Last updated: June 23, 2018

How to Get Laid on OkCupid



I’ve been using some form of online dating on and off for a solid five years now, and during that time OkCupid has proven to be one of the more consistent methods of getting girls. With that being said, it’s got it’s pros and cons, all of which I’ll discuss (and more) in this guide of how to get laid on OkCupid.

The most important thing to remember about any online dating site is that it always comes down to a numbers game. That’s pretty much how dating works in general. It’s always going to take X amounts of nights out to get Y numbers, Z dates, etc. 

Online dating is no exception to this. So I won’t fill your head with crap about how you can get 5,000 responses a week if you apply the advice in this article. What I will promise is that if you follow this guide, put in the work, and tweak as needed—you will learn how to get laid on OkCupid.


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How to Get Laid on OkCupid


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Many people assume that only “male model 10s” get any sort of date on any platform of online dating. Tinder, OkCupid,, or even sugar daddy dating sites.


Even if you’re ugly and poor you can still get dates on OkCupid. It’s just a matter of stretching the truth…a bit. Don’t feel bad and go all ethical on me, either.

Do you really think the girls use the first photo they take on their profile? Most likely, every single one of their photos was taken a hundred times, and the best one picked—from lighting, angles, clothes, etc.

If you want to learn how to get laid on OkCupid, think of it as putting your best foot forward.

For a man, the 1-10 rating is based almost entirely off of looks.

If she’s not overweight, that likely places her at a 6 on the scale to start. For simplicity’s sake, I’m talking about American (not so much in Europe) body types, which usually ere on the side of obese. If she has an excellent body (i.e. better than average) and a good face, she will probably be an 8. After that, it’s subjective.

One man’s 8 will be another man’s 10.

Another man’s 9 will only be a 7 to the guy next to him.

However, the foundation of the 1-10 rating scale is solid because men generally agree that beauty, femininity, and fitness can all be judged the same based around a pair of boobs and a vagina.

If only women were so simple.

Women are attracted to power, money, confidence, and charisma.

A fat man with all of these qualities in spades will still be able to attract women, and will even be loved by them. A fat woman with these qualities is the woman who ends up on the TV show Hoarders for owning too many cats.

All other things being equal, a man who is in shape will likely do better than one who is fat, but the difference isn’t as marked as that between a fat and slim woman.

It’s easy to display power, money, confidence, and charisma on your OkCupid profile.

How to Get Laid on OkCupid


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Despite what I mentioned in #1, you do have to get your foot in the door. This means having a good profile picture(s). If you don’t have this, she won’t click through to your profile to see how charismatic you are.

Here are five photo guidelines you should follow to get laid on OkCupid. The same rules also apply to other platforms, such as Tinder.

  1. Your first photo should be the best photo of you in existence—duh. Yes, it’s going to take some testing to figure out what this photo is.
  2. Keep others out of it—unless you’re the center of attention. This means you don’t use a photo where you’re one of 12 people and you’re standing at the end. Not very alpha.
  3. Don’t be too juvenile—leave the keg stand photos from college in your private collection, not on your dating profile.
  4. Too many photos is bad. Women are actively looking for a way to NOT talk to you. Using too many photos will actively keep you from getting laid.
  5. Leave the shirt ON—it’s outplayed. The only exception is if you’re “active” while doing it; i.e. surfing, playing beach volleyball, etc.

You would be amazed at how many people don’t use their best photo as their main profile picture. I’ve looked over and reviewed dozens of men’s profiles at this point and it is a consistent pattern. I don’t even think its bad taste—it’s simply a lack of knowledge.

Girls in general, especially in today’s world of selfies, are all amateur professional photographers when it comes to getting the angles just right to illuminate (read: manipulate) their features exactly to the way they want.

I normally 100% dissuade men from taking dating advice from females, but this is the one exception.

You can absolutely ask your female friends, sister, or hell, even your mom what the most physically attractive photo of you is. Their answers may vary a bit but you can use it as a baseline to start your testing.

Which leads me to…

How to Get Laid on OkCupid


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If you really want to learn how to get laid on OkCupid, you’re going to have to develop your own personal formula to success. Think of it as a business.

