Dating foreign women is great.
Heck, a huge part of many men’s success was just throwing themselves out there and making the best of what they have.
But some guys are afraid of that.
What if she’s a gold-digger?
Well, I am here to ease your worries.
I will give you:
If you’re thinking:
What a clichéd way to start an article!
But bear with me, because the definition of gold-digger is key to the rest of my tips.
A gold-digger is a woman more interested in your assets than yourself.
But all women love opportunistically.
Let’s not romanticize this – girls fall in love with what you can give them. Does this make all women gold-diggers?
Nope, because hopefully you have more to offer than your wallet and American citizenship:
Yes, sex belongs here because (surprise-surprise) it’s just as fun for women, as it is for guys. A long-term relationship is about getting those things that you can’t have on your own. Sure, you can have a friend with benefits (or a few) and rely on the love and support of your friends and family.
However, in the wise words of a hot Eastern European girl I met once:
At the end of the day, we all want somebody to go home to.
Foreign women don’t sleep around as much—usually—as Americans do.
To them, dating and relationships are about building a future together. If a girl sees you as somebody that can provide that future, she will practically throw herself at you.
No smart woman would stay with a guy that doesn’t have his shit together. In Eastern Europe (and many other parts of the world), girls evaluate you as a potential husband from the get-go.
If you don’t seem like somebody that can provide stability and care, she will not date you.
Nope but it’s easy to think that. The difference between a nice sensible girl and a greedy bloodsucker is how much she’s willing to give.
If she is girlfriend material, she’ll know—relationships are about give and take.
Foreign women agree that guys and girls have a different role in the relationship. Her giving may not come in the form of providing financially. It should, however, come in an equally valuable form.
She evaluates you according to the future you can provide. The same standard applies to her:
I have a full article on screening foreign girls on the blog. It focuses on practical things – small things that give away if a foreign woman genuinely cares about you or not. But here is what it all boils down to:
Will she go out of your way to take care of you?
You can see that in the tiny details. Does she translate the menu if you go to a restaurant where it’s not available in English? Will she pressure you to learn her language? Does she use her ‘local skills’ to make your life easier (like my girl when she called a taxi for me on one night out)?
It comes through in bigger things, as well. One huge thing that will give you all the answers you need:
Please don’t take it as generic, tweetable couples advice when I say:
Relationships will not work if you don’t compromise.
The perfect woman does not exist. You can’t be 100% compatible with another human being. Sooner or later, your opinions will clash. If each holds onto his own, you are headed for a breakup, whether you realise it in the moment or not.
Dating foreign women will involve some culture clashes.
For instance, Russian culture is all about showing off. She may become annoyed that you don’t dress up as much as the local guys do for going out with her. After all, she puts all that effort in her hair, makeup, and outfit. Why would you embarass her like this?
In this scenario, neither one of you is 100% right or 100% in the wrong:
A gold-digger would cause a scene and ghost you for days in this situation. Sweet girlfriend-material women will look for a compromise.
Next time you and your girl get into an argument, watch how she behaves. If she values you, she would be looking for a solution to the problem. If she doesn’t, she’ll resort to emotional blackmail, sticking to her guns until you get tired and agree with her.
Of course, compromise is a two-way street. If you value her, you’d be compromising as well. But the point here is not who gives up more for the other person. It is whether she’s willing to do that for you or not.
Learning how to screen for gold-diggers is just one part of this game. The more important skill to learn is how to meet and date exclusively high-value women. And choosing to date abroad was a great first step in this direction.
As a whole, foreign women are more feminine, loving, and interesting than their American counterparts. They have some actual aspirations in life, they’re curious and always happy to learn, and they balance that ambition out with care and femininity. Because they are more secure in their identity, foreign women don’t feel the need to assert the ‘power of the pussy’ everywhere they go. This is a balance that is much harder to find in the US.
Anyway, there are still some rotten apples abroad. Some women will outright try to scam you out of your money (I am looking at you, marriage agency con artists!) Others will take a more subtle approach, constantly nagging you for expensive gifts and treats. Either way, you should cut them off from the source.
There are three basic components of a relationship:
I didn’t make this up, it’s actually one of the most popular theories on love. Here is how it applies to dating foreign women:
When you first meet a girl, you can’t know her intentions. Until you do, operate from the cautious standpoint.
This applies especially to online dating. You hear those horror stories of men who hoped to meet their future hot wife in Ukraine… Only to discover they had been lied to by a sleazy Boris in a Kyiv basement. These men, as harsh as it may sound, screwed themselves over.
You don’t send money to people you haven’t met IRL.
You do not make expensive gifts to a girl you only know for a few days. You don’t take a new crush to a super expensive date.
Sure, it may be fun and it may feel nice to do all those things. These are the exact emotions that gold-diggers play on. So, to avoid getting used by a greedy foreign female, match your investment to hers. This is true for time and exculsivity, as much as it does to finance, by the way.
Ultimately, you can’t help how you feel about someone. Even the smoothest players end up falling stupidly in love at some point of their lives.
Instead, learn to control the things you actually have power over.
Be smart about the decisions you take.
Don’t think with your D.
If she’s a genuinely amazing girl, she will eventually deserve your full investment.
Don’t give it all up for somebody that you don’t fully know.
This way, once you get to the stage of exclusive dating, you would only be with the best, highest-value foreign women out there. That is all the science there is to it. Plus, of course, knowing the local culture and getting over your fear of approaching girls. You can learn more about that on my other Trouble articles.
In the meantime, tell me what your thoughts are on gold-digging foreign women.
Are they really as common as Americans think?
What are the steps you take to avoid them?
I’m looking forward to hearing from you in the comments below…