This is a letter from one of the girls I’ve been dating, Shannon. I’ve refrained from editing it and adding my smartass remarks. Let her and I know what you think in the comments.
The Truth Behind Trouble: Girls Point of View
I can be seen mentioned in previous posts as the girl who found the blog, and the girl who made her own blog post regarding the man you all know as “Trouble Maker”. On my last visit with him we thought it would be cool if I wrote a little something from my perspective. I’m not always great at putting my thoughts into words, but I figured it would be fun to give it a shot.
I’ll start out with a brief backstory. I met the man behind this blog on OKCupid. I hadn’t made the account in order to find people to date, but instead out of pure boredom one night during my long stay in San Diego. I was never looking to actually meet anyone from the site. On my last morning in SD I get a message from a 22 year old that lives in the area. He gives me one of his standard OKC openers which I respond to, simply to call him out for using that same line on every girl. He disregards my attempted sass and continues on. We have a brief, interesting but flirty conversation and before I know it I’m giving him my number. I wasn’t planning on giving it out, and considering I was also leaving that day, I viewed it as pretty pointless. Little did I know we would be texting almost on the daily, and I would soon be making more than one trip back to San Diego just to see him. (My real residence is in Orange County which is about an hour and a half away).
What’s my view of the red pill lifestyle?
At first glance I thought it was absolutely ridiculous. I didn’t see how anyone could handle living that kind of life. I only saw the negatives. However, the idea grew on me pretty quickly. A couple months ago when Kyle brought up the idea of having a main girl and then still gaming on the side, it actually didn’t sound like that bad of an idea. I still have yet to reach my 20’s so for me settling down completely still seems a long ways away. Dating a guy with the “red pill” mindset isn’t as big of a deal as I originally thought. Is it a lifestyle for me personally? No. I’ve experimented with the idea of dating more than one guy. It’s alright at first, but I always find myself favoring one over the other which causes me to lose interest quickly and leaves me not feeling very good about myself. However, I know I still have plenty to learn and experience before trying to lock a serious relationship down so fast. Of course though, these weren’t my views prior to discovering this concept.
How has knowing about the blog affected me?
There have definitely been many advantages to having access to this blog. Some of which include the fact that I’m probably a lot more comfortable with this “relationship” than I would be otherwise. I’m also more aware of the realities of it. Girls love to twist the meaning of situations, it’s just something we do, and I could see that easily happening if I didn’t know as many details. It’s also good because I know what he expects from me and I know what to expect from him, other than what is verbally communicated. I’m definitely not out changing myself to fit into the “ideal girl” frame, but it does help with self-improvement and I’m usually not surprised or let down by most of the things he tells me. One last advantage would have to be the fact that this blog, and his knowledge of dating, have become a huge part of his life as of lately, and I enjoy being able to discuss this with him. We have a lot of good conversations stemming from blog posts and other related topics that would not happen if I was still in the dark.
Of course there are also many disadvantages to reading these posts and comments. As much as I hate jealousy and being jealous, it does happen from time to time. I try to avoid it, but you can’t really unread something. Sometimes more knowledge is not a good thing. It just leads to over thinking, worrying, and adding unnecessary confusion. This is something I love to do and know other girls love to do as well. I guess curiosity really did kill the cat.
How do I feel about this sort of relationship?
Unfortunately the fact that I currently am living over an hour away from SD, and will be for almost another year, has limited our dating opportunities. I can’t say I’ve experienced all sides of it. However, I’ve grown to like the relaxed nature. Most guys I’ve dated in the past would be what you call “betas”. They’re overly clingy, talking about a future together within the first couple of weeks, wanting to talk on the phone daily, etc. Normally I would have thought that kind of thing was sweet, but now it freaks me out more than anything. This brings about the fact that it’s definitely going to be hard to find another guy who treats me in the same way Kyle does. Most guys don’t have much game or simply don’t have the same confidence in what they’re doing, whether it be in something simple like conversation, or more intimate situations. If they aren’t confident, I’m definitely not confident.
At the end of the day, I don’t like to lead a life of regret. Have I made mistakes over these past four months? Of course. Have I learned a great deal about myself and dating? Definitely. Is there still a lot of unknowns? Ohhh yeah. Would I suggest other girls to read this blog? Yes, but not if they’re dating the author!!! All this aside though, Kyle is actually a really good guy despite some recent misconceptions based around his strong opinions. Sometimes I hate him, but that’s life.
Totally fascinating, thanks for being so open about your thoughts on this, even though the majority of your points could’ve been summed up with “Kyle is soooooooo dreaammmyy.”
In “the community” we talk a lot about frame, which is just a guy’s perspective when it comes to women, and how a girl will allow herself to fall into it if the guy’s frame if his game is strong enough.
I’m curious what you think about the belief that women, for the most part, are pretty malleable in their beliefs as long as we, as alphas, maintain our frame?
Also, I’d love to read more about your thoughts on former “betas” after being with Troublemaker?
Thank you for the kind words! I would say that’s a pretty accurate belief. Obviously there’s a lot of women who would like to say they won’t change for a guy and can’t be changed by a guy and maybe they’re right. For me personally though, it’s not too hard to alter my beliefs. As I said in my post, at first I thought the whole red pill idea was insane, but it didn’t take me very long to change my mind. Girls love the idea of “changing” the bad boy, but if you maintain your frame she has no choice but to mold into your beliefs or leave, which chances are she doesn’t want to do.
I’d love to explain more about my thoughts on betas however, I think I’d have too much to say haha. To keep it short, although I know they’re intentions are good and they’re usually pretty sweet, now I can’t help but see it as a weakness. When you’re looking for a man to date, obvious weaknesses are a big red flag!
I lot of what you wrote sounds like it came out of my main girls mouth. It’s refreshing to see another woman who can rationally decide that it’s better for her to share a high quality man than have a low value one to herself.
Check out her blog, we’re also both in orange county so i’m sure you two would have plenty to talk about.
Dreamy like this guy?
She brings up a lot of valid points in a reasonable way. I didn’t expect a girl’s view to be so collected. If you’re smart you’ll keep her around.
I’ll definitely check out her blog!
I haven’t really read anything from other girls so I’d love to see what she has to say. Especially living in the same place!
Shan, you live in LB basically. Not OC.
SD > OC > LB
I completely live in the OC! You wouldn’t even know haha
And I agree that SD is better.
well well well. i told you dude, i tell damn near every woman i chat up that i have a blog that teaches guys how to talk understand and attract attention. NEVER had a cute, young woman get bitchy or disagree with what they’ve read. now OLDER women, they hate it.
but i’m not trying to fuck them. lol.