I love Kyiv.
The question I keep asking myself is this: do I have the blinders on?
Am I blinded by this one great and beautiful girl I’m dating? Am I blinded by the fact that there seems to be a mini army of Victoria’s Secret models parading on the street in front of my apartment?
The first week I was here, I was almost ready to leave. The Easter holiday meant that everybody migrated away for the week. It was dead. The streets were devoid of both beautiful girls and cars.
It would have been an easy choice then.
But now, not so much.
LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE
Human nature always dictates that we want what we cannot have. Sucks, but it is what it is. And so of course, part of me is itching to return to Poland. Poland, the land of relatively loose girls who speak great English and love brown(ish) men like myself.
Versus Ukraine.
The land where people do not want to speak English to me at all. The land where I can’t read any food labels, or street signs. And where the girls are five times harder to fuck…but also seem to be of superior stock.
I mean, I seriously want to know what they put in the water here that breeds such beauty. Or perhaps it’s because they actually don’t drink the water at all. Perhaps they’re on to something.
Anyways.
I’m sitting in a little cafe and writing this. It’s quaint, in the back alley of a cool little neighborhood. It’s pouring outside, and I got drenched on my way over. My allergies are currently hell because it seems everything is blooming. Yesterday I had my third consecutive burger order get fucked up (what is it with these damn people and insisting on putting a gallon of mayo on everything?).
And yet…
I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE
Because for whatever reason, Kyiv is this city that you can have such a love/hate relationship with. Kind of like New York City is for me at times.
For example, in New York:
I love that there is always something to do, every night of the week.
I hate that there is always something to do, every night of the week – because it means you get worn down and spend a lot of money.
I love that there is a good food joint on every street and every corner.
I hate that there is as good food joint on every street and corner – because it means I never will cook (especially since it’s practically cheaper to eat out).
I love that there are so many people.
I hate that there are so many people – because…well, yeah.
I love that it’s so diverse.
I hate that it’s so diverse.
Switching gears back to Kyiv:
I love that there is such a chaotic mess at all times in the street.
I hate that there is such a chaotic mess at all times in the street – because I never know if I’m going to end up under a G-class.
I love that nobody speaks English.
I hate that nobody speaks English – because I can’t even get a damn burger without mayo.
I love that, in the city center, you can walk underground everywhere.
I hate that, in the city center, you can walk underground everywhere, because I can’t read the damn street signs and I get lost.
I love that it’s so cheap to eat out – I can go to the small cafeteria and have a chicken breast, ground beef, and potatoes for $2.
I hate that it’s so cheap to eat out – because I never cook.
I love that they’re slightly racist against brown skinned people – it means they won’t ever get invaded by refugees.
I hate that they’re slightly racist against brown skinned people – it makes my life generally more difficult.
A FUTILE EXERCISE
Okay, enough’s enough of that.
The point of this is: making decisions like this is tough. My girl here is of top shelf quality in both the looks and personality department, and I hate to say it – but I have no doubt if I lost her, there would be another high quality girl to replace her, just around the corner (albeit with three dates). It just seems like it’s the thing here.
California exports avocados.
Ukraine exports beautiful and feminine women.
It’s too bad Americans can’t trade some avocados for some women.
Contrast that to Poland, where they’re certainly good-looking and good natured – but let’s be honest. They’re slutty. The evidence doesn’t lie.
Which leads me to this: I’ve had my share of slutty one night stands, flings, and more. I’ve lived a pretty full life for someone my age. The thrill of new conquests still gives me pleasure, but it also comes at a cost: less energy to pour into the business, more late nights, and therefore mornings, and the high fades after a day or so.
Am I just old and boring?
Apparently some fellow bloggers have a pool going on how long it is until I get married. They suspect it’ll be within five years. I don’t know what to think of that.
Am I shifting to valuing quality over quantity?
And if so: what about the quality of LIFE in Poland, where it’s far easier to communicate, it’s far more modern, and I just fit in better.
Is that quality of life worth the cost of a quality girl(s)?
Many men before me have tried to solve this problem, and it seems many of them are still seeking the answer. I don’t know if I will ever find the answer to this.
And maybe I don’t want to.
All I know is, I’m enjoying trying.
The Harem Handbook is just a few days away, and people are continuing to rave about it.
“Am I just old and boring?”
Not at all my friend, you are just maturing. Realising that shallow pursuits hold little lasting value.
You’re approaching a level of maturity now that men 10-15 years your senior in the manosphere have failed to achieve.
But am I sacrificing some years of fun by maturing this fast?
Questions, questions.
Are you maturing? Or are you just being who you are?
