Recently I was swapping emails with a fella who was one of the first people to buy my book on OKCupid. Turns out he had read my ‘5 Tips‘ post that was originally penned in January 2014, and had taken that advice to great success. He had asked for an early copy, and had a few other very specific questions regarding the OKCupid strategies he should utilize. There was question in particular that stood out to me – and I think it’s something a lot of my readers could learn something from.
In a nutshell, his problem was:
He lives 30+ miles from the nearest major city, in the middle of nowhere. But, while I won’t reveal the specific name of that major city – trust me, it’s major. A large European hub for both transit and tourism, we’ll leave it at that. He was worried that distance may be a factor as to why his response rate isn’t as high as he liked. Here was my exact response to him:
Since you’re 50km away from <city name, redacted>, are you willing to travel TO <city>to meet girls? If so, just lie about it! Put yourself in a zip code only 10km outside of the city. They needn’t know any better, but just understand that your chances of a one night stand are much less, unless she has her own place. If I were you, I’d try to set up one or two days a week to go into the city – and go on 2-3 dates. Set up a lunch date, an afternoon date, and a dinner/drinks date. That way you’re being time efficient. Bring your laptop and get work done in between, if you needed. The distance is absolutely a factor, but I assume at that salary (ed note: it’s very respectable) and with limited options, you’re willing to travel if absolutely needed.
Frankly, I think the distance is a HUGE factor – do you have any idea what your overall response rate is? I would make a couple of the small changes I suggested above and cut your distance down, while maybe adding one or two more pictures. I bet that will significantly increase your response rate.
Now, I have more I want to add on to this – I’ve given it a fair bit of thought over the last week. This is mainly because I really get the appeal of living outside of the major city to save money. If I were to move to another part of California rather than Los Angeles, I could chop my expenses by at least 60%.
I would undoubtedly lie about my living situation if it resulted in more bangs.
There is NO doubt in my mind I’d do it, and you should, too.
I dedicated an entire chapter to “exaggerating tactics” in Cracking OKCupid, and I don’t think this is any different. Who cares if you live 30 miles outside of the city? It’s not that much of an exaggeration to say you only live 10 miles outside, especially if you’re willing to do a little bit of travel to make bangs happen. Frankly, you’re going to need to have an open mind about the travel. Remember that young females have a significant edge as far as their sexual marketplace value goes. If she’s got 25 cocks willing to service her in her own city, do you really think she’s going to trek 30+ miles into a suburb or small town to meet you? Unlikely.
Now in most cases, I’d never advocate traveling to a girl. She should always travel to you, for many reasons. Firstly, because you are the high value person – and high value people have people come to them, not the other way around. Secondly, you want to have control of the situation. The man should pick the venue based off of his own logistics, pick when to leave, and then offer her an invite to his place. Leave these choices up to women, and you’ll end up at a venue that oozes friendship (lots of lights, mostly centered around food) instead of sex (seductive lighting, strong drinks).
BUT, if you’re a short ways out of a major city, I’m afraid your only realistic choice (as far as online dating) is going to be to take the trek into the city. With that being said, here is exactly how I’d handle my reader’s situation if I were in his shoes.
The good news for him, and if you’re European – there’s usually very good public transport that gets you into and out of the city. If you’re anywhere in the USA except NYC…well, you’re probably stuck with driving.
Make Friends In The City
The reason? You want to be able to take entire, weekend-long trips into the major hub. During this time, you can go on a couple of dates. If you have some good friends that are okay with you spending a Friday-Sunday with them – all of a sudden you’ve got several reasons to go into the city once or twice a month. A good weekend could look something like:
- Friday night, go out with the boys. Attempt to pick up girls.
- Have a Saturday branch date with a girl, complete with mimosas or Bloody Mary drinks.
- Perhaps another evening date with a girl, get a hotel room if needed.
- Sunday, spend some time with the guys watching sports.
- Have another date in the evening prior to going back to your small town.
Of course, remember the rule that rules all rules: bros before hoes. If your buddies are game-aware and are good friends, they’ll understand you not spending the entire weekend with them. However, it’s bad form to use them as a hostel to shower and sleep at, while spending the remainder of your time chasing tail.
Unless your buddies are okay with clearing out of their own space and letting you seduce a girl in their pad – you must adjust your expectations. Realize that your chances of a one night stand are going to fall drastically. You counter this by shifting the entire mindset of your dates – perhaps you charm her for an hour and then bow out, making her want more. Based off of how that first date went, you can make tentative plans on a different Saturday evening and get a hotel to seal the deal, if needed.
Different girls call for different plans of action, as well. The 20 year old virgin might need a few dates – great, no problem. You slot her in for those Saturday afternoon dates where you walk around the park, and you set up the girl who gives off the slutty vibe for the night time. Once you have a fair amount of leads going, you can use your best judgment of a girl’s promiscuity to design your dates to maximize your short time in the city with as many leads as possible.
Fuck Her Really Good
Because once you’ve penetrated her a couples times, and done a good job – she won’t be able to get enough of you. Men that know how to have proper, dominant sex with a woman are few and far between. Once she’s addicted to those orgasms with you, she’ll be willing to travel out of the city and spend a weekend with you – on her dime. Of course, you can get girls to do this without even meeting them, as I’ve shown here, but it’s a lot easier once you’ve banged them silly.
If All Else Fails…Move
If your sex life isn’t what you want it to be, you and you alone must take responsibility for it. It could very well be that isolating yourself away from the core population of young females is having a significantly negative impact on your sex life. If the trade offs of lower rent, cleaner living, or job logistics do not outweight having to jerk off all the time, then up and move. You only get one life, and when you’re lying on your death bed I guarantee you’ll regret not pounding all the sweet young poon you could, far more than you’ll regret staying at your sheep job.
If you want more on how to get more dates, bangs, and relationships, go here.