Do you think Coca-Cola just hands money out to advertisers and tells them to put on a commercial, billboard, or other form of advertising?

Hell no.

Coca-Cola tests whether orange or green buttons convert best on their website. They put people into focus groups to see how they react to ads. They measure whether a price of $9.97 or $9.99 sells more (hint: it’s usually the 9s).

They will analyze everything under the sun to see what works best and brings them the most sales. And if you think about how to get laid on OkCupid, it’s similar.

You’re selling yourself. Doesn’t it make sense to test to see what sales method converts best?

Be willing to change your profile, photos, etc. around. Just don’t do too much at once.

It makes no sense whatsoever to change the entire profile, because then you won’t know what girls are responding to. Far better to change things slowly but surely and tweak over time. I suggest you keep a spreadsheet of this, too.

Finally, my final piece of advice about testing is to also not get hung up on the small details. For example, let’s say you want to change your paragraph about interests.

Say the original profile was this: I like to ride my mountain bike and travel.

It won’t do you ANY good to change it to: I like to see the world, and ride my bike on mountains.

Do something different that will provoke a different EMOTION.

Example: I enjoy seeing the world and exploring all the quaint and unknown beauty in it. Sometimes I bring my bike along and ride down mountains at epic, breath-taking speeds. It makes me feel close to death…but also more alive than I’ve ever felt.

That is a major change that will show you which one is more successful. It’s also very vivid and emotional, something that women respond well to.

How to Get Laid on OkCupid lie

#4: “LIE”

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Like I said earlier, girls use the best photos because they know what men want.

So give girls what they want. Give yourself a bit “extra” in the areas that are important. Now, this has to be within reason.

Height & Weight

This is one of the things you can get away with lying about, and you absolutely should be lying if you’re less than six feet tall. Girls will hold it against you if you’re not up to their height standards, so you should give yourself a little boost, so to speak.

Understand that you must be reasonable with this. If you’re 5’6″ but indicate that you’re 5’11”, she’s going to realize it immediately upon meeting you, and won’t be too happy about the matter. Two inches is the maximum amount you should add on to your height.

This is all assuming that you are a charmer in person and can deflect any shit tests about your lie, or just be so damn attractive she simply doesn’t care that you’re a few inches shorter than what you claimed.

First, let’s tackle guys who are naturally skinny or thin. Writing down that you are in fact, skinny or thin, isn’t as attractive as athletic or fit. However, skinny people are usually relatively fit. So just put fit or athletic. There are a lot of grey areas of what constitutes a body type on online dating 🙂

On the other hand, if you’re overweight, you need to be more careful. Under no circumstances should you put that you are full figured or curvy. Those are girly terms.

If you’re really big, and can’t get by with putting average, just put overweight and own it. If you’re 20 pounds overweight, put average. “Average” in today’s world is pretty subjective, and girls abuse it to no end. No reason you shouldn’t either.


Income is something you should exaggerate a bit to swing the odds in your favor. Just like height though, you want it to be reasonable. If you make $75k a year, you could get away with $100,000-$150,000 selected as your pay range on OkCupid.

That’s a bit of a lie, but not so far off that she could “tell” the difference at first glance. And this article is about how to get laid on OkCupid—not find a girl to marry. 

Now, if you put that you make $250,000, but you live with roommates and drive a crappy car, some warning bells are going to go off in her head.

okcupid questions


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OKCupid has a questions and matching system that rates your compatibility with girls via their algorithm. These questions range from sexual fantasies, politics, and general lifestyle information.

While these questions won’t make or break you in the majority of cases, some girls do have specific rules that they won’t respond or go out with a guy who isn’t at least a certain percentage match with them. From experience, their rule is about a 70% match requirement.

A lot of times I get asked: How many of these questions should I fill out to find the best formula how to get laid on OkCupid?

The correct answer is that you should fill out just enough to make it seem like you care, but not so many that it looks like you have no life beyond filling out OKCupid questionnaires. You should answer a minimum of fifty questions but I would not recommend filling out more than about two hundred.

