The Hardest Date of My Life

Everybody is familiar with mental fatigue. That feeling of being just drained after finishing a test or a hard project. That point where you just want to curl up in bed and let your mind rest.

I’d never had that feeling after a date before, but just had my reality shattered by a Ukrainian girl who blew my mind away.

So let’s backtrack.

THE MEET

We met on Tinder, but it was so long ago that I certainly don’t have the conversation still. In fact, she was one of the girls I pipelined when I was back in California, so well over a month. She kept being difficult to get on a date, and from her photos I wasn’t really that into it.

Eventually, things worked out so we met for a drink.

She turned up looking significantly better than her photos online would appear, and I’m not kidding when I say that this girl was close to a 9. Long, silky hair, the sexy catwalk sashay, and impeccable style. If there’s something I’m becoming more interested in these days, it’s a woman’s style. Too many girls wear the same things – Uggs and sweatpants have been replaced with yoga pants and Chuck Taylors.

Not impressive.

Give me the girls who look to stand out in a crowd. This girl had a bright colored scarf that she’d just brought back from Israel. She took a week long trip there recently, where she went to practice her Hebrew.

I should have known from that that I was in trouble.

THE BEST QUOTES

As much as I’d like to weave them into a colorful story, they’re so powerful I think they can stand on their own.

“Why are American girls masculine? Men and women are compatible. I think…man is the head of the relationship. The woman should be the neck. The neck supports the head. But…the head does much better with a neck. It cannot do without.”

“I like to show my emotions. Sometimes…I just cry. I am a woman. I need a cry. That is why I need a strong man.”

“Wait, you mean American girls do not know the different between macro and micro economics? How is this possible?”

“I only kiss men I have strong feelings for. How can an American girls have sex with 50+ men? She must be ruined, her face must have no light left.” (She literally described the 1,000 cock stare)

“Of course I cook. It is a woman’s responsibility.”

“I want kids, though I am not sure about right now. But I think it is a woman’s destiny to be a mother. To nurture. Sometimes I have very vivid dreams where I am pregnant. They are wonderful and beautiful.”

“I want a man who can be my rock. Sometimes…I just want to be a little girl.”

Sure, on paper this sounds like a girl who is easy to “game” – i.e. if you’re on point, maybe you can get her right into bed and own her soul. She seems almost weak. The reality of the situation is this: a woman able to articulate these kind of thoughts, which are congruent to the reality of the world, are the toughest girls in the world to get.

Very rarely have I had dates in my life where I deviate from my usual model and routine. Frankly, I could go on a date in my sleep and do just fine. This girl actually pushed me to an intellectual level where I abandoned the entire model, because it seemed fake as all hell when used on her. Unnatural.

THE REALIZATION

Do you want to know what I said when she said the line about needing a cry?

“All I want right now is to hug you. To wrap you in a cocoon and protect you from the world. To shelter you from all the storms of life and to be safe.”

And I meant every word of that. In that moment, tucked away in a secluded corner of the nice lounge we were in, it felt right.

I realized that if I decide to sire offspring someday, this is the type of girl I’m doing it with. No ifs, ands, or buts. This one is a little “old” for me (she’s 22, I’m 24 – but I won’t be ready for that for quite a while). At the same time, I realize I am still going to have to improve myself if this is the type of quality I want to ultimately end up with.

SO…WHAT HAPPENED?

I know you all want to know if I took her home and brought out her inner slut. I tried, and failed. After a dozen attempts to kiss her in various locations, I walked her to her bus stop and sent her on her way. Despite her protests to the kiss, and her telling me she “didn’t feel that way towards me”, so held my hand, walked arm-in-arm, and wants to come and cook me chicken risotto next week (to show me that there are girls in the world who can cook better than those “weird American girls” in her words).

So the jury is still out on this one. I know the Russian and Ukrainian girls like to play very hard to get. I have no choice but to just continue trying, to weave a cocoon around this girl to form our own world. Something tells me it would feel like it should.

We’ll see how it plays out.

But now, it’s time for a nap after the hardest date of my life.