This is a letter from one of the girls I’ve been dating, Shannon. I’ve refrained from editing it and adding my smartass remarks. Let her and I know what you think in the comments.
Read the original post and comments here. Shannon asked me to post my edited, smart-ass version, so I am obliging for the lulz.
The Truth Behind Trouble: Girls Point of View
I can be seen mentioned in previous posts as the girl who found the blog, and the girl who made her own blog post regarding the man you all know as “Trouble Maker”. On my last visit with him we thought it would be cool if I wrote a little something from my perspective. I’m not always great at putting my thoughts into words, but I figured it would be fun to give it a shot.
I’ll start out with a brief backstory. I met the man behind this blog on OKCupid. I hadn’t made the account in order to find people to date, but instead out of pure boredom one night during my long stay in San Diego (ed: why do so many girls do this? quit wasting guys time for some e-attention. Shannon, don’t ever do this again unless you’re serious about it). I was never looking to actually meet anyone from the site (attention). On my last morning in SD I get a message from a 22 year old that lives in the area. He gives me one of his standard OKC openers which I respond to, simply to call him out for using that same line on every girl. He disregards my attempted sass and continues on (agree and amplify baby) . We have a brief, interesting but flirty conversation and before I know it I’m giving him my number. I wasn’t planning on giving it out, and considering I was also leaving that day, I viewed it as pretty pointless. Little did I know we would be texting almost on the daily, and I would soon be making more than one trip back to San Diego just to see him (I want to note that she takes AMTRAK to come visit). (My real residence is in Orange County which is about an hour and a half away).
What’s my view of the red pill lifestyle?
At first glance I thought it was absolutely ridiculous (i still think it is at times). I didn’t see how anyone could handle living that kind of life (frame, frame, frame). I only saw the negatives. However, the idea grew on me pretty quickly. A couple months ago when Kyle brought up the idea of having a main girl and then still gaming on the side, it actually didn’t sound like that bad of an idea (you slut!). I still have yet to reach my 20′s so for me settling down completely still seems a long ways away (be wary of the wall, dear. I don’t want you when you’re old and wrinkly). Dating a guy with the “red pill” mindset isn’t as big of a deal as I originally thought. Is it a lifestyle for me personally? No. I’ve experimented with the idea of dating more than one guy (it’s not supposed to be the girl dating more than one guy, optimally. eventually the goal is to have the girl give up on sleeping with other dudes trying to make you jealous and have her focus all the attention on you). It’s alright at first, but I always find myself favoring one over the other which causes me to lose interest quickly and leaves me not feeling very good about myself (females are not as capable of handling a harem). However, I know I still have plenty to learn and experience before trying to lock a serious relationship down so fast (sex and sandwiches; ladies, your life *IS* that easy). Of course though, these weren’t my views prior to discovering this concept.
How has knowing about the blog affected me?
There have definitely been many advantages to having access to this blog. Some of which include the fact that I’m probably a lot more comfortable with this “relationship” than I would be otherwise (i think this is the part that amazes me the most. posts like this, she’s cool with. I like). I’m also more aware of the realities of it. Girls love to twist the meaning of situations, it’s just something we do (spin hamster, SPIN!!!), and I could see that easily happening if I didn’t know as many details. It’s also good because I know what he expects from me (sex & sandwiches) and I know what to expect from him (a great facial), other than what is verbally communicated (does it count as verbal communication when i’m in your mouth?). I’m definitely not out changing myself to fit into the “ideal girl” frame, but it does help with self-improvement and I’m usually not surprised or let down by most of the things he tells me (have you gone to the gym this week?). One last advantage would have to be the fact that this blog, and his knowledge of dating, have become a huge part of his life as of lately, and I enjoy being able to discuss this with him. We have a lot of good conversations stemming from blog posts and other related topics that would not happen if I was still in the dark.
Of course there are also many disadvantages to reading these posts and comments. As much as I hate jealousy and being jealous, it does happen from time to time. I try to avoid it, but you can’t really unread something. Sometimes more knowledge is not a good thing. It just leads to over thinking, worrying, and adding unnecessary confusion. This is something I love to do and know other girls love to do as well. I guess curiosity really did kill the cat. (meow)
How do I feel about this sort of relationship?
Unfortunately the fact that I currently am living over an hour away from SD, and will be for almost another year, has limited our dating opportunities. I can’t say I’ve experienced all sides of it. However, I’ve grown to like the relaxed nature. Most guys I’ve dated in the past would be what you call “betas”. They’re overly clingy (babe, i haven’t talked to you in two days), talking about a future together within the first couple of weeks (please marry me i don’t know if i’ll ever find better), wanting to talk on the phone daily (i hate when you want to talk on the phone), etc. Normally I would have thought that kind of thing was sweet, but now it freaks me out more than anything. This brings about the fact that it’s definitely going to be hard to find another guy who treats me in the same way Kyle does (*smirk*). Most guys don’t have much game or simply don’t have the same confidence in what they’re doing, whether it be in something simple like conversation, or more intimate situations (*smirks again*). If they aren’t confident, I’m definitely not confident. (<– MEN, READ THIS LINE AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL IT IS ENGRAVED IN YOUR BRAIN)
At the end of the day, I don’t like to lead a life of regret. Have I made mistakes over these past four months? Of course. Have I learned a great deal about myself and dating? Definitely. Is there still a lot of unknowns? Ohhh yeah. Would I suggest other girls to read this blog? Yes, but not if they’re dating the author!!! (well, we wouldn’t want girl fights on here, would we? …or would we?) All this aside though, Kyle is actually a really good guy (*rolls eyes*) despite some recent misconceptions based around his strong opinions. Sometimes I hate him, but that’s life. (i’d rather be hated than be the nice guy.)
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and taking the time to write this out, Shannon. It is much appreciated.
Now where’s my sandwich?