The Amazing Experience of Dating Colombian Girls - This Is Trouble
colombian girls

The Amazing Experience of Dating Colombian Girls

Last week I ran a post discussing how I was meeting Colombian girls, including a pretty special one.

While I was pretty content to just get the bang and flag out of the way on the first night (I met her on this site), little did I know I’d end up getting the whole slightly-crazy-but-fun Latin American girlfriend experience.

While no doubt my foreign status made me incredibly high value in her eyes, there is little doubt in my mind that an average man can find a sexy and pleasant girlfriend out of all the Colombian girls, provided he has some sort of game and is willing to put in the work.

With that being said, here are ten notes I took about having a Colombian girlfriend for a week.

#1: Colombian Girls = Unlimited Energy


On my last night with Marianna, I made a joke about having sex fifteen times throughout the night. The look on her face was priceless–pure excitement.

Of course I fell asleep after one round.

I have noticed that here in Los Angeles, I’ve gravitated towards the 23-26 year old range (I’m 24) with the current girls in my harem. I think the combination of under-21s not being able to drink, and most girls from 18-22 being in school and so “busy” with their lives–it just turns me off of them.

On top of that, I simply don’t think your average 20 year old American girl is likely nowhere near as mature as most 20-year-old Colombian girls. I can only stand so much talk about celebrity gossip and how “hard” college is.

I just really prefer girls who don’t speak English, it seems 😉

Back on topic: Marianna was 21, but there is something in the water in Colombia that seems to make almost all of these girls very high energy. Might be something to do with the sun and Barranquilla being so close to the equator.

#2: They…Cook!


I usually end up teaching most of my American girls a few recipes. Rarely can they cook at a level equal or better to myself.

On our last morning in the beach town of Santa Marta, Marianna went to the store with us. We came back and she proceeded to whip up breakfast burritos with an assortment of goodies in them, and even crushed up chocolate candy bars to make homemade chocolate milk.

At one point, I walked into the kitchen to ask if I could help and was promptly shooed away. There’s no doubt in my mind that if ingredients were supplied at every meal, every meal would be taken care of.

#3: The Latina Craziness


I was told pretty sternly after the second night together, “Do not go out to be with other women.”

Of course it didn’t stop me.

But to an extent, it’s well-known throughout the world that Colombian girls can be a little coo coo for cocoa puffs. The good news is that it’s way easier to handle a girl that’s obsessed with you with proper harem management techniques. Far easier than trying to generate attraction.

And as long as you play your cards right, you’ll have a loyal, home-cooking, sex-needing submissive kitten.

#4: Many Colombian Girls Have No Money

The combination of having a shitty job in a country that pays squat, and a habit of buying clothes so they can impress men results in these girls having nothing left over.

Expect to pay for just about everything.


#5: (Some) Are Smart

I’m a realist. Marianna “loves” me because my value is sky-high compared to her. She’s trying to weasel her way to visit me in Los Angeles–and I’m okay with that.

I’m well aware she got a great deal out of our little week-long fling. She got to have some awesome experiences and might even get to visit LA at some point.

Sex is always a transaction, to an extent.

What makes me chuckle is that it easily could have been any of the other girls who flaked on me with the above opportunities, had I taken a liking to them.

#6: They Will Test You

I have to mention what happened one night.

I’d already banged Marianna twice. The first night I arrived (Monday), and then Wednesday night when she brought a friend, who my friend banged.

On Thursday night there was a miscommunication – she said she wanted to come over, I relented, but then she said she was bringing that friend and another friend (who turned out to be her friend’s sister, a Nicki Manaj lookalike without as big of an ass.

And they were all dressed up. Ready to go out.

Another friend already was with a girl, so we were left with 2 of us and 3 of them. We relented and traveled to a ghetto part of town, bought a bottle (roughly $45), and had a good night. At the end of the night, we got out, expecting them to follow us up. We had said we’d pay for the sister to get home. Considering we had both already banged our girls, we obviously expected them to come up and get banged out.

But no, they had to get up early.

They used us to fund their night out and that was it. Marianna could see how disgusted I was and tried to save face the best she could, but I eventually pushed her away and walked inside. She apologized profusely the next day, stating that she just wanted to spend time with me. Of course, this didn’t alleviate my blue balls that were built up from her grinding her fantastic Colombian ass on me all night.

