TROUBLESOME RADIO 066
SHATTERING & CUTTING THROUGH THE MATRIX
TR066—CUTTING THROUGH THE MATRIX: OUTLINE
- I have returned to America! Dear God, what have I done?
- I’d like to think I’ve alleviated some of the anger in my life towards society, and maybe…*gulp* women. Read this article for an example of former anger.
- Hell, read this one, too.
- Recap of my 2014 trip to Poland, what I saw and observed. Differences between America and whatnot.
- My story about how I ended up quitting the job, completely. What’s YOUR tipping point?
- Show transcription below, it’s not that accurate but it’ll work in a pinch.
- The best way to break out of the matrix is Troublesome Solutions.
CUTTING THROUGH THE MATRIX: TRANSCRIPTION
So let’s dive right in, first off, coming hoe is little bit shocking in a way home I was it told myself that it wouldn’t be me who went away and came back and acted like just a total oblivious moron to everything, but I almost can’t help it, it’s so drastically different here in America just walking around. You can see the difference on people, and probably the biggest eye-opener and mention this in article I wrote was like while out to a coin grill on my vices and it was shocking because like 3 or 4 people in motorized scooters entire place is just obese. So when you see that kind of just gluttony. It really is eye-opening.
It makes you really think about what you need is a human being to actually survive. In fact the matter is really don’t need that much. It’s food and shelter and that’s really it. When you go to a place like Europe is not just the food either. It’s just the overall consumerism. You know, and I think food falls into that as we always want to consume more more more love to have more and more stuff so when you look at the spectrum you see the big screen TVs.
You see the gigantic cars you see just a huge house is a huge yards and you see so much stuff that employee goes beyond what we need on a basic level of function as for humans, and if you take that across you know to Europe across the pond and realtors can be almost anywhere else in the world that have the big huge houses they live in small flats, they don’t have each TVs amine that TVs don’t get me wrong, but they’re not 80 inches. There 32-38 whatever they don’t have any of the big cars because the roads are sustainable for will see any Hummers or you know Cadillac Escalade thrown around the streets of Kiev or Prague. I’m occasionally and you will see some Mercedes or some Range Rover’s.
But regardless of that they are much more compact and it’s not the case that bigger is always better to know just the portion sizes to me here just shocking. Tom compared to places like you know in Europe words. It’s much more manageable and much more modest and it’s not going to shock you to see a portion like that but when you know you just get so used to it. Human beings are functionally adaptable. If something happens and we adapt to it. That’s what we used was the new reality of the world for us. So you know the portion sizes in America were also used to that by now reduced to seeing enough food on our plate and weed out at a restaurant that we could know you different, three meals and outsource the norm did almost consume the whole thing. Whereas you know I’ve been Europe all year. It’s I’ve now adapted to a much more modest way of looking at the source of food goes and so it’s it’s shocking to have that reality shattered when you come back in any case
so I came home on December 14 and I took a nice flight business class on Scandinavian Airlines from Copenhagen San Francisco and that was one of the coolest experiences ever on my phone and first class before domestically and internationally, and I was well worth the experience. The problem is a part of me says overture and I will be splurging on something like that. You should work hard and get ahead in it’s almost hard to do that when there’s lots of alcohol and lots of food and lots of entertainment. You can map so and a lot of ways that I made a little bit more difficult to pull off, but in any case, I’m future plans. It’s the 18th. I’m recording this and I will be heading back out on the road quite soon. Action week from today. I’m heading to North Carolina to see a friend and I’ll be heading over to Croatia and Montenegro by Ukrainian girls still around shall be joining me a Montenegro for the first part of the month of February and then after that she’ll be leaving and always staying there for the month and the goal during that time is to hopefully finish my book which title IV yet. I’m still working on and there’s a lot going on with it but I think it’s gonna be the cap on this part of my life, Inc.
