I recently wrote a post about a girl who I’ve been seeing who is (unsurprisingly) developing some feelings for me. Perhaps a full post is in order on how to handle a girl falling in love with you, but reader Luis did a fantastic job of doing my job for me when he shared this story:
Met this girl on the last night of her Erasmus in my city. Made out in the disco, exchanged numbers, kept talking through facebook.
Eventually she came back twice, spending a week at my place the second time. We really hit it off, she started considering moving here when she finished her studies (in 1 year). We agreed to keep it kinda casual, no promises made, seeing each other once or twice a month at some European city we both could fly cheaply to on a weekend.
After a few of these escapades (this time we were in Paris), she said she felt kind of uncomfortable because even though she liked me a lot, she thought I was a bit of a womanizer. I didn’t deny it, just tried to change the subject. She kept pressing, asking if I was sleeping with other women. I hemmed and hewed, tried to change the subject. No point. I told her she didn’t want to know. She insisted. I told her yes.
She freaked out, cried, asked how could I be like that, why didn’t I respect her… Take note, I really like this girl and am considering a future with her if she eventually does move to my country. But that’s a very big if, and I had already promised myself I’d never put my balls in a jar for a woman again.
So even though I was dying a little inside, feeling that I was going to lose her then and there, I kept my cool. Went to the window, smoked a cigarette, waited for her to run out of steam (thanks, Blackdragon). And then told her “You know how easy it would have been to lie to you? I never lied to you and never will. That’s respect for me.”
She didn’t answer. I went back to bed and turned off the light. Some 10 minutes later, she turns the light on. “I don’t know why but I can’t stay mad at you. I forgive you”. I told her I really liked her, but I wasn’t even sure anymore monogamy worked at all, much less in an LDR. That those other women didn’t mean anything to me. That I wanted to have a future with her, but I wasn’t going to hand my balls to one woman.
We woke up and had some sweet sex. Later at breakfast, she charged again. That she wanted me to stop. I just said “Don’t ask me to lie.” We didn’t talk about it again. I pulled out all the comfort guns along that day before we parted. I woke up the next day to “bonjour, mon amour <3” on whatsapp. She already seemed crazy for me before this (and I won’t hide it, it’s mutual), but she seems even more so since we had this talk.
Came to my hometown this weekend. I got sick on the 2nd day and bedridden on the 3rd. No hint of bitchiness, no “oh you just had to get sick while I’m here”, just took care of me always with a smile on her face. I’m going to her town 2 weeks from now for her birthday on her invitation. Says her friends are dying to meet me. We already made plans for December when I come back from my month long South American trip.
Seems good so far…
And while you should take everything on the internet with a grain of salt, let’s assume he’s not bagging a troll:
Just for context, we’re not talking about a hag with no options here. This girl is extremely hot. 8 years my junior, just finished Law school, has the body of a teenager even though she’s past her mid-twenties… Very pretty and feminine, wears beautiful sexy dresses all the time. Always in a good mood. I’d put her at 9 because she hits all my preferences (even has freckles, which I’m crazy about) but I can imagine a lot of people calling her an 8.
Luis did a great job of dealing with his girl falling in love with him – and it’s strong enough that it’s worth breaking down line by line. While this might seem “cruel” on paper to some, it’s important to note some of the lessons I outlined in “Leave Them Better Than You Found Them” Is Bullshit:
Also, see this.
I just don’t see how it’s possible to ever feel like you left a girl in a “better” place after a breakup. It’s a bullshit rule. There’s always going to be hurt all around. If you love and you’ve lost then she’s done the same. Immediately after it’s loss. A big hole where someone who was a big part of your life is now wide open. I won’t act like a tough guy and tell you I’m not upset. I am. Some drama happened that capped it off. I didn’t think it was repairable.
With that being said, there are a few different ways you can approach a girl falling in love with you.
Option #1: Lie
About seeing other girls.
About how many girls you’ve fucked in your life.
About how you really feel about women (heh!).
About your desires to get married and have a family; or lack thereof.
About the fact that you have a blog about dating and fucking. Whoops.
Option #2: Tell The Truth But Eventually Pussy Out
Option #3: Tell The Truth & PROFIT!
See: Luis above.
Profit = Crazy monkey sex, lovey dovey text messages, and trips abroad. While still fucking other girls.
The next time I feel a girl falling in love with me, I know exactly what to do. Do you?
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