I recently coached a new student.
My job was to observe a couple of his dates, take extensive notes, and coach him through the whole process. He had a track record of a lot of dates, but not sealing the deal. I figured the answer lied somewhere in the way he was conducting the dates.
Well, by the second date, I decided to spice it up a bit. I brought a Game-aware friend, as well as my main girl.
My student had poor body language that we corrected quickly, and my friend and I were both very aware of the problem. However, it was quite interesting to hear what my girl had to say about the situation.
In a nutshell: he was in the wrong seat. Instead of having his back against the wall, she was in the corner. He was leaning more into her than she was into him.
Within five minutes my girl simply said: “Something is wrong. I don’t know how to explain. But it feels too weird. He is trying too hard.”
Keeping in mind, too – she’s fluent in English but it’s not her native language. But regardless – this is a huge insight into the female mind.
Here is a girl who has no “dating coaching” experience. She’s not an expert like I am. She hasn’t studied the science behind it.
But within five minutes of just watching, she could pick up on the cues and simply say that it was wrong.
There is only one conclusion to this.
WOMEN HAVE AN ENORMOUS ADVANTAGE IN THE DATING GAME
I’m not going to whine and say that it’s not fair, but I’m calling it like I see it.
Your average man is hopelessly outmatched against your average women. Sure, the men like Bodi and myself, who have studied this stuff for years, are a step ahead of the average girls.
But your average guy?
It’s not even a fair fight. She’s got a gun and he’s got a goddamn rubber spoon.
A COUPLE KEY POINTS ABOUT DATE BODY LANGUAGE
#1: YOU PICK THE SEAT
From a biological perspective, a man always had to watch his back. In the caveman days, men feared an attack from behind. Therefore, sitting with your back to the wall is the most “powerful” move. It puts you in the throne. It makes her “below” you, in ancestral terms.
#2: NEXT-TO OR PERPENDICULAR
This is back to the real basics – but you should never sit across from a girl on a date.
Never, ever, ever.
Always sit next to her (couch) or perpendicular, where your bodies cross at a right (90 degree) angle.
Again, you should be sitting from a position where you can observe the room, and this makes her full attention be on you. Then you can toy with her a bit by actively glancing around the room and ignoring her a bit.
Don’t overplay that too much though.
#3: NEVER LEAN IN
If you need to get her closer to physically escalate, just grab her and do so. Don’t try to sneak your arm around her, or lean in to her. You are the man.
You are leaning back.
Observing the view.
Watching your kingdom.
She is drawn to you.
As I’ve said hundreds of times on this blog, women have a sixth sense to detect weakness. It’s why the girl I brought on the date was able to just sense that was something wrong, even though she couldn’t put it into words (for the record, I don’t even think a native English speaking girl could have).
Women sense weakness.
They want the best.
So become one of them.
Stop wasting time, it waits for no one.
This is not shocking since women have always been better in social interactions. They indeed have a sixth sense for picking up non-verbal clues, but this can be found among many men as well. Especially Psychopaths and skilled Machiavellians are experts at reading body language.
There have been studies involving street thugs watching people walking down a street and were ask to estimate whether or not they made a good target. After this little experiment they were separated in two groups. One given body language training and the other group received martial arts training. Then they repeated the experiment and those who had taken body language lessons were seen much less as a target than the martial arts group.
Another study found out, that if your body language, walking speed, etc is even 1% out of sync, many people notice it and believe you to be a good victim.
I currently am working on an article about manipulation tips and will sprinkle it with some body language lessons. Should be released early next week.
Not a surprising conclusion to that study; if you’re forced to live in a world of survival you tend to develop those kind of skills.
Feel free to link that upcoming post to your comment here when it’s done.
I wrote 5.000 words already and am not even remotely close to finishing it. Will have to split it up. Also what came up is certainly even of more interest to you and your readers.
IllimitableMan, Illacertus and I are giving a Q&A session about topics including but not limited to:
– Political Power & Career Warfare
– Deception, Propaganda & Schemes
– Social Interactions, Human Behaviour & Emotions
– The Dark Tetrad (Machiavellianism, Sadism, Psychopathy, Narcissism)
– Morals & Ethics
It will take place come Wednesday.
P.S.: Jak sze masz. Do you speak Polish? If not, tell your girls: Kocham cie Kszieniczka (Pronounced: kochamtje tschiunsnitchka)
Naw, no Polish. I’m out of Poland now (temporarily).
I’m working on Russian.
Sometimes women read way too much into social interactions. Of course, this gets parlayed as “women’s natural superior social interaction skill-age” (aka women > men at yet another thing blah blah blah).
To quote, Kyle, not whining about it…so it’s good to know that women will (over) interpret your body language and such.
If a guy truly is unaware of how awkward he is, even a baby or monkey or a dog can sense it. (I wonder if dog obedience training is another study one can do, e.g. how to translate your dog training skills into people interaction – the notion is that the “master” has to hold frame to a dog).
Well it all depends how you want to look at it.
Superior yes. But because they are unaware and unable to consciously discuss it, perhaps not 😉
Also, way ahead of you: https://thisistrouble.com/2015/01/21/training-girl-strikingly-similar-training-dog/
Nice article, Im just wondering. It is obvious that women want powerful man.
And as your insides are quite interesting it got me wondering.
Powerful men behave in certain way and they do it be default. They don’t need to think where they sit and how they do it, they do it by instinct alone.
Women can sense it, cos they evolved to sense it. They are passive sex. So if you only pretend to be someone you are not sooner or later she will find out.
So question should be not how to sit, use certain body language, but how to become powerful.
For sure you have to be physically strong, but I don’t think that is enough. So how to become mentally strong? Maybe some martial arts or other kind of fighting sports?
1.) Stop taking shit from people.
2.) Cut time wasters and poisonous people from your life.
3.) Make $$$.
4.) Be strong.
5.) Develop leadership skills.
Could go on but that’s a baseline to being “powerful”.
Three words to get you started on the way……ACT AS IF.
Act as if you are a truly powerful man. Always be asking yourself in every situation you encounter “how would a truly powerful man react to or handle this situation?”. Think upon that and then incorporate the answer into your behavioral DNA.
Once you have incorporated these behaviors into your behavioral DNA, you will indeed act like a powerful man naturally and people, men and women, will sense it. When you act like a powerful man, people will treat you like a powerful man. When people treat you like a powerful man, you ARE a powerful man.
Fake it til ya make it!
It was one of the first 2 or 3 dates my husband took me on where due to the set up of the table and where the server stood I went for the seat against the wall Ryan stopped me and simply said “I’ll sit there.” I was confused by like okay – you can sit there.
So I asked him what that was about one time and he said he will refuse to sit with his back to the room if he can avoid it. I said “So, instead someone can sneak up on your innocent GF and scare the crap out of her?” Which he replied “No, I’m watching, that wont happen” with a wink. Which pretty much made me swoon and get all excited.
To this day I always take the chair that has it’s back to the room, that’s my place.
Ohhhhhhh, I like that. I may steal that line.
Props to Ryan!
He had some really good lines when we were first dating. Probably why I turned into such a stalker haha
Well, let’s hear ’em!
I’d have to remember them LOL.
The most prominent was “I don’t care if you go to the club/frat party (or whatever activity)” and then as an aside he’d say “I’d never date a girl who did that though” So now the choice is in my hands. He said I can go – he wont stop me from going – except I wanted his commitment and apparently that behavior is not commitment worthy.
Great reverse psychology!