My week in Barranquilla and Santa Marta, Colombia was absolutely amazing. I had some killer guys to hang out with, met some beautiful Colombian women, and saw some stunning places.
I even acquired what was basically a Colombian girlfriend for the week.
My Stats With Colombian Women
- Total Dates: 5
- Dates with girls who spoke zero English: 4
- Bangs: 2
- Nights I got laid (out of 8): 5
Here’s how it broke down as far as my dates with Colombian women:
Girl 1: Came over on the first night, and did not speak any English. She was very into me from the start – we simply sat on the bed, drank wine, and talked on Google Translate. I fucked her within about an hour and a half. I ended up seeing her several more times throughout the week and she came up to Santa Marta to spend a day at the beach with us.
Girl 2: No English, but was a waste of time. Met off Tinder, and then told me she just wanted to meet people and talk. I kicked her out after about 45 minutes, and she had the gall to ask for a taxi, too.
Girl 3: Same as above. Came over, had wine. Managed to get her shirt off, but nothing further. Ran out of time on this one.
Girl 4: Spoke fluent English and had spent time in the States. Met her at a pizza place and it was pretty clear she was just out to practice her English; even though she had played all sorts of flaky games prior to meeting. She was also dull as shit.
Girl 5: No English, and had a boyfriend in Bogota. I actually managed to “logic” her into having sex with me, saying that a long-distance relationship was hard and that I would never ruin her relationship, as I was leaving in just a couple of days. I told her I understood she had physical needs that obviously weren’t being met. To my pleasant surprise, this actually worked.
“Girl 6”: I met on Tinder – she was Colombian but had been working in San Jose, CA – not too far from where I grew up. She and her cousin were staying at a nice resort a ten minute cab ride away from our apartment in Santa Marta. So we all rolled over there…but they were just boring as hell. My pals I was with can testify to this. I wouldn’t even count it as a date.
8 Tips To Bang Colombian Women
As when I posted about Hungarian girls, here is a quick glimpse of who I am and the style of game I run.
Looks and Style: I’m 5’8″, maybe 5’9″ on a good day. 180 pounds, look reasonably big but not shredded. When going out, usually in a blazer at a minimum, with a pocket square and a nice watch. For dates that girls came straight over I usually just wore basketball shorts and a t-shirt. No joke.
Type of Game: I’m not a sniper, by any means. I’m very sociable in general, so it feels natural for me to talk to various people throughout the night. My lack of Spanish made both day and night approaching difficult.
1. Learn Spanish.
I had no idea how little the level of English would be in Barranquilla. Admittedly it is supposed to be better in the larger, capital cities. Fortunately I had a few semesters of Spanish in college and wasn’t a total rookie at it, but overall you will have an advantage if you learn some Spanish – but with note…
1A. Maybe…don’t learn Spanish.
The best dates I had were all with Colombian women who spoke no English.
There’s something to be said for being forced to communicate with body language and touch almost exclusively. It’s very primal and powerful. The best advice I can give is to simply be wary of Colombian women that do speak English, as there’s a decent chance they’re just meeting you to have a free drink and practice their English, with no intention of any sexual relations.
2. Hold their hand from first contact all the way to the bedroom.
I knew Colombian women were flaky.
I had no idea how flaky.
There were days I had four dates set up and none of them came through. There were several that cancelled on me two minutes before we were supposed to meet. Even the ones I did get out took a lot of work.
You must hold their hand every step of the way. As a high-value foreigner, you really can’t “over text” them.
You need to text them throughout the entire process. Give them a time. Ask them when they are leaving. Tell them to call a taxi. Text them while they are in route. I really have no good explanation as to why it is so much work, but keeping in constant touch throughout the interaction was how I had the most success.
** Do realize that #1 (learn Spanish) could definitely help in this aspect.
3. Give them taxi money if needed.
My Colombian girlfriend is actually a promoter girl.
