The Actress. Kelly was 19 years old.
Brunette hair that she colored slightly red (in a classy way), big blue eyes, and no more than 105 pounds, standing 5’6″. She was of Russian heritage, with high cheekbones and a classy walk.
We met on OkCupid. Since she wasn’t old enough to drink, I took her to my favorite coffee shop in the mall. With some outdoor seating, we could people watch to our heart’s content. I showed up to our date slightly drunk, as a friend convinced me to go to happy hour with him beforehand.
Of course, she had no idea I’d been drinking. It wasn’t exactly my first rodeo.
I kept it pretty casual as I had somewhere to be afterwards, as it was a Friday evening. We had a nice chat over coffee, and I grabbed her hand as we left the coffee shop. While standing at a stoplight, I kissed her for the first time. It was short.
I had her drive me home, as I had walked from work to the bar to the coffee shop. We had a small make-out in the car in my driveway, and she told me she looked forward to seeing me again. Being from Michigan, she had a lot of the “small town, nice girl” vibe to her which I loved.
I saw Kelly again.
Every week for a couple of months after my breakup with Holly in the summer of 2015. She even met a couple of my friends, who liked her.
We had great chemistry, did fun stuff, and she was never flaky or anything of the sort. There was a glaring problem about our relationship, though.
The problem was that she was one of a
thousand million billion trillion aspiring actresses in Los Angeles:
Oh, really? You live in Los Angeles and are in the industry? I never would have thought that!
Sorry, you and seemingly every other person I’ve met in the three months I’ve been here are all aiming to fly to the top of “the industry”.
Let’s start off by stating that you are “in the industry” – with the usual pretentious tone – is ridiculous when you’re a low level assistant (read: someone’s bitch), barely pulling enough money to afford Ramen noodles. Now, if you’re a top level executive rocking custom suits, and partying up in Hollywood mansions with the stars – by all means, use whatever tone you’d like. You’ve earned that right.
It’s the assistant’s assistants that tend to think they’re all that just for being a part of the industry; little do they know that they’re simply suckers.
Now, I’ve said before that men and women are different; women care far more about status, money, and careers than men do. Men, for the most part, don’t give two shits about any of the above as long as the girl is hot.
Hell, I would have sex with a homeless girl, as long as she was cute and didn’t smell like a dumpster.
For whatever reason, her “Aspiring Actress” title bothered me; part of that is due to living in Los Angeles, where there are so many people aspiring to make it in “The Industry”. It gets old hearing about it after a while, and since I have no interest in that industry on any level, makes it hard to relate to the struggle.
Despite that disclaimer above, it made me realize that in a partner relationship, I do care a little bit about what the girl does with her life. She doesn’t have to be a CEO or a lawyer (and I would never date either of those, yuck), but she does need to have a few things going on for her, mostly so that I can screen her and make sure she’s not a total lazy mooch.
I mean, you wouldn’t introduce your mom to your porn star girlfriend, would you? Sure, you’d tell and brag to all your buddies. But mom? No way.
But, you’d probably introduce her to a teacher, or nurse.
While these are obviously extreme examples, the situation with Kelly was similar. I just wanted to roll my eyes every time she told people she was an “actress”, when in reality, she had never been paid a single cent in her life to act. All her acting career had done was suck her dry of everything – she was living in a room with a family she was a nanny for, she rode her skateboard to the bus stop, and certainly never picked up a check.
Oh wait, she did bring frozen cookies over once – they cost all of $2.50.
(My opinion on girls paying for stuff is this: I am a successful man and I expect to pay for the majority of things, but if I’m seriously dating someone, it’s nice if they pick up the tab occassionally.)
I’m not saying don’t pursue your dreams, but if you truly want to make it in an industry as tough as acting, you need to make sacrifices. Kelly was a nanny, and also was trying to get into various service jobs. I told her repeatedly that if she truly wanted to make it in the industry, she needed to start focusing forty hours (ideally, more) a week on trying to make it. Going to one audition a week was not going to cut it.
She will never make it in an industry that tough going to one audition a week with what she had. She was hot, but not Victoria’s Secret model hot. Talented, but not transcendent. Perfectly nice, but not a killer.
While I’m not going to denounce my opinion that women are better off being stay at home moms, you do want a girl you are seriously dating to do something that you’re proud of her for. Of course staying at home and raising my children to be well-rounded young adults would be something I would be proud of a future potential wife for.
I will continue to have casual sex with actresses, but that’s the ceiling for them. I doubt I will ever consider seriously dating an actress, unless they’re A/B-listers and can foot my bills. Go suga mamas!
Women fuck the bad boy who is in between jobs, but they don’t marry him. Hold girls you date to a similar standard.
And finally, let’s face it – the easiest way to make it as an actress is to suck a lot of dick, and I’m not down with that merry-go-round anymore.
Read More: Field Report: Using Logic to Convince a Girl to Cheat
Also, I’m running a ‘How To Meet Girls Online’ Valentine’s Day special.
I’m putting this together with my friend, Masculine Profiles.
We’re launching this on Friday, February 5th but we will have a 24-hour early bird sale starting on the 4th.
It’ll be just $37 for all of the below on the first day, and going up to $47 after that. The sale will run up until Valentine’s Day.
For comparison, Cracking OkCupid is usually $20 alone, The Tinder Template is $10, and I charge $47 just for a profile review.
So it’s a helluva deal. Just click here to get on the early bird release list, and look for an email come February 4th for the flash sale.
Yea if she’s just a FWB then she is just a FBW.There is nothing woring with setting a standard for a relationship. Women want a stable man, there nothing wrong with wanting a woman who can sustain herself.
Too much black and white in this part of the internet.
“You must provide”
“she must submit”
It’s never that simple and straightforward.
TRUE. Keyboard jockeys see everything as black & white but when someone truly lives life they will see how colorfull the world really is and that most things aren’t just black or white.