I mean, most people are just dumb fucks that never ever “mature”. Some are more playful and easy going, some not. Some are a bit wiser, some not. And so on.
That may sound stupid, like lines “be yourself” and other bullshit like that, but not all of us where born equal. So maybe it is time to accept who we are and work with that. Well there is no point trying to be someone who we are not.
Don’t get me wrong, that does not mean you cannot improve who you are or cannot change at all. Not at all. But there are some properties of you that cannot be improved. Just like short guy cannot become 2.3m, so some mental characteristics of you cannot be changed.
And maybe it is so with what we want from world? Some want family, some just want to fuck ton of women. So maybe it is wise to accept what we truly want and just go with it?
Not saying that you or any other man should have kids right now or in 5, 10 years. Just some random thoughts on the matter.
I’ve always had an “old soul”. Definitely never been a dumbfuck. Or done dumbfuck things 😉
Great comment my man.
Yeah, never taken you for dumbfuck.
As for “old soul” thing, i get it. I myself am kinda one. Not really, but close.
You are a bit based off the way you write.
My .02.
Sacrificing what though? You are doing what makes you happy. How is that a sacrifice for something you think you “should” be fun? And on what basis ought that be fun?
It’s hollow my friend, a poor substitute for emotional connection with a quality girl. It’s just a band-aid for weak egos.
“Fun” = being an absolute whore and utilizing all my skills I’ve learned over the years to have lots and lots of soulless sex with random girls.
Not gonna lie, as shallow and stupid as it is I definitely have a number I’d like to hit one day.
But as I sit here in Odessa, I’m really just missing that one girl. I have no motivation for others. I’m not inspired.
So truly, I think you’re right.
5 years sounds about right. You can do a lot of stuff in 5 years than have lots of little troubles running around and giving you hell.
ahhhh I won’t even be thirty at that point! That’s crazy!
I’m the youngest in a family of 5 and my parents had me before 30. It’s nice to have young parents that can do stuff with the kids. If you find someone you really like in a couple years don’t knock it cause you’re too young. 26-27 isn’t that young.
Yeah I get what you’re saying, I just have a hard time imagining it.
“You’re being old and boring” is usually what people say when they want you to join them in being a dumbass. But I’m sure you knew that.
Quality trumps quantity every time. Whether you believe in God, evolution or a combination, man was never created/evolved for endless variety. You can make a case for polygamy or monogamy, but not endless promiscuity.
One of the dirty secrets of male sexuality is that we are just as emotional as women about sex and relationships, but it’s different emotions. Having a woman look at you like she would hide a gun for you is a more powerful drug than even sex itself. It’s humbling paradoxically.
Great comment.
But let’s think about this: from a biological perspective it actually makes sense for a man to bang as many girls as possible. Our species used to have a mission: SURVIVE.
That was it.
Surviving as a man meant spreading seed far and wide so your genetic line has a better chance of making it. Of course, one could argue that from a biological sense it also gives offspring a better chance of survival and thriving if the father is around.
Thoughts?
Well, that would have been true if in ancient times there was plenty of resource, but that is relatively new and modern situation. Most of people lived in dangerous, resource scarce environments. And lets not forget about winters and so on. Monogamy makes a lot more sense in such environment.
So not really, we are not evolved to fuck endless number of women.
Even polygamy makes a certain amount of sense as a temporary stop gap if the tribe is truly low on males.
And, to sound like a sap, men actually have emotional and psychological needs as well, we’re just not used to American women actually attempting to fill those needs so we’ve neglected them.
Yes, polygamy makes a lot of sense, especially after wars. But polygamy is quite different than hookups, there is still emotional level and carrying for ones offspring.
Well, that is quite obvious, I would say that this reflects itself even more physically, special kind of synergy. At least for me, when I meet women, that fill those needs, I am more horny than ever, almost as when I was 16-17 years boy with raging hormones and that was 10 years ago.
Good and almost spiritual sex with a girl you like or love almost always beats the one night stands.
My problem might be that I fall in love too quick, ha!
Had the same problem until i realized that was not love, not at all. Just had a emotional need to connect with girl. Wen I discovered it my quickly falling in love problem was fixed to some extent.
Not saying you have same problem, but it is worth to examine your feelings, all of them.
I do same thing whem I get angry, sad and so on. Sometimes results are pretty silly when brought to light.
It’s Western society. No emotional connection. Now it’s like reawakening the beast.
Well, just be careful. Fire is wonderful thing, but you can get burned if you are carefree with it.
Fire is fun!
Well, it certainly is fun, but also dangerous as hell.
When I was 15-17 I liked playing with fire a lot, I had hobby of blowing up really big cans of hair spray, fun thing to do, just throw one into fire and wait few minutes. But ones I almost burned face of two homeless that thought that using my fire was good idea to get warm during winter.
