Part 1 here.
Continuing forward from what I discussed here, which originally spawned from my emo-ness of the other night, this is something I’m trying to balance in my life. I don’t want to be the jerk who doesn’t call girls when he says, flakes, and is generally, well, a jerk. It’s not me. Despite my constant sarcastic and borderline misogynistic comments, I’ve got a good heart. Somewhere. Deep down. In the abyss.
So, the question is, how do you balance it? It all comes down to balancing, confidence, and being a little hard-to-get. Pull her close, then push her away. Compliment her and then show a slight bit of disgust at yourself for slipping up and saying it. Do something nice then go pursue other things and don’t contact her for a day or two. Answer her texts, but be shorter than you normally would. Admit if she’s winning you over, but show an increasing level of frustration over the fact that she is. Examples (these are all things that have happened within the last few weeks).
Pull her close and then push her away. I think my favorite thing to do is look into a girls eyes and say something like, “Your eyes are stunning. I’m such a sucker for nice eyes. I hate you. You’re cheating. Stop it.” Do one thing physically (pull close, say something nice), then push her away slightly (feign disgust, tell her she sucks, etc).
Compliment her and show a slight bit of disgust at yourself. I was saying goodbye to one of my girls, and let out a, “Bye, beautiful.” Let’s keep in mind I generally keep the compliments to a minimum, and it was actually a complete accident that I let it slip. Her eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. I immediately feigned massive disappointment in myself, saying, “Damnit! That wasn’t supposed to come out. I hate you.” I gave her another kiss, closed her car door and walked away. She texted me five minutes later saying, “You just made my day.” My response, “The compliment or the fact that I slipped up”? Her response, “The compliment.”
Do something nice then go pursue other things. I took a girl out on the ferry and to dinner. We got dressed up, had a wonderful evening. I was busy the next several days and did not contact her. She texted me two days later telling me what a wonderful time we had and how much she appreciated what I did.
Admit if she’s winning you over. Tell a girl you like it. Show massive amounts of frustration that she is. Act like you don’t want to get involved with her. Tell her to stop doing what she’s doing or she’s going to make you like her more. You get where I’m going with this.
I think it’s critical to have a little bit of nice guy in you, especially if you want a relationship. These are just some things that have been successful for me with girls I’m dating (they could backfire at any moment though ;)). Use them at your own risk. Remember that there’s no reward without risk.