I recently coached a new student.
My job was to observe a couple of his dates, take extensive notes, and coach him through the whole process. He had a track record of a lot of dates, but not sealing the deal. I figured the answer lied somewhere in the way he was conducting the dates.
Well, by the second date, I decided to spice it up a bit. I brought a Game-aware friend, as well as my main girl.
My student had poor body language that we corrected quickly, and my friend and I were both very aware of the problem. However, it was quite interesting to hear what my girl had to say about the situation.
In a nutshell: he was in the wrong seat. Instead of having his back against the wall, she was in the corner. He was leaning more into her than she was into him.
Within five minutes my girl simply said: “Something is wrong. I don’t know how to explain. But it feels too weird. He is trying too hard.”
Keeping in mind, too – she’s fluent in English but it’s not her native language. But regardless – this is a huge insight into the female mind.
Here is a girl who has no “dating coaching” experience. She’s not an expert like I am. She hasn’t studied the science behind it.
But within five minutes of just watching, she could pick up on the cues and simply say that it was wrong.
There is only one conclusion to this.
WOMEN HAVE AN ENORMOUS ADVANTAGE IN THE DATING GAME
I’m not going to whine and say that it’s not fair, but I’m calling it like I see it.
Your average man is hopelessly outmatched against your average women. Sure, the men like Bodi and myself, who have studied this stuff for years, are a step ahead of the average girls.
But your average guy?
It’s not even a fair fight. She’s got a gun and he’s got a goddamn rubber spoon.
A COUPLE KEY POINTS ABOUT DATE BODY LANGUAGE
#1: YOU PICK THE SEAT
From a biological perspective, a man always had to watch his back. In the caveman days, men feared an attack from behind. Therefore, sitting with your back to the wall is the most “powerful” move. It puts you in the throne. It makes her “below” you, in ancestral terms.
#2: NEXT-TO OR PERPENDICULAR
This is back to the real basics – but you should never sit across from a girl on a date.
Never, ever, ever.
Always sit next to her (couch) or perpendicular, where your bodies cross at a right (90 degree) angle.
Again, you should be sitting from a position where you can observe the room, and this makes her full attention be on you. Then you can toy with her a bit by actively glancing around the room and ignoring her a bit.
Don’t overplay that too much though.
#3: NEVER LEAN IN
If you need to get her closer to physically escalate, just grab her and do so. Don’t try to sneak your arm around her, or lean in to her. You are the man.
You are leaning back.
Observing the view.
Watching your kingdom.
She is drawn to you.
As I’ve said hundreds of times on this blog, women have a sixth sense to detect weakness. It’s why the girl I brought on the date was able to just sense that was something wrong, even though she couldn’t put it into words (for the record, I don’t even think a native English speaking girl could have).
Women sense weakness.
They want the best.
So become one of them.
Stop wasting time, it waits for no one.