Common things everyone has heard at some point in their life:
Nice guys finish last
Only assholes get the girls
Girls are stupid for liking assholes
Wah wah wah I’m so nice but I can’t find a girl
Going back to my post here, I decided I wanted to delve a little deeper into this. How do you properly balance being a good guy but still maintain the attractive qualities that make the ladies swoon? Is it possible? What are the repercussions? Before getting into this though, let’s talk about the initial attraction itself.
Why are women attracted to the jerks, the bad boys, the assholes, the ALPHAS? While one could write a book about the finer points of this, it really comes down to the biology of human interaction and life. Women are the fairer, submissive sex. It is natural that they want to find a man who possessed leadership and masculine qualities. In caveman days, those men gave her the best chance of survival, and the best chance of raising quality offspring (as well as their survival). Now, these days, nobody is dragging anyone into any caves, and no one who is single is faced with possibly starving because they can’t hunt. However, it hasn’t been that long, in the grand scheme of things. It is really in the last fifty years or so that women are not dependent on a man for her survival and well-being.
So, then, what are the qualities that are left of a strong man? Aloofness. Indifference. Leadership. Confidence. Charisma. Being demanding, even a little selfish. Who possesses these qualities? The jerks, bad boys, assholes, and alphas. Guys who lack these qualities are the nice guys. The ones who, while there is nothing wrong with them on paper, don’t display any of these qualities. Take the below as examples of what often is said by nice guys:
“You’re the only girl for me.” Why it doesn’t work: it shows that she is his world. He has no other options. That is a lot of pressure on the girl
“What do you want to do for dinner?” Why it doesn’t work: No leadership. Just decide. We’re going to dinner at X restaurant. Wear a dress. Try it. See what happens.
“Can I kiss you?” Why it doesn’t work: First of all, fucking gag me. This screams, “I don’t think I’m good enough for you, so I’ll ask for your approval. No balls, no confidence.
Now, I’m hardly the first manosphere dude to write about this, but if some poor guys stumbles across my blog and the light bulb clicks, awesome. That would tickle my ice cold heart a bit. I was destined for a life of monogamy, late-night jerkoff sessions, and probably loneliness. It’s not always easy to write about and admit the mistakes I made, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it.
Part 2 tomorrow.
I think you will find this article really interesting! 🙂 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201204/does-playing-hard-get-make-you-fall-in-love
I have to say, normally I ignore any and all advice when it comes to dating, love, sex from the so called “experts”, but this guy does put a good scientific spin on it! Nice find. At the same time though – you can’t continue to play hard to get forever if you want to settle down and have a fulfilling monogamous relationship. I am trying to find the fine line when you’re actually into each other…enough to still challenge the girl to keep the passion going.
What are your thoughts on this/that article?