40% Response Rate With Online Dating? Excellent!

A reader recently wrote in to me about Cracking OkCupid:

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Hey Kyle,

you made it right. I read your book in a day. I already used OkC for about a year and knew some little tricks but you opened my mind. Really good job of yours.

I came up with an opener which I think is really good. Here’s my stats with it:

48 openers sent
19 replies
2 dates arranged

…in 1 day and a half.

My opener is funny, teasing and helps me screen out girls who are stupid (because they don’t get it), don’t have sense of humor at all or are bitchy.

My dating game is quite smooth so 1 expect at least 1 lay out of 2 on the first/second date maximum. It’s amazing how I can save a lot of time because I do this in the office. It’s like I’m hitting on girls all the time. Here in China online dating is big.

Thanks again for a great read,

[name]

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It’s funny that Cracking OkCupid was released two years ago, and still makes me a good chunk of change every month. I also find it ironic that it didn’t launch that well (I had no idea how to do it at the time). I simply put it live and hoped for the best. In comparison, King’s Code did a hell of a lot better.

But passive income is passive income, and two years later it still keeps chugging along because it’s a timeless book. Even though OkCupid will eventually die as a platform, the core lessons about online dating still hold true in COKC’s pages.

The proof lies within the pages, like this excerpt (taken from the first chapter):

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Myth #1 – Looks

There are many people that fully believe the only guys who get dates online are “10s”. Let’s start by clarifying that there are no 10s in a woman’s world. Every girl has a type that based on drastically more complex standards than your average man.

For a man, the 1-10 rating is based almost entirely off of looks. If she’s not overweight, that likely places her at a 6 on the scale to start. For simplicity’s sake, I’m talking about American body types, which usually ere on the side of obese. If she has an excellent body (i.e. better than average) and a good face, she will probably be an 8. After that, it’s subjective. One man’s 8 will be another man’s 10. Another man’s 9 will only be a 7 to the guy next to him. However, the foundation of the 1-10 rating scale is solid because men generally agree that beauty, femininity, and fitness can all be judged the same based around a pair of boobs and a vagina.
11

If only women were so simple.

Women are attracted to power, money, confidence, and charisma. A fat man with all of these qualities in spades will still be able to attract women, and will even be loved by them. A fat woman with these qualities is the woman who ends up on the TV show Hoarders for owning too many cats. All other things being equal, a man who is in shape will likely do better than one who is fat, but the difference isn’t as marked as that between a fat and slim woman.

Starting to come together?

Due to the various differences in personalities, upbringings, etc., women have a lot more to be attracted, or not attracted to. One woman’s 10 might be another woman’s 3. One woman’s 6 might be another’s 1. There is just no way of telling until you open your mouth and give yourself a shot. Or, in this case, until you copy and paste the same message you sent to the previous hundred girls.

What’s fascinating about OKCupid and other online dating sites or apps is that it deemphasizes what a woman would naturally consider attractive and instead makes them – you guessed it – exactly like men. OKCupid and other technology based dating mediums forces them to base their initial desire off of looks alone. When you’re messaging girls on OKCupid, you have a split second of their attention.

You must capture it quickly or you’ll be tossed aside quicker than another pair of semen-stained panties.

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Got online dating questions? Drop them in the comments below.

Also, you can get your copy of Cracking OkCupid at CrackingOkCupid.com.

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