashed (no problem there).

So on and so forth went this adventure, me trying to explain how to drive a vehicle that is not intuitive to drive at all, especially if you don’t know how to operate a car…

Eventually, I put the non-existent brakes on this little experiment, had her climb back around and hold me, and we enjoyed the rest of the time on the jetski, zipping amongst the little bays of Phuket in Thailand.

So, the lesson from this story is…

Simply put, my woman doesn’t know how to drive.

Not because she’s a terrible driver like most women are (har-har), but because she’s never had the opportunity, or even necessity, to learn. Growing up in a place like Ukraine, with a metro system that gets you there in half the time of a car in most cases…what’s even the point? Her mother, over 50 years old, still doesn’t have a driver’s license, and likely never will.

Again, what’s the point?

It’s these sort of moments that fascinate me, especially give that I grew up racing karts at high levels, and feel more than comfortable behind any motorized vehicle. I felt confident enough to rent a scooter in Thailand, and immerse myself in the absolute shit-show that is Thai driving (and dodging clueless tourists).

The girl wanted to take the scooter out for a spin, but after I explained how to apply the throttle for that one, she decided that it wasn’t for her (nor would I have allowed that).

Anyways, you might be wondering, what’s the point of all this?

Mostly just to illustrate how different other parts of the world are. Many Americans don’t even have passports. They live in a bubble, afraid of the world, and yet something as simple as driving a car to the market, something we take so for granted, is something that eludes the best and brightest of many foreign countries. It’s simply crazy how the world is.

To wrap this up:

I got a pretty nice little response about me starting that premium newsletter earlier this week, so perhaps I will fire it up. If so, what would you want to see in it?

Click here and let me know.

PS: I’m often asked how I “handle” my relationship, because as you can see from the story above, I’m relatively in charge, and she respects the decisions I make for us.

And, simply put, while I’m not running any “super player” game anymore, much of the tactics I discuss in this book still apply.

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