Say Auf Wiedersehen to German girls stereotypes. We’re here with the truth!
In this comprehensive guide:
What do you picture when I say German woman? A chubby, pale, scary-looking Aryan lady? Or one of those girls in low-cut shits at the Oktoberfest?
Well, the typical German girl is neither of those. Though she might wear a tavern maiden costume if you ask her nicely…
Heidi Klum, Claudia Shiffer, and Diane Kruger are all household names in the West. But will you meet your own Heidi in Berlin? Not necessarily.
Ethnically German girls tend to be tall, blonde, and blue-eyed.
However, the skinny look is absolutely not in fashion right now. I think it’s because of all the eating disorder prevention campaigns. Dieting and actively trying to stay thin are frowned upon in Germany. It’s all about staying healthy, not stick-thin.
German girls are also very low-maintenance. They prefer a natural look – no high heels, heavy makeup, or flashy jewellery.
The typical everyday outfit consists of a messy bun, dark-wash jeans, a simple t-shirt or a sweater, and a large tote bag. In winter, they’re not afraid of bundle up. On colder days you can barely see their faces with the huge scarves and the fluffy hats!
Germany has a huge Turkish diaspora and large immigrant groups from other countries, too. The first thing to know about these women:
They’re not necessarily more open-minded than girls back home.
I found Turkish girls in Berlin to be way more conservative than Turkish women in Turkey. I don’t have experience with Middle Eastern women in Germany. However, I have good reason to believe they’re the same.
That said, you can meet some cute immigrants in Germany.
It’s a welcoming environment and many girls are second or even third-generation. They share a lot with German girls, even if they preserve their culture.
Obviously, looks-wise immigrant girls are different. There are a lot of black and brown women in Germany, as well as other non-Aryan girls. This might be subjective, but find them to be more feminine. Turkish girls especially put a lot of effort into their looks. If high-maintenance is your thing, try to meet some Turks in Germany!
This is a common stereotype and… Yes, it is kind of founded on reality. German people (and by extension, German girls):
It’s not as bad as it sounds, though. German women’s biggest “sin” is they are way too blunt. All the other qualities – punctuality, honesty, ambition, aren’t exclusively German. The only thing that set Germans apart is they don’t always express themselves diplomatically.
They never express themselves diplomatically.
The biggest challenge when dating in Germany is despair. From the first time you meet a girl, she will be no-BS level straightforward.
If she tells you that she’s not interested, you can’t change that. If you make a stupid joke, she won’t laugh to ease tension. If you do something she hates, she won’t avoid confrontation… It goes on and on, and this is why many foreign men find it hard to date Germans.
On the plus side, Germans do know how to have fun. Just check out one of the many music festivals, or the LSD-powered Berlin nightlife scene. There is plenty of crazy, fun, spontaneous stuff going on in Germany, it’s not all work and no play!
Impressing a German woman doesn’t include:
In fact, all three of these are pet peeves for German girls. Because they want to be independent and assert gender equality, subtle ‘macho’ behaviour is a turn-off. She can buy her own drinks, choose what she wants to get at the restaurant, and doesn’t need to be touched by a random guy at the bar.
Ok, but what about compliments…?
German girls value honesty above flattery. It’s not that they don’t like compliments, they hate dishonest ones. If you’re trying to get her to bed, you are better off just telling her that. Excessive compliments come across as insincere.
That said, compliment her well and you’ve won the game!
German girls like to be complimented on:
Comments about her looks can work…personally, I don’t use them. German girls are a little more sensitive to subtle sexism. Even if you make a well-meaning and innocent comment, it can sound like a microaggression to her. An example:
Dude: I love you in that dress, you look so feminine!
Girl: Oh, so I can’t be feminine in pants? Jeez..
I’m not taking sides in this situation. However, there is clearly a misunderstanding and the girl gets offended (by the way, this is taken from an actual situation I witnessed). To avoid accidentally hurting your German crush’s feelings, don’t make compliments based on appearance.
Ultimately, German girls either like you or they don’t.
Their decision will be final either way. Your first encounter usually determines how the relationship goes… And trust me when I say, once she forms her opinion, it is set in stone. That’s why, rather than putting an outrageous amount of effort in impressing her, you should mostly focus on being yourself and not accidentally offending her.
As cliché as this sounds, German girls hate men who pretend to be someone they’re not. You’d be smarter to tell her what you want (no need to be a caveman about it, obviously) and going with the flow. If she likes you, you’ll know…
First things first:
Pick-up lines don’t work in Germany.
If you ask me, they barely work in other countries too… But that’s a topic for another day.
German people are goal-oriented even in their daily routine. Women won’t appreciate you approaching them as a stranger. They have their agenda and are just trying to get from point A to point B. Talking to a foreign dude about their favourite Disney cartoon, whether they prefer cats or dogs, or their usual order at McDonalds. Before you ask, yes, these are all legitimate “conversation-starters” that I’ve seen tried (and failed) by wannabe pick-up artists.