Not a bottle service girl, but think more along the lines of the girls who promote energy drinks such as Monster and Red Bull by driving around in the trucks, working events, etc.
According to Glassdoor, girls on the “Monster Ambassador” team make roughly $15 an hour.
My Colombian girl made the equivalent of ~$22 a day for an eight hour shift (70mil Colombian Peso ).
It was a 20mil round trip taxi between her house and my apartment. That’s over two hours of work just for a round-trip taxi ride at no more than 10 minutes each way.
What I’m saying is – if they ask for taxi money, don’t hesitate to give it to them. 20mil COP is roughly $6.
A $6 bang might as well be free.
4. You must touch QUICKLY.
The Latin culture is very sensual, read this post on nightlife in Bogota to understand more.
They all know how to dance, and are very comfortable with human touch. The American girl bullshit game of having to warm them up every step of the way is non-existent. If they like you, they’ll be touching you within three minutes of meeting in very subtle ways. You must have the balls to push that envelope. If everything is going well, you can kiss Colombian women within fifteen minutes of meeting.
5. Appreciate the culture of Colombian women.
They’re proud of it. Don’t throw it under the bus or make fun of it. I made this mistake once and had to recover.
6. Colombian women have a silly sense of humor.
A friend warned me about this before the trip, and he was dead right.
The girls will laugh at anything. You’ll feel like a famous comedian at times.
Don’t hesitate to make fun of yourself or your poor Spanish. I called myself a lazy gringo all the time and girls just lapped it up.
7. Be prepared for them to fall in love.
My Colombian girlfriend was saying she loved me after three dates. I don’t think it means quite as much as it does here in America, but there’s definitely something to it. After two dates she was telling me she didn’t want me to go out to be with other girls.
The trick is to handle accordingly. There are lots of articles around here that discuss keeping a girl around whilst still fucking around.
8. Be prepared to break their heart.
Some of these girls have money and are quite happy.
From what I saw, most probably aren’t.
My little Colombian girl had the experience of a lifetime with me. She got to stay in a penthouse beach apartment with a beautiful view:
She got to ride a jet ski with me, which she said was the, “best fifteen minutes of her life”.
She ate at a city-overlooking rooftop restaurant with us, where I dropped ~230mil COP ($72 USD) for all four of us to eat and drink to our hearts content. That’s the equivalent of three days work for her. To give it some perspective, if I were to drop three days of work pay on dinner in Los Angeles the bill would be over $1,000.
It’s fair to say that Colombia still has a reputation throughout the world of being a bit of a shit-hole, and a dangerous place. Some Colombian women are looking for a better life. I am currently torn on whether to let this girl visit me here in Los Angeles. The day after I left she was at the Embassy trying to figure it out. On one hand, having the Colombian girlfriend experience for a week or so here at home would be awesome. She’d cook and clean and I’d show her Los Angeles.
The visa application is only $70 and I have more than enough airline miles accrued I could fly her for free (without even making a dent in my miles savings).
But she’ll never want to leave. She’ll be ruined for Colombian men. She’ll probably try to get me to marry her.
Most likely she will never get to experience something like coming to the States, and if I get something out of it, great. It will be the trip of a lifetime for her.
But eventually…I’ll end up shattering her heart.
Despite the negative tone of the last point, don’t let it sway you. Colombian women are beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and have a contagious energy that just rubs off on you. The amount of happiness I seem to feel every time I’m abroad is indescribable.
So do yourself a favor: go to Latin America, and find some beautiful Colombian women.
After landing back in the States and comparing the girls here to Colombian girls, I started applying for remote jobs online. I don’t know if this blog will ever be enough to make a full living on the Internet, but I have to get back to Colombia and the amazing Colombian girls.
Thanks as always for your readership everybody.
Let me know what you think I should do about Girl #1 in regards to tip #8.
PS: If you have an interest in going to Colombia, or other Latin countries – consider checking out Colombian Cupid to get started.