American Girls: Shave their legs once a week. “I wear pants at work, so what’s the point?”
Colombian Girls: Shave their legs twice a day so you can enjoy it.
American Girls: “How about microwavable Easy Mac?”
Colombian Girls: Shoo you out of the kitchen as they prep you a delicious meal from scratch.
American Girls: Are overweight with flab hanging everywhere but proclaim they are beautiful.
Colombian Girls: Are insecure that their butt is too big when in reality you just want to use it as a pillow.
American Girls: Dance like autistic children but think they could be on Dancing With the Stars.
Colombian Girls: Actually know how to dance.
American Girls: Cockblock to no end if they have no one.
Colombian Girls: Bring friends for your friends. No joke – I nailed a girl the first night, and we went out to the clubs two nights later. She brought a friend for one of my two friends. The next time they brought that friend’s sister for my other friend.
American Girls: Make good money but blow it all.
Colombian Girls: Make no money.
American Girls: Demand you to pay their Uber, their drinks, and more while proclaiming they are independent and don’t need men.
Colombian Girls: Sweetly ask if you can cover the $3 for their cab ride to your place.
American Girls: Complain.
Colombian Girls: Always happy.
American Girls: Make me want to kill myself.
Colombian Girls: Make me want to move to a shit hole city where you can’t flush toilet paper so I can drink cheap beer and make love to them 24/7.
Yeah…I miss it.