Today’s post is courtesy of a guest poster, Grace. She’s been a loyal reader since I started ThisIsTrouble, and she makes some great points in this post. I am now accepting guest posts, so if you want to contribute to shenanigans, get in touch here.
5 Reasons Women Should Read Manosphere Blogs
I’m a woman. A long-haired, dress-wearing woman with a particularly high-pitched voice. I have lots of lady friends, and we squeal together, drink mimosas, laugh at tacky people, and talk about our love-hate relationship with babies, diets, and corporate job constraints. We found our soul mates with our besties, because no one else will understand our mood swings like the women who were there after each heartbreak. It’s almost like we don’t even need men!
Okay, so I’ve hooked female readers.
Before all the men stray from what I have to say, take another look at the italicized sentence. The key word is almost. What I didn’t mention is that, despite what most single female writers say, the main reason women bond is because of you. Men. Strong, hairy, smelly, sexy, masculine men. I get that we’re not all straight, but good Lord have mercy on my soul! I certainly am. I love men too much. Even writing this… just thinking about y’all… I’m feeling frisky. I digress.
For those still reading, I’ll propose my thesis statement: Women Should Read Manosphere Blogs (and take it like a woman).
Calm down. That wasn’t a feminist statement. I dislike modern feminism. Taking something like a woman is different than taking it like a man. We are in fact, two different sexes, so let it be for Christ’s sake. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean “act like a man.” We have men for that. When I say “take it like a woman,” I think about how I swallow and grin. Let’s be honest, giving head is… awful. Finally the salty, warm goo enters the scene, and you swallow it quickly so it’s not on your tongue for long. Once it’s down though… you smile and realize it wasn’t so awful. The man you care about has endorphins coarsing through his body, and you get to feel all empowered and shit. So women: as you read manosphere blogs, realize that it sounds awful and some of it isn’t going to work for you and the guy you’re into. In the end, however, you both get something out of it.
Now that you’re ready to take what I have to say with a mouth of salt, here’s my list (because everyone loves a good list):
1. The men are manly.
These dudes are overall pretty conservative… or libertarian. They do manly things like hike, rock climb, and use power tools. Some are bros, and some are country boys. They don’t take shit (which is incredibly sexy), and they don’t want to do feminine things. Do those things with your girls. Seriously, have some girl friends. Don’t be that girl who only hangs out with men. As a girl with a solid group of male friends, I know this doesn’t work out in your favor. It just makes you look easy, even if you’re a prude.
2. They say what’s going on in their dirty little minds.
So many brunches involve women reading into text messages and things men say during sex. It drives us even crazier than we already are! These blogs on the other hand, aren’t sending mixed messages. It’s the painful truth, and it’s what they’re thinking. Take it or leave it, girlfriend.
3. They want you to be a woman in all your womanly glory.
Take away the brash qualities of #backtothekitchen and #slutshaming, and you can see that these men really just want you to embrace being a woman. Women are sensitive. We cry and naturally want to care for something, ie. the main reason the sweetest girls end up with bad boys. They innately want to make them better. It’s the way we are, and it’s OK to feel that way. Be a little protective, do the sappy things this modern world frowns upon, and give him a back rub because you like touching him. Just be a woman.
4. They’re into different body types, as long as you’re legitimately healthy.
Really, be healthy. If your blood pressure is high and you’re pre-diabetic, your curves aren’t to be embraced. If you have 0% body fat, you also aren’t to embrace your flat chest. As a woman, you need the appropriate amount of insulation to produce estrogen… to ovulate… to have kids. And you want kids, you know it. You may not want them now, but you will. Be your best self! Also, squats make for a great ass. Just do them. Men will appreciate it, and you get to reap the benefits with a few nice smacks to it. Don’t knock it til you try it.
5. You learn their game.
This is possibly my favorite reason. As in any game, it’s always good to know your opponent. Now I know exactly what a man is doing when he flips back and forth between complete ass and sincere teddy bear. I know what a neg is. I also know I’m being tested… a lot. While it’s added some frustration knowing that every man is ultimately trying to sleep with me on the first date regardless of his feelings, at least I’m no longer living in a fantasy world looking for Prince Charming.
What’s not to love about that? Sure, get hot and bothered about a few of the topics. Comment if you like, only to be hounded by a pack of wild, manly men defending their beliefs. Instead of becoming that raging, hormonal beast that you become every once in a while, read into it to see the good. That’s what women do best anyway, right?
And if you’re really lucky, you’ll actually start talking to one of the authors. You’ll find out they’re not so bad after all.