America - This Is Trouble
america

America

America, where we’re more excited about “American Horror Story,” than American history class.

America, land of the free, where men are shamed if they express their full masculinity.

America, home of the brave, where men are forced to cower (easily) behind their 250-pound wife.

America, where the American Dream begins…and dies, in a cubicle with a bag of Cheetos scattered across the floor.

America, where our greatest strength is our belief in second chances…except when it comes to fathers unable to pay their child support because the wife cleared him out clean.

America, which is more than a country.  It’s an idea that is supposed to be contagious.  That’s unfortunate.

America, where we ask, “Not what our country can do for us, but what we can do for our country?”, but it’s too bad that Americans just ask Siri.

America, where we pay for the cost of freedom, in the form of 70 hour work weeks.

America, where we pay $50/month for gym memberships, but linger in our car in the parking lot, hoping to nab the spot that’s fifty feet closer than the last one to avoid the walk.

America, where we have but one life to give to our country, but we do what everyone else does.

America, where the release of the latest iPhone is celebrated more than ground-breaking science.

America, where a woman is a man with a vagina.  Actually, CORRECTION: where men are women with penises.

America, where you’re supposed to work hard to barely make it, while paying for “Sally’s” three children from three different guys because she was “lost”.

America, where we either are given liberty, or given death.  Well, my American dream is my trip to Eastern Europe next spring.

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13 comments
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resilientone says October 17, 2013

Sarajevo 2014. It’s on!

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    Trouble.Maker says October 17, 2013

    I just texted you about tomorrow dawg!

    I’m on the guest list at Stingaree.

    Reply
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Life As A Married Man | This Is Trouble says October 19, 2013

[…] hear him talking all the time, she nags him a lot.  Think about that.  He got her over here to MURICAAAAA!, foots the entire bill for her education, feeds her, clothes her, and puts a roof over his head.  […]

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My Job | This Is Trouble says November 14, 2013

[…] don’t think I want to live in California my whole life, much less America.  This opportunity, if I were to get it, would allow me to work anywhere in the world that I had a […]

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Match Theory | This Is Trouble says December 7, 2013

[…] to talk career wise, working 70 hours a week is not healthy in any way, shape, or form.  Only in America are we willing to work so many hours for precious little piece of the pie.  Every extra hour spent […]

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Cancer Is Good, It Gives China Missile Protection | This Is Trouble says December 12, 2013

[…] own personal gain, with no regard for the citizens that vote for them.  Not much different from America.  Do the Chinese not smell the hypocrisy ringing from their ears?  Does it not realize it is […]

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China Has The World’s Largest Rationalization Hamster says December 13, 2013

[…] own personal gain, with no regard for the citizens that vote for them.  Not much different from America. Does it not realize it is killing off its own people who could prove useful in a war with […]

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You Aren’t Owed Shit | This Is Trouble says December 18, 2013

[…] think because you are a citizen of America, you’re owed a bunch of free handouts.  You’re not…oh wait, you are, […]

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Always Raw Dog | This Is Trouble says January 15, 2014

[…] to help clean up our welfare budget, eliminate worthless degrees, and improve the life of countless American women.  And it’s so simple; have more unprotected […]

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Daddy, Please Stop Calling Her A Princess | This Is Trouble says February 18, 2014

[…] no royal family here in America.  Therefore, there should be absolutely no reason for fathers in America to call their daughter(s) princesses.  Actually, one could make the argument then that this […]

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Hacking Your Sexual Marketplace Value As A Male | This Is Trouble says March 23, 2014

[…] in today’s poisonous society, females are becoming increasingly competitive amongst males as well – resulting in MOAR CATS […]

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What The Fuck Is The Point Of Being A Man? - This Is Trouble says June 7, 2014

[…] me this, what kind of chance does a young boy have in today’s American world? Especially one who has a genuinely kind heart, but lacks the self esteem to push himself […]

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Inspirational Movies To Give You A Kick In The Ass - This Is Trouble says October 22, 2014

[…] Affleck kills it as the director and actor in this one. It gives me a sense of heroism and American pride; whether that’s a good thing or […]

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