For those of you brand-new to OKCupid, I’ve yet to discover exactly how many questions you can answer. I’ve seen girls with over three thousand questions answered on their profile—steer clear of them 😉

While you have to do the minimal work, girls don’t usually dig too deep into the questions on your profile. They’re too busy answering the dozens of messages they get from guys.

Secondly, they love answering the questions themselves.

These questions are “chick crack”, just like the quizzes in Cosmopolitan magazine. Most of them are too self-centered to be bothered reading the questions of their potential dates, preferring to just answer hundreds or thousands about themselves, and giving you plenty of information about them.

You can easily tell which ones are high-maintenance, nice, or just plain sluts. Use common sense.

How to Get Laid on OkCupid


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This is a very critical piece of the puzzle regarding how to get laid on OkCupid.

You should only message girls if they are “Online Now!”

There is no circumstance where you should message a girl for the first time if she’s not currently online.

Prior to the age of smartphones, people usually checked their email only at specific times throughout the day. Your average person would typically check their email in the morning before work or school, again on a lunch break, and then once that evening.

During those time frames, all email business was conducted, meaning all email was read and responded to. If the person checked their email at 7:00pm on the dot, and you didn’t send your email to them until 8:00pm, then you were out of luck.

You’d have to wait until the cycle started again the next morning, or call them on the phone.

Of course, nearly everyone these days is connected to their email on a 24/7 basis.

However, OkCupid is not as main-stream as email. Many people only have specific blocks of time in which they check their profile and respond to messages.

Yes, smartphones have apps but many people have those notifications disabled—so as to not get busted by a boss in a meeting or something of the sort. Stick to the girls who are online at that very moment. Yes, this means that the majority of your messaging will probably be in the evening.

Last pro-tip: Avoid messaging on Friday and Saturday nights. You (should) have better things to do, and girls know it, too.

How to Get Laid on OkCupid red flag


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We live in a funny world at the moment. In modern times, real life seductions in bars and on the streets are much more likely to be seen as “creepy”. That’s because there’s so many guys with terrible game out there. They respond well to advanced and skilled players.

Meanwhile, online dating has transitioned from being a medium where desperate singles congregate, to a socially acceptable way to meet members of the opposite sex. This is true to drastic levels in places like Thailand, Brazil, Spain, and Ukraine.

Of course, without proper game, you’re certainly not guaranteed to lay quality girls when you starting meeting up with cuties from OKCupid. In fact, most of them are not high quality. This doesn’t mean they’re ugly, but rather, that most of them will be too shallow and dumb to lock down a good man while they still have their youthful looks.

Even with low quality girls, when it comes to seduction, the more you try, the worse you will do. If you’re actively seeking a relationship, and bemoaning the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend, you’ll likely reek of desperation. For this reason, I firmly believe you should not be using online dating to find a serious relationship. It’s very possible that you might find one eventually, but it’s more likely to take dozens of dates before you actually meet a woman who is worth committing to.

Rather than screening for a girl in the hopes of finding a relationship, while not pushing for sex, and dropping dough on expensive dinner dates, doesn’t it make more sense to not go for that?

Push for sex, don’t spend money on her beyond basic dating costs, and guess what—if she’s truly a quality girl, she’ll find a way to hold off on the sex but still keep you genuinely interested in getting to know her.

That kind of quality girl is not the norm.

Therefore, you might as well get your dick wet in the process. To facilitate this, you can use the answers to her questions, as well as other details throughout her profile, to screen if she’s down for sex or not.

The easiest way to do this is to examine the questions she’s answered, and sort them by the ‘sex’ category itself. Often, you’ll encounter a profile where she didn’t answer any sexual questions. Instead she has passed on many of them in an attempt to seem innocent.

You’ll have to judge for yourself by messages and texts how down she is. If you get the vibe she is a prude, I recommend just moving on. There are more than enough other girls in the OKCupid waters to satisfy you.

However, if she’s answered sexual questions, these give great insights into how quickly she will hop into bed with you. The first question I look for is one I’ve mentioned in a previous chapter:

Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. As far as you’re concerned, how long will it take before you have sex?

