Last updated: February 1, 2019

A Few Thoughts On Neediness



A lot of men say they want a girl who isn’t high maintenance and needy.

However, there is a key differentiator between the two that nobody seems to recognize.

Namely, that a girl who is a little bit needy is a girl who is simply…well, in love with you. Maybe she’s needy because she’s always wanting your help, or making she always wants you to make the decisions whilst not shouldering any responsibility herself. However, you must realize something about this.

It means…

She has effectively submitted to you.

She has chosen to trust you and the direction of her life with your decisions.

This is a girl who is…well, a good girl.

Now, neediness does have its bounds.

But don’t mistake that for honest to God submission.

You don’t get to have the submissive girl and then complain when she wants you to make a decision. That’s hypocritical. It’s your responsibility to bear if you decide to date the more traditional girls. Simple facts of life. Can’t have it both ways.

There is a major difference between this, “cute, I trust you to run my life” neediness though and the girl who suffers from seething jealousy, tries to control you, wants to do everything little thing with you, etc.

That’s cringe-inducing neediness, but you’ll probably notice that’s more likely to happen with a girl you are casually seeing.

Effectively, it’s a way to snare you into a trap.

She needs you.

You need to help her (damsel in distress and all).

You become co-dependent on each other.

That rarely ends well.

I’ll tell you this:

Jealousy is another thing that’s thought of as oh so bad in the dating world, but in reality, it’s not at all.

A little jealousy from her end is completely, 100% healthy.

Not so jealous that she’s trying to blow up your phone when you’re out with the boys.

But a simple, “Soooo…did you talk to any girls tonight?”, said with a bit of suspicion and arousal…

That’s the kind of jealousy that keeps a relationship strong.

She should always feel like she’s having to work for you, your attention, and to be with you.

That’s a healthy relationship.

Anyways, I’ll be dropping the “Girlfriend Blueprint” in about a month’s time, on 3/3.

In the meantime though, I would love your detailed thoughts (a big thank you to everyone who responded to the email yesterday).

Here’s the link to complete the survey:

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