I’ve moved a little bit beyond the anger that I have felt honestly for the last few years on towards America, just a little angry about that but I’ve moved on from being angry. I would say it women, wouldn’t you would consider myself misogynist by any means, but there is definitely some anger about the way the dating scene work and everything in my life that wasn’t worth it. I was told would work with and wasn’t working and so there was some anger need to let go then I don’t think I really, truly did that this year you know as recently as last year. However, an article singing a women tracking towards mediocrity. Here’s how to stop it. And while I kind of agree with the other core principles of that article. I was very angry when I wrote that obviously handout me like you quite often I go Venus of the gaps in my life ago I write it down. I let that raw motion showing. I don’t want to be censoring myself. I never want to do that at the same time I can look back at that and say okay underlying there I was very angry at not just that specific girl that was very angry. What is going on around me and my life as a whole, and I think being a problem here has truly allowed me to cut a move past that in be less bitter towards the world, and a little bit you notice more productive as a whole and five what the anger go up and it was the move past it and build something better.
Beyond that, and so I think though there’s a lot of anger out there and I think it is completely understandable. I really do vital for any guy who is going through that in his pitstop at the world for the way that it has treated him in August. I can speak to everyone else in their stories him. He listened to the podcast archives will certainly find them, but they can my case I graduate high school and I got good grades at a 4.0 and applied to all the schools I went to school I wanted to and in college. It was by I didn’t meet the girls and I do not have the friends had the social circle, but I wasn’t getting what I needed as far as my dating life all poisonous relationship and that I did not really make a move and seal the deal and curl after that I did everything right, you know, I made friends and make connections. I escaped almost debt-free. I got the job right out of high school and yet somehow, for whatever reason wasn’t happy with the situation at all.
Everything I noticed at that point in my life was I done because I was supposed to know I wasn’t I wasn’t supposed to pull girls pigtails an elementary school bus was to be nice to them, and that niceness carried over the middle school where in the ass on a few times and it went to high school I never got any action high school because I was the nice guy and then I went to college I got was supposed to have a good job like I was supposed soon. Yet I still didn’t have what I wanted, which was just to get laid. You know such a core fundamental easy part of life. Really, it’s you know one thing, and I done everything I was supposed to but didn’t have that. So to me. I was just thinking of is a scam. It was until I started really waking up and realizing that everything I done in my at that point was, not wrong, but it will take a back it was wrong. It was what everyone thought was right.
But what was when you look and break down societal norms was wrong in so honestly the cap on this. Bobby sues going abroad this year and so when you look at the grand scheme of things, and you look at the roadmap to say young man’s life. You know it’s very cookie-cutter. It’s good high school and college go to college. Don’t feel a lot of college get a job make money. Married kids the end and then you know as you get older you have grandkids you hopefully don’t shake your pants when you’re older and you die and that’s tough life and I felt unhappy because I was I was playing in someone else’s game and it wasn’t working out for most people like you and I worked at a good company a good job that first one in the vast majority people in that office. They were overweight. He complained about their wives they all love their kids but they didn’t like their wives they didn’t have any freedom they seem totally just sucked in.
They always were telling me how great it was that I was free and yet at the same time they were pushing me in that same direction of life and I was looking at the time to buy a condo in San Diego. San Diego is not a cheap place by any means. This was an expensive area to La Jolla and they pretty much told me know by the condo because the condo was stable and an increase in value and it will show girls that you are a stable guy don’t the day you almost everyone. Mike and on all aspects of life, and I don’t fault them set out by the condo and I am so god damn grateful that the price of that condo rose up as I was considering it jumped all the way from.
I think hundred 85,000 to 225, 250,000 lives completely balked at that express for a job at the backing I had everything I needed to get a loan. I could not but something felt wrong. It felt like I was just in a pigeon myself into one path that I would have no flexibility to get out of the same time and you had to call Ari was expensive and then I am as much in thought here at the new car. I was gonna buy the condo in think I was taking home sales me taking home about $3000 a month and between like a mortgage payment on the condo in the carbon insurance and I was to be spending the 23 or 2400 of that 3000 on those things, one of which was completely depreciating and value the car and the other which would hopefully increase in value. The condo.