Normally, I would say don’t even try. Especially in winter, when it’s cold and gets dark early, everybody is rushing to get home/to their destination. They wouldn’t stop to talk to you.
But what about malls, libraries, cafés…?
Yes, these can work sometimes. Germans are a very reserved bunch so you’d see girls shopping, reading, sipping coffee by themselves. It’s not weird to hang out alone. These are the women you want to approach.
Unfortunately, there is still a high chance of rejection. Because Germans are a private, introverted people, they enjoy being by themselves. In malls, for instance, you’ll see a lot of women shopping alone because it’s more efficient and they feel more confident. If you approach them, even if they think you’re cute, you still might get rejected because you appear at an incovenient time.
For succesful day game focus on girls relaxing:
Don’t be a pushover. If she rejects you, move on to the next gal!
The five biggest cities in Germany are:
And here are all the best nightlife locations in them. Singles-friendly bars and clubs only!
Berlin is a great place to go out solo, even if it can be intimidating at first. It’s a large city with a lot of non-Berlin natives hanging around. People are more open to chatting with strangers – guys and girls alike.
Before your night out, ask a local you fancy (or even a girl on Instagram/Tinder) about their favourite local brew, pub, and beer garden. It’s a great conversation-starter and it helps your cause with said girl. German women like to feel useful and appreciated.
Anyway, onto my favourite pick-up locations in Berlin:
Hamburg nights out were recently voted the best in Europe (by a Hostelworld survey). Nightlife here includes options for all ages, styles, and budgets… And, should I add, tastes in women. Anyway, here are some must-visit locations:
While Munich is mostly famous for it’s beer, there are still some hot nightlife spots that don’t involve any craft brew. Not that there is something wrong with a beer garden…
When DJ Mag places Cologne club Bootshaus as the best German club, Berliners were furious! Best club in Germany not in Berlin? Well, I guess so.
While I’m not taking any sides here, Cologne is an amazing nightlife destination in itself. And nightlife = opportunities to meet cute German girls! Check out:
Don’t let Frankfurt’s reputation as the financial capital of Germany fool you. The city is anything but boring! Here are the insider’s tips to picking girls up at one of Frankfurt’s hot singles nightlife locations:
Online dating is the future. And yes, I don’t like myself for saying this, but it’s true.
Young Germans are predominantly looking for partners online or in their social circle. It’s a country of introverts and career-focused people. Of course they’ll love online dating!
As a foreigner, Internet dating equals no language barrier. As long as you stick to English-based sites, of course, but it’s much easier than approaching strangers on the street. English levels are pretty solid in Germany. Even so, international dating sites help you meet singles that actively seek a relationship with a traveler/expat. So let’s check them out!
(If you want to learn how to speak German, check out this post)
Germans are pretty open-minded when it comes to casual sex. That said, you can easily meet your future wife on Tinder, too. It’s a casual dating app but not hookup central. Swipe around, go on a few dates, see what happens.
Reminder: tell the girl what you’re looking for. If it’s a one-night stand, it’s a one-night stand. German girls can smell fakes from a mile away. And they don’t mind no-strings-attached.
German Cupid is for relationship-minded people. It requires more time (to make your profile, fill it out, browse through potential matches, etc.) and a premium membership (which comes with a monthly fee).
Higher investment = People aren’t looking for short-term things.
And since it’s German girls we’re talking about, they won’t tolerate BS. If you’re only trying to get them in bed, German Cupid isn’t for you. If you want a German girlfriend – totally!
So how do you chat up a German girl online?
Start small and let her take the initiative. Unlike other countries, Germany is big on gender equality and girls don’t mind making the first step. Say “Hi, just wanted to say cute ___ (puppy in your pictures for example)!” and leave it at that. She’ll be taken aback a little bit but it will work out in your favour in the end.
You’re not begging her for attention. All you do is give her a conversation starter, spark her interest if you will. Then, she has to invest in the conversation, too. Independent, “modern badass woman” Germans appreciate that a lot.
If you speak German, you can try out Finya, which is a local dating site. Unfortunately, it’s only in German but otherwise, it’s one of the most popular options in Germany. Check it out, it’s free!
OkCupid exists in Germany but it’s only useful in bigger cities or near large universities. On the plus side, it doesn’t cost anything, though premium membership is available. I noticed older women liked OkCupid better (or at least people ready to settle down).
Badoo is basically Tinder with more advanced location services. It shows you users nearby based on similar interests. Germans do use Badoo but, again, it’s best reserved for bigger cities.
Instead of closing with a clichéd “good luck with German girls”, let me remind you why you want to date Germans… Even if they are a lot to handle!
But, of course, it’s not all sunshine and roses. German girls are outspoken, independet, and no-BS. If you can’t handle that, better look for a softer, gentler girl. Maybe Eastern Europeans?
One thing is for sure, though:
If you’re up for the challenge, German girls are awesome!
Do you have your own experiences with them? Make sure to share them in the comments below!