I get a lot of emails asking about my experience playing guitar and how to effectively weld an ax to slay pussy. As I’ve mentioned here, I pretty much learned to play guitar solely for the purpose of trying to get into a pretty blonde’s pants when I was 14. I’ve also written about how I’ve learned not to “rely” on guitar to attract a girl, and that I don’t bother writing songs for them anymore.
You can ask my girlfriend about that, she’ll verify.
Despite this…
It’s cake to get laid by playing guitar.
Why?
- It makes it very easy to get a girl back into your apartment, which is a battle in itself
- It is a great way to demonstrate higher value
- It obliterates last minute resistance
Before I delve into how to get laid by playing guitar, let give a quick background on myself. As I stated, I started playing when I was 14. I’m nearly 23, so I’m approaching a decade of strumming on the six string. Prior to that, I had no previous instrumental training besides playing a gay recorder in 4th grade. But, I am reasonably talented on a musical level – I’ve always had good rhythm and key (except my voice, but that’s another story).
Malcolm Gladwell
say it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert on something, and guitar is not an exception to this rule. At this point, I have put in thousands of hours of practice playing guitar, but probably not 10,000. I can pick up and solo over any song by ear.
I mostly play acoustic fingerstyle, and solos over popular songs. I also dabble with writing acoustic instrumental songs and occasionally I’ll play with a singer and do some open mics or something of the sort.
I never took lessons, I read articles online how to play and am completely self taught.
Why am I saying this? To prove that it takes time to get good and to hopefully ease some of the frustration of learning to play. Because trust me, there will be some.
The good news is, you don’t even have to be remotely good to get laid by playing guitar; keep in mind the title of this post isn’t how to shred. You only need to know four letters of the alphabet.
G, C, E(m), D
Yes, those four letters; i.e. four musical chords, are all you need to play a song to wet a girls panties. The best part of it is that these four chords can be transposed to 95% of songs in existence. Even better, the songs that girls like to hear are usually ridiculously easy to play.
And gay.
Keep it simple, stupid.
You don’t have to know how to shred, all you need to know is how to produce a basic melody and sing along (or hum if you don’t sing well). Don’t worry about hitting specific notes on a fret or getting the beat just right, the melody will do.
Those four chords can be transposed to any pitch using a basic capo
. Alternatively, you can use a pencil and a rubber band to achieve the same effect. The best part about the four chords – you can modify them to make playing them even simpler; you only have to move two fingers at any given point to change chords.
Yes, moving two fingers makes it that easy to get laid by playing guitar.
What songs to play?
Like I said, girls like the stupid shit that will make you feel kind of homo to play. Here’s some ideas that are very, very easy to learn:
- Wonderwall by Oasis
- I’m Yours by Jason Mraz
- Collide by Howie Day
- Fix You by Coldplay
- Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T’s (substitute Delilah for her name, sadly it works every time)
If you want to be a little less homo, here’s a few more ideas that are a little better but are still cake to play, and that she’ll still recognize:
- Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty (the John Mayer version is better for a solo guitar)
- Hotel California by the Eagles
- Time Of Your Life by Green Day
- Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
Most songs off of this list will suffice just fine to get laid by playing guitar.
But wait Trouble – HOW DO I PLAY?!
Relax, relax young one. I got you.
I used this site a lot for my beginner lessons.
I use Ultimate-Guitar to look up tabs and chords.
Here’s an interactive theory website.
I don’t plan on writing full series on how to play guitar, but if people are interested in YouTube videos I will entertain the idea of making them.
You’ve now got all the tools at your disposal to get laid by playing guitar. Shred on.
Really great post. This answered the majority of my questions. When I read this I actually opened up a word document and started taking notes haha.
I can attest that in my LTR, although with all I can do as a father or in my professional life, nothing tingles more my grilfriend then when I play guitar. It is my last ressource to keep her attracted to me. for the moment..
It really is easy now with all the Tabs you can find online nowadays. You can build a repertoire fast. Just be sure to choose the ones with the most and best ratings as sometimes tabs just don’t seem to sound properly.
Not to be a downer, but you shouldn’t have to have a “last resort”. That makes it sound like things are…well, not all swell.
hehehe. Well, we all don’t have perfect lives and relationships do we?? IN good times or bad times, guitar playing really does smooth things out.
I don’t remember where it came from but there was a quote akin to “The recorder is made entirely of children’s tears and nightmares”. It is also gay.
I’m a guitarist myself. I remember my dad (was a guitar and bass teacher on top of everything else) gave me the best piece of advice when I started out: “Lots of people want to go straight to electric and then they fizzle out. Learn on and get great with an acoustic. If you can master that, THEN move onto electric.” I remember playing metal on an acoustic and even playing “Whiplash” by Metallica at one point. Once I felt confident on acoustic I bought my first electric and blew everyone away.
Plus (at least in my case), if you injure yourself on-stage (I have multiple times because I’m a dumbass) there is generally no shortage of women willing to “massage” your wounds.
I have to say I completely disagree, well sort of. With all due respect to the writer of this blog, I’ve been playing guitar about twice as long as he has been alive.
The caveat to this is if you are a PROFESSIONAL guitar player meaning you go on stage perform live and get paid for playing. What the young Jedi is missing is confusion over results and assigning incorrectly causation. It wasn’t the guitar that got you laid, she had already made that decision and you assigned the guitar as the reason why.
Now, if we are talking about someone who is playing a club, that is an entirely different story. In that situation, you have greater social proof/value than ANYONE in the club. If you are out looking to meet a girl/woman then you have already been paying attention to which women are giving you indications of interest. So when you go an introduce yourself while on the set break its a situation where your approach is DESIRED and all you have to do from that point is not screw up. The downside is you are almost always going to have to get her number and follow up with her later because it’s rare that she is going to hang out until 2 when the bar closes and then the additional 30-45 minutes after that to tear down your gear and put it into your vehicle.
So yes, getting laid because you can play the guitar is partly true. You have to be good enough that you are able to play clubs for $$ and that requires a HUGE amount of dedication, practice, and focus. There are easier ways like working on game, understanding social dynamics, the science behind attraction, and understanding body language and recognizing when a woman via body language is telling you to approach her… Knowing those things will produce far greater results FASTER than learning how to play the guitar. You should be learning how to play the guitar because its a deep-seated internal drive motivate by the pure love of music and the instrument.
Very possibly the most stupid comment ever written on this site.
Disappointing old man.
You never had game.