Last updated: May 14, 2014

A Letter From 30 Year Old Me



Dear 22 Year Old Trouble Maker,

First off, congratulations on graduating college in three years and landing a job at a top Fortune 500 company at the tender age of 21.  While you’ll undoubtedly enjoy the perks of the job, understand that there are downsides to this type of life.  However, don’t take that to mean it as a bad thing.  The world is at yours fingertips and you have limitless potential.  However, despite this, you’re at a very confusing point in your life.  None of your friends are graduating, and the few that are are showing little to no inclination to actually putting that great liberal arts degree to any use out in the “real world.”  In addition to this, being out of college means that the super easy lifestyle of making friends is gone.  You have more than enough social skills to continue building a great social circle, but you will simply have to work harder at it.  Accept the challenge for what it is, and don’t let those social skills go dormant for long.  Like any skill, you need to keep honing them and keep practicing to keep them sharp.  There are a lot of items I need to discuss with you, so let’s dive in.

The Transition

Understand that this is a confusing time of your life.  You are transitioning from the college world to the real world, and all the responsibilities that come with that.  You will feel like your friends are deserting you, that you are fighting the battle alone.  Understand that you are not alone, and that this transition is simply a part of growing up, and will make you into a better, more well-rounded man.  With time.  Unfortunately for you as well, having recently discovered that you’ve been lied to your entire life upon discovery of the Manosphere, you are transitioning in that sense, as well.  Your new outlook on life will alienate people, friends and family alike.  You must be willing to lose them.  They simply fear what you know and what you’re capable of, and are too much of a pussy to accept it deep within themselves.  Fuck these people.  You are much better off without them dragging you down from everything you want to accomplish.  Understand that while Mom and Dad may roll their eyes at you with some of the things you now believe in, nonetheless they fully support you, as they always have.

The Living Situation

I know you dream of the bright lights and pretty girls of New York City.  You should absolutely pursue it.  Try the move to the downtown area of San Diego as you are planning; if you love it in any way, shape, or form, you will likely love New York City.  Understand too, that with work dangling the possibility of moving to London in the near future, that should be an option as well.  I know you do not want to stay in San Diego for the rest of your life.  You feel like you’ve outgrown it, in a way.  That was where you did your college time and now you want to move on again, to try something new.  My advice would be to continue working your ass off, and see if London pans out.  Give it until your 24th birthday.  If at that point nothing is coming of that, it is time to pack your bags and move to New York City.  If work is unwilling to find you a new position there, quit.  You owe them nothing.

However, if London does work out, you cannot pass that up.  Save your money, and take a $100 flight to different European countries every weekend.  Explore any and all areas, as opposed to just the tourist-attracting countries like Spain, Italy, and France.  Check out the off-the-radar countries, such as Ukraine, Russia, and Poland.  While there, think long and hard about the way of European life.  How is it different from America?  Do you see yourself being happy there long-term?  How are the women, are you more likely to find a pleasant and feminine girl to enjoy?  Mom will be devastated if you move to Europe full time; but you need to put your personal happiness above all else.

Dream big.

The Fitness

You already know that your love of cycling and triathlon has waned in recent months, due to the exhaustion and scheduling of working forty hours a week.  However, I would encourage you to keep participating in these on some levels.  You have some great friends in there, so do enough to keep yourself in shape and go on some weekend rides with the crew.  Set some goals for yourself: the Carlsbad marathon next year is a great place to start, since getting hit by the truck last year put a halt on that.  Think about doing an Ironman like you’ve always wanted, but don’t become a total slave to it.

However, continue expanding upon your fitness goals and plateaus.  Continue taking Krav Maga and other forms of self defense, as they are a constant challenge and are fucking manly. Continue lifting weights, eating clean, and you will have a physique at 30 that you can be proud of.

The Money & Side Hustles

Keep writing.  The blog is starting to see some real consistent viewership and commenting.  Who knows where it could take you?  Worst case scenario, you have a great website to market yourself on.  Continue writing and submitting posts to Viva La Manosphere and Return of Kings.  These are people that understand where you are in the world and you can learn how to navigate it through their prior experience.

You have several great book ideas; I encourage you to pursue writing each and every one of them.  However, start with the easy one first.  Get your feet off the ground and get some experience with writing, editing, and publishing.  The other two ideas are much more long-term, and you may not even be at a maturity level where you can really say and articulate everything you want to get out.  However, don’t let another year go by without putting SOMETHING out there.

Continue honing your freelance web design and graphic skills.  Continue to pursue that great business endeavor you’re just now starting to enter with Dad.  It has the potential to be a smashing success and bring a lot of wealth and cool experiences along with it.  All of these things combined could easily replace your 9-6 income in the next 5 years if you decide you no longer want to live that life.

The Game


No more fucking excuses.  Yes, your online game is solid as a rock, and while not quite as strong, your nightgame is very good as well.  However, you are letting too many opportunities pass by you at the grocery store.  That cute girl at Chiptotle yesterday who was flirting with you in line?  What the fuck was that, man?  You opened her and had her hooked, but didn’t play the logistics card right and then you wussed out.

Go to the grocery store every day you can after work, at least get yourself out there.  You have to make it to the game before you can play.  That’s half the battle, then you’ve got to figure out how to beat approach anxiety on a more consistent basis.  Start talking to everyone on a *deeper* level, and daygame will become your new playground.

Do not half-ass this.

The Relationships

Understand that “The One,” doesn’t exist.  Stop pining after one girl.  You are still years and years away from your sexual prime.  By your 30s, women will be throwing themselves at you.  You’ll own a business or two, have published a book, be a skilled martial artist, and your guitar skills are pretty remarkable.  You have no reason to settle down with just one girl at this point, because in a short while you will have flocks of them wanting to settle down with you.  I know now you want to date the ones that are older than you, but be careful with these ones.  Use a condom.  They will try to tie you down if they feel like the clock is ticking.  When you’re 25 you’ll have no issue getting a 30 year old, who is well over the hill.  Age and beauty matters.

Stop looking for that one dream girl, as you will become bored and likely relapse from all of your dreams, adventures, and self improvement.  I would also encourage you not to do these self improvement things in the hopes that it will raise your chances of landing ONE dream girl.  Do it because you want to, because it makes you more of a fucking man.  Do it because you want to be the best you can be, not what society says the best you can be is.  Society will tell you to slave away at your 9-6 until you’re 65 years old, (and it will probably be 75 by the time you are that age) get on a knee and propose in a year or two, have some little munchkins, and live in the suburbs with a white picket fence.

Fuck what society tells you.  It will only handicap you from being someone who has broken free of the shackles of what is “society-approved,” which is a bunch of fairytale bullshit you’ve been sold for the last 22 years of your life.

My final piece of advice is to focus on yourself.  Be as selfish as you can be, because despite what everyone says, that’s the way everyone approaches the world.  I know you still struggle to let go of some of the beliefs instilled in you for the past 22 years, but the changes and beliefs you’ve gained over just the last few months since diving into the Red Pill are what will ultimately bring you happiness and fulfillment.

Good luck.


Your 30 Year Old Self

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