But regardless of those numbers from 185 to 250 or whatever I did, they scared me. I stopped to turn the calls of the realtors I stopped looking at the listings I just pushed on my mind set on not doing this in the next year to complete other way and I took that trip that I mean it really changed my life. So I booked that first week in a row call Russell off Poland and then project the public and then ended up getting a girlfriend and deciding that I wasn’t going to Bobby’s ago do a complete game trip, so to speak. I thought my fun, but I didn’t go there with the intention of destroying illegal time for the file. I went to five places in two weeks, which was a lot in the thing though about that city in Poland is that the present not many people. Your average American does know where that is like if you will walk around say that name known condo where the places brought on the other hand is a bit touristy.
It’s much more notable and those were problems, but that first city was the game changer for me really was like a damages at almost $1400 for those wretched tickets which was a lot of money at the time. To me, and at the same time these days I would never pay that much for an economy like some smarter than that. But those little ticket stubs were the best investment I ever could made my life better than any condo or any fancy car because that $1400 changed my life around because I realize that a lot of things in life had been told wasn’t necessary and that’s pretty earth shattering.
I was 22 at the time and everything had been told I realized that maybe wasn’t true and this was really the first time that I had ever been out of the country had been to Mexico and the Caribbean, but those are like family girlfriend trips and a been like prepackaged occasions and yelling at the point I was completely alone a friend waiting for me at the apartment and have phone know what you are is going on. It was that I need to take night bus 206 to the right square and I was an adventure in itself, but it showed me that that wasn’t how I want to live my life back home yet. We stayed in a small apartment but was nice. I enjoyed it on my didn’t want to be fighting so hard in the American dating scene. I want girls to look at me with desire and lust in toward me and be in a letter like at that point I was I was young and cocky, but I felt like I was at the top of the food chain was you know 22 years old and drove a nice new car and a hotshot job that what they should be throwing themselves at me.
and I wouldn’t say Poland was quite that but showed me that there was a culture where relationships and men were valued as opposed to condition on America and most of all, I saw that just a lack of material expensive big items. I guess I live in a small apartment. It was nothing like enough houses in America. Nobody had cars on the tram and bus system was really easy to figure out even as a foreigner on those simple and cheap and they were just know luxury items like I said in a luxury apartment but it was pretty bare-bones. There is a decent small TV and the bathroom did have a sound system was pretty rad. However, the rest of the trip and I went to London, Barcelona, Rome and then Prague. It was in our State Department that were very much more minimal even in a place like the UK. I would say it’s it’s not as much of the luxury huge items.
Culture is not feasible, so I got on the plane back to Southern California. I knew I just needed to get back. I just didn’t know how and within a year I’d I sold some of Mike my him my racing bikes by trap on bikes I downsize those from foreign to us old men nice car limited to the payment and the insurance and moved out of my fancy apartment in La Jolla, covering nearly in half and while I had a lot of the weight of dad not dead, but no money of my head I freedom coast over thousand dollars by getting rid of the car and downsizing my apartment in it the same time I was grappling with this whole new sense of the world that I’d seen over and Poland. I discovered that everything I’ve been told from high school, college career was what everyone was told and I done everything perfectly. And yet I wasn’t happy. And it’s different to know that into know that others doesn’t feel right into read the stories about what’s happening is different to go experience in that is the moment that makes it almost impossible, but it makes it really got damn hard to get over the hump into truly break out of the matrix and to break out of the normal way of thinking dealing with the realities of how what women really wanted in relationships. The career and how unhappy I was and other aspects of life. You know what the dead in the luxury items that was a lot for 22-year-old me to handle, had the knowledge I have the desire and drive to escape out of it but I didn’t have the balls like my entire knowledge of the world complete world.
