Why you'd never want to date Captain Marvel - This Is Trouble

Why you’d never want to date Captain Marvel

In the last decade or so, since the original Ironman was released, there’s been a whole lotta superhero movies sweeping the world.

Yeah, the original Ironman. I’ll stop and let you feel old for a second…


Since then, Marvel has launched dozens of movies in their Cinematic Universe, and DC has released many in their own universe as well.

Most of these go off without a hitch.

(Well, maybe not for DC since the movies are just horrible, but, point stands.)

Except for a few of them.

Which seem to draw up controversy…

And, typically it seems to be the movies with a female lead as opposed to the stereotypical male superhero.

ie: Captain Marvel and Wonder Woman

Now, nothing against female superheroes at all.

And, I believe the majority of the comic books *superfans* aren’t bothered by this at all, either.

But you know what happens?

Inevitably these movies become political. They become a battleground for a war that nobody wins. I won’t dive into the actual arguments or the controversies themselves. There’s no point. Let’s talk about the business though.

Sure, the filmmakers get to capture a new audience — but, they typically alienate one very specific set of customer in that process.

The superhero super fans.

Because the hardcore fans don’t want their favorite comics polluted with nonsense.

They just want to come and enjoy the movie.

The result?

The superhero companies might gain some one-time customers who come and see the one film, but they never stay on board.

They came because of the outrage.

Not the type of customer you generally want to have. Nor are they able to capture them into “lifetime” customers.

They just anger and frustrate their already lifetime fans…who gradually begin to turn away.

Now, what’s the point of all this, you asked? I’m happy to tell you, my friend…

Simply put, that industries that have typically been beloved by your normal heterosexual dood are now shaming that same customer base. The same doods like us who wouldn’t mind just having one decent, quality girl in our life, but heavens knows where to find her.

(She’s at the Captain Marvel premiere with a shaved head, protesting the patriarchy, or something like that…)

Anyways, I’ll be going into more details about the wretched dating world that plagues us today.

It’s almost like Thanos just snapped his fingers and took away all the thin and pretty girls.

But, I’ve got a way to fight back on him.

I’ll tell you about it on Sunday:


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