  • 1-2 dates
  • 3-5 dates
  • 6 or more dates
  • Only after the wedding

The second important question I look for is:

Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?

  • Yes
  • No

From my experience, these two questions alone will give you a great glimpse into her sexuality.

I’ve found that if she says she’ll consider sleeping with someone on the first date, and says it will take 1-2 dates to have sex—she probably actually won’t go on a date with you, much less have sex with you.

This is probably due to more men messaging her due to her supposed promiscuity. The second reason I suspect is that most women who put this are simply on OkCupid for the attention that is reaped upon them.

It’s an ego boost.

Granted, I did get one or two very easy notches from girls that listed the above answers to the questions. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve found they are usually just a pain in the ass and not worth the effort.

On the other hand, the girl who answers ‘3-5 dates’ and ‘no’ will absolutely hop into bed with you on the first night if you play your cards right.

Most women in their “right” mind will rationalize that they are not sluts, would never sleep with a guy on the first date, and must be taken out at least a couple of times before jumping into bed.

It’s all just a game—so that when she does sleep with you on the first date she can tell her friends that sex “just happened”, much like a Disney romance.

How to Get Laid on OkCupid


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Online dating doesn’t need to be difficult, but it does take work and effort.

OkCupid is a platform that has been around for a long time, and it’s had it’s ups and downs. More than likely though, it will continue to have a large user base, so it’s worth it to have an OkCupid profile in your arsenal.

If you’ve got questions about your profile, messages, or anything else, leave them below.

Good luck,
– Kyle

PS: If you enjoyed this article, I suggest you check out Cracking OkCupid.

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Leave a Reply

  1. Nice info & write-up, Kyle. Some very good tips and things I might not have realized.

    I’ll definitely tell you that if you can get away with it lie about your age, too. I’m pretending to be about 32 while I’m certainly much older (it doesn’t hurt most people think I’m younger). I had heard that OKCupid won’t let you search for younger women anyway, so I set up my profile using that.

    I would recommend doing the same on others sites because if you’re in a an older age bracket the quality and range of women you’ll get search results for will be dramatically worse if you don’t, because the women you want will have filtered you out.

    Finding little but fatties, single moms, and 30+ women with personal issues is very discouraging.

    I would love to hear comments about how much time women will waste on online dating sites, too. Perhaps I need to learn game, because I’m considered good looking/very fit/well dressed but haven’t had great luck getting serious takers both online & Tinder. It’s extremely frustrating how much time women today will waste.


    1. Depends where you are in the world, man. If you’re older and have it together, you could kill it in a place like Ukraine at 40. No problem getting an early 20s girl.

      In America, much harder.

      But yeah, you do owe it to yourself to learn game and find some success if you’ve got it together in the rest of your life! Let me know if you got questions. Consider checking out my text/Tinder course, too:

      If you buy it and send me an email I can give you some other bonuses as a resource too.

  2. If you want to get laid just write “I want to get laid”.
    There are loads of women who want that.
    That said, a normal woman would not have sex with a man she just meets because of safety issues. Therefore a prostitute is a better option because it is their business and they have a strong safety net in place.
    I have received MANY really nice invitations from men (Museum, sporting event, concert, art opening, ballet tickets, etc.) I say great, yes, let’s plan a date. Who knows. We might have a good connection and at the very least have a good time.
    All of a sudden it is “well – let’s meet for coffee first”.
    This is obviously a loser guy who brags about his home, boat, job, special events, money, etc. which he will NEVER share with you. All he wants is sex.
    Listen guys – if you want sex just say “ I want sex only”. See how you do with that.
    Personally I have never had sex with a man I met on OK Cupid. The guys lie and are so lame in their approach I would not let them kiss me nevermind invite them to have sex with me.
    The coffee date is overrated. I have coffee in my home. Is Dunkin’ Doughnuts a good chic magnet? If you think so, go with a pro or simply write “hookup only”.

  3. I just signed up for OKC and man, it was a horror show. I actually deleted my profile within a few hours. I got so turned off by all the nasty, ugly girls I just felt it was a total waste of time. If that’s the best their algorithms can match me up with, it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t even get hard for these so called broads.

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