Everything about I knew it in life have been reshaped within a year it was. It likes couldn’t handle it. Like I I’m honestly I look back at it. I’m almost surprised I didn’t just run away and kill myself or destroy myself and the drugs or alcohol. It it doesn’t. I look back and I know Mike wow that was a lot to handle. You know because I wasn’t the kid who had a little bit success with girls. It was like I did have any success with girls. I was not happy in my career I was being pulled everything I was doing was writing I was being told to do this and I just took that trip and realized none of that seems right like I wanted that I want what I saw in Europe, america thankfully people made it easy easier for me over the next couple years you know the career path hours.
i love my job of company x had a lot of good friends there, but i got messed up on a couple promotions that i thought i truly earned the first one was a new york want to go be a consultant for their and i went to the top of the food chain in the other in the new york district got the interviews them on the phone and it just didn’t work out. they took someone with 25 years experience and i understood that one because i was really new in the game and i didn’t think that was likely from the start. at the same time. those are such a long drawn out process or document for five months for an indian internal candidate and they just want they didn’t communicate with me at all.
i just felt like i was chasing after them, and i felt like as a employee of the company are ready. bailey sold me some common decency to keep me up to date and to you know call me and let me know that you get the job or whatever. when that ultimately happened that i didn’t even get that. it was like me sending email after email at what’s going on. finally, in a quick reply. we decided go someone else. thank you. and then signage that i felt like that that made sense to me. i wasn’t may be quite ready for that position. i think it was done very well in it, but i wasn’t quite ready and then there was another one that was for the and upgraded not to talk today dallas for a higher position at my current level really so they were basically level i and level ii tech support is enterprise tech support with really fancy computers and i was artie doing that specific niche. as far as technical aspects, you know, there was the general level, one which i was we troubleshoot everything on a basic level and then there was level to which start to specialize in. i was artie doing level to work on a specific team artie had all the tools all those guys love me as a small team. i was basically a level to doing level you get a level i salary and in sitting with the level ones, but position opened up guy was retiring when that whole team wanted me and they all look to their boston hired kyle like he is the guy from this. he’s already ready we can train him and he’ll be fantastic in this position do not just give them the job is really with a set i was still only 22 and so is a japanese company and they promote seniority and loyalty so they they looked at my number of 22 and basically said he’s not ready because of his age, even heard later by your perfectly qualified and mature enough. but your actual age is the problem.
and again, i kind of understood it it made sense to me know if everyone else on the team was over 50 years old. however, the real problem i had was that the job the manager of that team didn’t even let me know when he worked in a not new york, not across the country. he worked 32nd walk away from my desk. it was the same deal me at what’s going on i can. my my getting this was the situation do need to have another interview and ultimately they went with some older from outside the company and they didn’t even let me know. i had to go find out from the other team that manager couldn’t be bothered to walk over tell me in person and could be bothered to just send me an email note p i had to find out from someone else and he never even just came over and said no i’m sorry kyle you didn’t get this and i am thankful every sucking day that they passed on me.
i was so disheartened that few months later i took another job in la for all about. i hated thou on there is no parthenon. i like to hated the people in the company might dislike that job completely and that is the real fire that made me kinda leave behind. so, about halfway through that first heard that second job now. i went to another jaunt to europe this time to boot – spent 10 days there just partying in meeting the local immersing myself and then i knew i really really new but it wasn’t on to columbia later that year, and this is now in november 2015 met some other nomads there guys. they were living in columbia. they were dating the beautiful women. you guys can read all about that, then plenty of writing about columbia and they were making their you know, 12, $1500 a month but they were way happier than i was way happier in so that was the reality of it was if you if you think about that. you know what digital nomad. a freelancer there’s look down upon our society like completely.