Oh god, don’t get me started on some of my old 4th of July stories…
What are these emotions you speak of?
But you’re right. After this Ukrainian girl who I REALLY like, I’m sitting here like “Wow…okay, I can still feel things…hm this is weird.”
I kind of went through the same thing with this Russian girl I was dating (almost married, but that’s a long boring story). She was the first girl I had ever dated who put in so much effort and was so caring, I didn’t know how to process it intellectually.
My first girlfriend was Czech, my best girlfriend was Russian, and my best bad girlfriend was from Kazakhstan. I have dated many American girls, but east of the Elbe has just been so much better to me.
Jesus, sounds like you’ve been spoiled rotten by EE 😉
Where do you live now?
Oddly enough, I live in Houston and met all of those women in Houston. Because of the oil industry, I didn’t go to EE, EE came to me. It’s still not uncommon for me to meet women from Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, etc. I kind of think of Houston as Americas unsung international city. I mean, no one comes here for tourism or the climate, but oil and gas brings people from everywhere here.
Jesus, really? Might have to scout it out one day then. I hear great things about the women from Dallas so maybe it applies to Houston too.
Word to the wise if you ever plan a trip, Houston is 400 square miles of city. You can have 10 people visit and they’ll come away with 10 different opposing opinions of what the city is like. Oddly enough I think it’s a very nice place to live, but I can’t picture anybody visiting.
Shoot I would vote for it as one of the best big cities in America for quality of life for the dollar. It also has that Southern thing where women take care of their appearance more on average. I once spent a week in Boston and I think I saw one well dressed woman, maybe, from a distance. [OT but c’mon Boston, I know it’s cold but so is Montreal and those French Canadian chicks manage it]
Montreal is one of my favorite cities in NA, hell maybe even the world. It’s beautiful and the women are sexy. Amazing food too.
My current new city in Ukraine is actually kinda like that. Not as much care for appearance.
Damn hipsters…
How does it make sense?
Low chance of survival = reproduce as much as possible!
Well, children take resources. First 6-10 years they are only cost, no benefit. Most children die young, very young. So you wanna make sure they live. And women that you fucked has to live too, in olden days pregnant women would not have a chance of survival without a man to help her.
So it makes a sense to stay and make sure your offspring makes it to adulthood. And it makes a sense to make sure that you daugther is not impregnated by wrong man.
Fair point.
And lets not forget that sex is dance for two, it is females that make the rules really. So you should also see it from point of female in resource scarce environment. Who you gonna fuck you when all sex can result in child and pregnancy can mean death for you. It makes you weaker, slower and risk of death during birth is high.
That’s it.
Modern day lack of consequences for sex has changed everything.
Really just the one.
Biology seems to fight promiscuity by developing diseases faster than we can cure them and by giving pretty grim outcomes to fatherless children. Your line has a much better chance of survival if you choose the hottest (to be able to safely carry the child and impart good genes on her side), sweetest (more likely actually to care for the child), most sensible (be able to care for the child well) woman you can muster and keeping her close to make sure bears don’t get in the hut and ruin your good work.
Of course effective birth control and antibiotics mitigates a lot of risk, but it really puts promiscuity in the same analogous boat as a high sugar diet: not possible for much of human history, terrible outcomes, but a lot of those can be mitigated to an extent with science.
[OT but…featured twice, ochen horosho! Spasibo!]
Do you think that when survival was the only thing in mind that men worried about what those kids grew up to BE?
Because even retarded kids are better than no kids when extinction is at stake.
I actually agree with your points but I’m really going down to nitty gritty, animalistic talk here.
You’re welcome 😉
I think yes, even Neanderthal man was comparably in intelligence to Homo Erectus. The tribes that thrived the most were exactly the ones that made this kind of distinction. Real survival requires real thinking, that’s where man as animal really thrives. Plenty of animals are stronger, faster, and have much greater built in tools for hunting and killing. Man is the animal that outsmarts those animals and makes their skins his clothes and their claws his jewelry.
And well, as much as I believe in the dignity of the disabled, retarded kids are no good from a tribal survival perspective. A man with many sons is, historically, a strong man. A man with daughters even has something to trade, again historically. A man with retards and bastards has it worse than the childless man.
That’s a fair point: it really could be summed up in “quality over quantity”, which is completely appropriate for this conversation as a whole (bad city, quality girl).
And I suppose if the retards are incapable of fathering and raising children, then it is better to be childless.
Dude, take five minutes and learn some basic phrases in the local language.
I know a dozen or so at this point.
Does not mean conversational.