Drunk Ukrainian Tries Out For The NFL - This Is Trouble

Drunk Ukrainian Tries Out For The NFL

We’d just gotten off the tram at my girl’s parents home.

Walking home after a long day of looking at apartments and doing all the usual stuff that comes with moving to a new country.

Hassles, hassles, hassles.

Suddenly, we heard a guy yelling. He was asking for the tram to wait for him. A reasonable request, given how slow trams in Ukraine sometimes are.

The problem was though, he was completely on the other side of the road. A road that has 4 lanes of absolutely insane Ukrainian drivers. If you asked me to choose between climbing Everest and jaywalking that road, I’d hedge my bets on getting off of Everest alive.

But no, that didn’t deter this man…

He started crossing, deftly maneuvering between all of the moving cars. I watched, amazed, at the precision in which he did so. He was like Dominic Toretto in the Fast & Furious franchise, minus all the pretty girls.

There was a problem though:

If he managed to traverse all 4 lanes, he’d come up against another foe…the fence. This fence, since it protects pedestrians from said crazy Ukrainian drivers, is about 4-5 feet high. My girlfriend and I sat there in amazement. I was getting ready to grab my phone to film this crazy man attempting to scale this fence like an Olympian. He really wanted to get on this tram.

Meanwhile, he’s still yelling at the driver.

The tram takes off before he manages to scale the fence. Actually, at this point, he’s realistically probably only halfway across the road.

The tram moves.

He yells one final time…

To no avail.

In his anger, he winds up his grocery bag.

Like an NFL quarterback heaving a 75-yard Hail Mary into the end zone, he dips his arm back, and hurls his bag of groceries probably 25 feet in the air. The ball bag travels in a perfectly thrown arch. He was probably at least 50 feet away from the tram when he threw it. We watch, in horror, as the bag drops…and smashes right into the driver’s window.

It falls to the tram tracks.

Undeterred, the driver steps on the gas, running over our heroic quarterback’s grocery bag. I imagine he didn’t want this lunatic on his tram, can’t say I blame him. The beer bottles, thankfully plastic, explode.

There are over a dozen people just staring.

All I can do is laugh as the guy calmly continues walking IN THE STREET, around the fence, and then goes to try to collect the remnants of his groceries.

Just another day in Ukraine.

Look, I love the place.

I am thrilled to be back.

It just vibes with me, because of the chaos. Something about knowing that every time, when I walk outside, I might get mowed down by a crazy cabbie, or bear witness to NFL tryouts with beer bottles.

Something about the place.

Now, listen up:

This kind of style, it’s certainly not for everyone. Not everybody wants to live in this kind of chaos. Totally understandable. But, here’s the thing…

Everyone should have the freedom to make their own choices.

Maybe the craziness of Ukraine isn’t for you, but instead, it’s the beaches of Bali.

Or, maybe you’ve got a real appetite for danger and want to hang out in the favelas of Brazil.

Whatever it is your heart desires, you need to have the income to be able to do it.

My upcoming niche site webinar on November 14th at 8pm EST will help you to do this.

Some of you may already be registered, so consider this the official tease post…

For those of you who haven’t, what are you waiting for?

It’s free, but yes, there will be a pitch at the end.

Details here:


Kyle Trouble

I'm Kyle "Trouble". I'm a former computer engineer who left the 9-5 in LA at 24 years old and moved to Eastern Europe. I blog about dating, life abroad, and building successful and scalable streams of income.

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