if you look at the light at the young man should take going to columbia and doing freelance work for barely $1000 a month is something that would be no nose turned up on where is my job. you know engineer stable good pay that was like thumbs up or make everything right you should be doing and that was the real breaking point for me. it was finally what the fog is going on. i’ve done everything right and i’m not happy and i will so that’s when i went back and i’ll do my finances and i ended up quitting the job very soon after that i got the setting of that was november 2015 him to columbia and am three months later i was out of the job and i do my own thing and i can send you know it’s not is not cut and dry. it’s not black and white aprons can have different journey a different story.
i don’t think it’s it’s not supposed to be easy. it’s really not. but so many of you know have company and said i know what you’re doing with all this more sites is very inspiring in here. i don’t do this, it’s cool doing this and really making that final break is almost like the breakup. if you think about breakups there very rarely a logical thing. it’s not a you know this person did x in so i’m going to do. why, you know, maybe you say there’s a breaking point. like if they ever do this. i’m done with it, but it’s rarely rarely logical even for men, especially for women is not a logical process. it’s that emotional spike that finally pushes you over the edge that gets you to dump someone. it’s very you know that’s why couples are always on breaks going to fight emotions get spiked. they break up and get back together. whatever is very rare that you actually sit down in an effort that something that everyone does this. everyone sits down and writes that list the left calm and a right column saying this is what i like about this person, this is what i don’t like is what they bring to my life is what they don’t and that you know they always say when the good outweighs the bad. you should break up with that person.
but that’s not how it ever works. it’s always an emotional spike that gets it going. and that basically pushes you of the edge to then break up with someone and i believe that the corporate job works very similarly to this if you truly want to break free. you know, we can sit here all day to make debate the merits and say well here’s the pluses of it. here’s the minuses of it until you have those moments in life that truly truly push you over the edge. nothing is going to happen you know it is there a way to accelerate that process. i don’t know but a lot of it is you dealing with a little bit of fear you dealing with insecurity, instability, and finally just when you’ve had too much of it are sick of the way that life is being told her what you’re being told to live life. that’s when you say for this. i’ve done and you have that breaking point.
much like a relationship. you finally have a breaking point are saying you done with this girl. it’s over. same thing with the job. it’s that emotional breaking point that finally gives you the the courage or held insanity just to do it in so seen up to those of you ask how did you do it like what can i do it. what’s the point that i should stop its to be different for all of you. it’s not black and white unfortunately wish i could tell you that will do ask and you will get why in this it will be the result life doesn’t work that way. life is not linear. it’s very important to remember that i have no regrets, i’m i’m able to look back at this and say okay i was young enough that it didn’t matter if you talk to me when i was 30 and maybe i’m in a i was doing the podcast five years later, recapping my one year mark on the road that i might be singing a different tune. i might be saying, like me, and i lost my 20s doing that but i just turned 25 last year was 24 when i quit and then you started traveling and so to me that was the perfect point i’ve done just that.
often the corporate life to try a given on a shot in broken down so that was when i knew i had enough and so i can look back and say know what i was young enough i didn’t waste too much of my life. it’s okay in those were needed learning lessons. obviously, i can set everyone’s can be different in that synthroid is what i can only talk about is kinda how this first year shaped my opinion on the world and really just trying to tie it all together with the rest of my life because i don’t think it’s it’s easy you know i write a lot i can look back and see where i came from and that inspires other people take a similar path. i don’t say recommend doing the blogger out, but…
i do recommend doing some sort of online income that they give you some flexibility in travel and has a greater upside. you know, unless you’re going to be a ceo at a corporation some day you know there’s going to be paid Most Everywhere That You Never Really Get to Make Them the Same Time Cost for the Keep Going up. You Know the Matrixes Is Difficult to Break Out Of Him Because Most People Are in and so When You Follow the Herd. I Think This Is the Right Thing but It’s It’s Not Always the Right Thing and I Think Especially You Know My Audience out Here Listening to the Show. It’s Most of You Are above Average Intelligence Try and Have the Ability to Make It Happen Just a Matter of Doing It. And Sometimes It’s That Push over the Edge That Really Makes It Happen Point That Being Said, I Think the Lesson and This Is Very Dry Here by Storing What