Dating girls in the West is about the same as buying a lemon car. No matter how much maintenance you put into the thing, something is just always broken. There’s always a part that’s falling off, it’s an endless money pit, and overall it causes you more grief and frustration than any of the joy that having a car provides.
Much better, as discussed here many times before.
With that being said, there are different ways you can, and should, approach dating girls abroad. It requires a whole different set of skills, especially patience, as you deal with cultural differences. In addition, you’re usually dealing with far more gentle souls rather than souls that have been tormented by one
hundred too many trips around the carousel.
Here are a few tips and adjustments I’ve had to make:
This post originally appeared here.
1. Screen her well
I went into great details about this in my post, 8 Criteria A Girl Should Pass To Enter A Relationship With You. Simply put, put in the time to get your game skills up to par. This will give you far greater outcome independence with girls and make you pickier, a very good thing when it comes to relationships.
Over time, long term relationships make your life simpler. This is especially true after the initial phase of lust is over. It usually comes down to a girl making your life better in a simple matter, or making it completely miserable. During the first few months, it’s easy to overlook any and all bad issues because biology drives you to bond with each other.
But over time, she will prove whether she makes your life better (and again, it won’t be like Disney claims), or absolute hell. As soon as she starts showing signs of making it difficult, prepare to put one foot out the door. Don’t hesitate to test her and kick her to the curb if needed.
2. Rule with an iron fist
The burden of performance is always going to be on you, even more so with foreign girls. You are going to pay for most things. You are going to have to make the hard decisions. You are going to have to still have your appearance, overall self-confidence, and bankroll on point.
It can be difficult at times to always be “on” with the decisive, action-taking masculinity, but it’s a must. Make the decisions, even if they’re wrong. Better to be wrong and own it up than to be wishy-washy and right. If she is out of line, take appropriate action. Keep the harmony between masculine and feminine and both you and she will bring out the best of each other in the relationship.
Fail to do this and you’ll end up like one of those chodes that gets scammed by a foreign bride. He imports her, lives in harmony for a while, then the day her citizenship is granted, then takes the kids and half his money and moves them to a liberal cesspool of a city.
3. Some kindness is good
When in longer term relationships with American girls, I relentlessly toyed with their emotions as a tool to keep their pussy lubricated for the long-term. Otherwise, I wouldn’t just need to change the oil every 3,000 miles—I’d need to find a whole new car.
I endlessly teased, disappeared, and screwed with their heads to keep the balance of power in my corner. I knew as soon as I took my foot off the gas, she’d start getting a little bit more intrigued by all the dudes trying to slide into her DMs.
I’m not saying that you should be a mushy, sappy pussy with foreign girls, but a bit of kindness isn’t going to be the knife in your back. And in most cases, you can be a lot easier overall on them. There’s been a few times that I can say I’ve actually probably hurt my girl—by saying things that would normally make a western girl swoon.
4. Accept cultural differences, but know your boundaries
This is one thing I never would have thought to prepare for. Most of my jaunts prior to actually moving abroad were just two-week ventures to sleep with as many women as possible. The cultural differences were minor for those short trips. It created no conflict when we both knew what the deal was—a fun fling for a night, or at most a week.
To be in a relationship with a foreign girl, however, get ready to butt heads on strange things. Language barriers seems like a cakewalk compared to what happens as time goes on, where you seem to be on different planets. The most important thing is to know your boundaries. Her culture is who makes her who she is, after all. If you like her, you don’t want to lose that. But, there are definitely some things that you must draw the line on. Only you can determine what those things are.
Don’t think it’s not work. It is glamorous, especially at first. But, I’m finding as I cross the first year mark of being abroad, little inconveniences add up, and the LTR is good—but it is still work.
Don’t kid yourself into thinking it’s easy street just because you bought a plane ticket.