Ultimately I decided to let it go and not let it put a damper on my trip…because…

PS: Here are some of the best cities for nightlife in Latin America.


Marianna knew after the leaving me with blue balls that it wasn’t acceptable to not put out whenever I wanted. I have no doubt that the look on my face when she left – as well as being a bit cold in the texts afterwards – that she got the message. No sex from her, no nothing from me.

She banged my brains out the rest of the time we spent together.

#8: Masculine & Feminine Balance Is ALIVE With Colombian Girls


Just not in America, usually.

I try to stay positive. Los Angeles is a tough city. Most of my girls here end up being feminine and submissive, but the amount of work it takes to find them, seduce them, and then fall into that role is extraordinary. It’s not worth the effort in a lot of cases.

In Colombia I’d reckon almost every girl will happily fall into this balance with you.

#9: Family Matters to Colombian Women

Another reason to never bring a foreign girl back to America. They’ll miss their family terribly. It’s important to them. Marianna was practically in tears when telling me she won’t be with her family throughout all of December – though she’ll still visit them at Christmas. But she wants to spend the whole month with them.

Contrast that to me who will go home for all of four days for this entire calendar year.

#10: Are They Immune to American Poison?


Marianna got her passport. She’ll apply for the visa now. If she gets it, she’ll visit me for a week to ten days.

And by the end of it, I’m fascinated to see if she’s hooked on our crap food, overpriced way of life, and general American life.

If and when this happens, you can expect a hell of a lot of content on it.

PS: If you want to meet cool Colombian girls like Marianna, start with this website.

Leave a Comment:

Field Report: 9 Thoughts On Having A Colombian Girlfriend | says December 14, 2015

[…] Field Report: 9 Thoughts On Having A Colombian Girlfriend […]

Oliver Maerk says December 14, 2015

I liked your series about Columbian
girls very much. It shows that the good women have not died out in the world –
you only have to know where to look for them.

    This Is Trouble says December 14, 2015

    Thank you!

    Kyle | This Is Trouble says December 16, 2015

    Thanks man, I appreciate that.

Dating In America: Does It Ever Get Better? - This Is Trouble says December 19, 2015

[…] A Frustrating Exercise In Futility‘, which really struck home after my recent experiences in […]

Brianmark says January 27, 2016

How much Spanish do you speak? I’ve been to Colombia and plan on returning.

    Kyle | This Is Trouble says January 27, 2016

    Very little.

    Took three semesters in college but never practiced. I knew enough to make super gringo conversation but that’s about it.

      Brianmark says January 30, 2016

      So all the girls your pulling in Columbia, not knowing Spanish is not a big deal? What percentage speak English.

        Kyle | This Is Trouble says January 31, 2016

        Less than 5% of people in Barranquilla spoke English.

        It’s probably higher in Bogota or Medellin.

        Didn’t matter that I didn’t know Spanish because my game is tight.

"I've Seen How They Look At Him" - This Is Trouble says June 22, 2016

[…] And a decent part of that was because of this girl. […]

Screen a Foreign Girl: Here's What To Do - This Is Trouble says September 9, 2016

[…] example, it’s not unreasonable for a Colombian girl to really hope you’d know some Spanish, or want you to make an attempt to learn some. But you […]

How to Have Sex with Dominican Women - This Is Trouble says December 15, 2016

[…] in the Dominican Republic is not at epidemic levels like in Colombia but you will get flaked on a lot. You’ll get flaked on if it’s raining, if she is lazy […]

5 Latin American Adventures You Must Have - This Is Trouble says March 21, 2017

[…] Cartagena and Santa Marta, you can rent jet skis in the Carribean for dirt cheap. I’m talking around $15-20 USD for a […]

5 Things You Do In Day-to-Day Life That Gets You Free Travel - This Is Trouble says March 27, 2017

[…] The Salsa Clubs of Colombia? […]

A Seducer's Guide To Peruvian Women and Peru - This Is Trouble says September 14, 2017

[…] girls’ aesthetics, I always counter that the girls have really cute faces (second only to Colombian girls). Unfortunately, they can’t compete with their northern neighbours from the neck […]

Well Healed says April 22, 2018

You don’t have a clue about Colombiana’s stud.I’ve lived in Colombia over 16 years.Live in Colombia as long as I have then elaborate factual info.

    Kyle Trouble says April 22, 2018

    Then share it, cause right now you just sound like a tough dude on the internet.

Add Your Reply