Last updated: March 9, 2015

Grading OKCupid Interactions



Ready for OKCupid interaction class?

My buddy DCL recently reviewed my book and has been implementing some of the tactics. He actually just went on a date tonight. He asked if I could grade some of his early interactions line-by-line. He’s been making improvements and closed a couple of young 20-something cuties tonight. I look forward to seeing his date reports on those, as well.

Here are some of his early interactions. Note that “ME” is DCL in this case, and my comments are bolded.

The Boring Makeup Slut

ME:  Hey <username>, you have such a pretty face!

“esthetic industry” is that make up?

btw my name is (my name)
Sent Yesterday

Way too nice of an opener. Granted, I live in a cutthroat city and his mileage may vary by being a gentlemen. Also never a good idea to give your name out right away. It’s fun to fuck with chicks and make them guess it, and provides some mystery.

HER: Makeup can be part of it, I only do waxing though. What about you?
Sent at 9:11am

Never a good thing when she doesn’t volunteer her name in return.

ME: Me? Well, the only time I wore any makeup was when I dressed up as one of the guys from A Clockwork Orange for Halloween one year lol Also I’ve never waxed anything either! ha
Sent at 12:14pm

ME: jk lol

I’m a psw and youth personal trainer.
Sent at 12:16pm

Eliminate “jk” and “lol” from your vocabulary.

HER: Right on. Sounds like rewarding work. You obviously enjoy dealing with people on a personal level.
Sent at 12:17pm

HER: Dealing with people on a personal level is one of the joys of being alive.

Sent at 12:20pm

I’ll be honest this girl sounds boring as hell from what I’m reading so far. I hope her last comment was sarcastic. I hate dealing with people.

ME: So is “The loud, the quiet. The ugly, beautiful & everything in between” as you so wonderfully put it.
Sent at 12:21pm

ME: I’m really new to the while online dating thing ha
this okcupid messaging is tedious wouldn’t you agree?
shoot me your number, we’ll grab a coffee sometime
Sent at 12:26pm

Ah! Way too early to be going for a close. She’s done nothing to “earn” the award of spending time with him. Frankly though she seems so dull I might’ve just gone for the close for shits and giggles, but I doubt I’d ever go out with a girl like this.

Sometimes, it’s not bad to throw the Hail Mary out there. The mistake he made was saying “shoot me your number” before her response to getting a coffee anyways. If she agrees, you can then “command” her to do so, but doing that all at once probably scared the cat. 

HER: I agree. It’s not a day well spent if you haven’t had a genuine moment with another human.

Sent at 12:29pm

HER: I’m not crazy about giving my number out all willy nilly
Sent at 12:43pm
Block them Report

ME: I’m trying to get dates so I can meet someone I click with.

thanks for telling me though

Good luck out there!
Sent at 12:54pm

HER: That’s fair. I guess I’m not in a rush. Cheers!
Sent 1:02pm

No need to write her off that fast – sometimes they just need a few more messages before the number. But like I said, she seemed dull.

The Flaky Slut

ME: I was stopped at a red light this morning and the driver next to me caught me singing in my car. Instead of playing it cool, I let er rip and sang even harder. They started laughing. Tell me, do you sing in your car? And if someone saw you would you stop or keep singing?
Sent on Feb 16

Fairly certain this is a canned opener that’s probably made it’s way around the PUA forums – but I kinda like it! While I do advocate the copy-paste banzai, I do touch on one thing in my book that I think is gold: adding ONE personal line to your message by giving her profile a very quick scan. That way it throws off her copy-paste radar. For example, if she says she’s a Yankees fan, you could just add one line in at the end of your message, “PS: Go Yanks.”

HER: That happens pretty often…singing and getting caught. lol I most certainly would keep singing lol Champange Supernova is a great song to know to play! What made you decide to be a PSW?
Sent on Feb 16

This is about as good as a response will get, to be honest. She played along with the joke and asked some questions in return. She’s definitely intrigued.

ME: A good friend of mine owns a youth personal training gym. I worked with him a year ago. My first client was autistic. His mom was so surprised at how quickly and well I got along with him, she suggested I look into support work. And here I am. Having fun and messaging a pretty lady.

I’m interested, what exactly is health promotion? I use to have a nutritionist, she taught me so much, is it something like that? btw cucumbers kick ass
Sent on Feb 16

I’d get rid of the “pretty lady” part. Too much, too fast. 

HER: Hahah cucumbers do kick ass (definitely in the summer)! Good for you PSW a great job but you have to love it! Are you still in school?

More questions: if she’s asking, she’s interested. Remember that, gents.

I work with a nonprofit educating people about seizures. I go to schools and teach, educate health professionals about resources available…basically it’s presentations to educate people.
Sent on Feb 17

HER: I love it and been doing it for 3+ years. I sometimes educate PSWs you may have meet me or we may cross paths professionally.
Sent on Feb 17

It’s not a bad interaction at all, but it’s pretty “serious”. My book has some info about making the conversations more light-hearted.

ME: Educating people about seizures, interesting.

“Are you still in school? ”

I would tell you but I’d rather we got to know each other in person. This okcupid messaging is tedious, wouldn’t you agree? Shoot me your number
Sent on Feb 17

Pitch a drink or coffee first. If she has no interest in meeting then no sense in wasting time getting the number. 

HER: Sounds good, honestly I don’t think I’m meant for the online dating world. If you ever want to meet up some time here’s my (her number).


(her name)

*I text messaged her and had no response.

I asked DCL: Did you text her right after she gave you the number? It’s not uncommon for them to be typing to you on their phone and fuck up their number. If I’m texting her immediate after getting her number, and don’t get a respond within 10, I usually send another OKC message and say “texted”. Often times you’d be surprised how often they miss one digit.

All indicators seemed to think that she seemed interested, but the last line threw me off a bit. She just said she wasn’t meant for online dating but then passed her number out. I’d be curious to know if she deleted her profile right after. I bet she did.


If you don’t have my book, click here for more information about it. I’ve sold over the 25 copies that I promised reviews to, but not many have actually claimed them. Therefore, offer still stands. I’m also happy to review any interactions like the above for those who buy it!

What do you readers think of DCL’s interactions (and my grades)?

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  1. -The Boring Makeup Slut-

    I usually enjoy telling women they’re pretty (if they are). But creating mystery and shutting the fuck up is something I’m working on.

    I agree that I gave my name too early.

    The “jk” and “lol”. I don’t know what I was thinking. They have been eliminated forever.

    It was too early yes. Being new to this I was under the impression it was routine to ask for a number so soon. In my case, no the case.

    I’ve learned to suggest a meeting or something like that before the number.

    Yes I gave up to soon.

    -The Flaky Slut-

    That’s no pua line. That happened to me. Feel free to use it. I like the “PS: ____” good idea.

    I got too cocky and thought I could just reel it in. “Pretty lady” What, am I LARPing? I won’t say that again.

    That one went better, But fizzled because I didn’t know how to close or make the chatting less serious.

    “I’d be curious to know if she deleted her profile right after. I bet she did.” She sure did. What’s up with that? I bet she met someone.

    Kyle thanks for doing this. I’m a bit better a the back and forth now and I wait a bit longer to ask for a meet up. Build a little comfort first, sometimes.

      1. Yes. It’s tomorrow night at some bar I’ve never heard of. A female friend of hers is coming as well. I know I know. But I’m not too worried about that.

        I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself. I just want to get another date out of the way so I can get the hang of things.

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